1. Only Girls Wipe

2. The Domineering Mother And Her Obsessively Neat Son

3. Little Timmy Disappears Forever

4. The Berenstain Bears Shit In The Woods

5. Mermaids Are Girls Who Pushed To Hard (and other stories)

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2001

Answers

I just gave my sec'y a copy of "How to Shit in the Woods". She's contemplating buying a cabin in the woods. No plumbing yet. I told her how to get herself situated indoors with 5-gallon buckets, and the book was for her girlfriends who are too grossed out for that idea.

I have a memory of raising my hand in first grade and asking my teacher if I could "try hard", being my euphemism for something else at the time (apparently it has always been a problem for me). Not realizing my teacher would have no idea (or not THAT idea) of what I was saying, I saw at the time that I was reduced to explain very graphically what I meant. I recall she sent me out of the room rather quickly so I might not finish my explanation to her. In retrospect, did she really think that even at that age I was so dense I would ask such a seemingly rhetorical question?

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2001

Humm, when I was that little, I thought the number 1,2,3,4 or 5 was the universal signal of intent.... Are you a mermaid?

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2001

Here's a contribution from my childhood. My mother didn't like the term "potty," so she called going to the bathroom, Going to See Sally. This created problems when I started school, and told the teacher that's what I needed to do. Her response was "Sally, who?" When she finally understood, she explained that we called it "the restroom" in school. My mother was embarrassed that she hadn't reminded me of that before I started public school.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2001