Children

1) You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

2) Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

3) Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

4) There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.

5) Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

6) I asked Mom if I was a gifted child....

She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

7) Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

8) Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

9) The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

10) We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

11) Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. . . Those are the one's worth pursuing."

-- Anonymous, April 20, 2001