The Top 10 Signs Your Neighbor is Using Too Much Electricity 10. Alien space vessels keep docking in his driveway to recharge their warp drives. 9. A sharp "tzing" and scream of pain from next door tells you the meter-reader has lost another finger to the kilowatt wheel. 8. All metal objects in neighborhood point toward their family room. 7. Always has the stereo blasting the whole time he's vacuuming the yard. 6. Armored truck delivers the monthly bill as a leather-bound 14-volume set. 5. You've been reduced to plugging the toaster into the cat and rubbing him on the wall just to make breakfast. 4. Him: sun-tanning by the pool. You: still shoveling snow. 3. Ghost of Tom Edison moaning and circling the cupola. 2. He looks around nervously and gives a half-hearted laugh when you suggest his kids be "grounded." 1. Cleans his pool by bringing it to a rolling boil for 30 minutes. Copyright 2001 by Chris White The Top 5 List -- top5@gmbweb.com -- www.topfive.com Power Engineering April, 2001

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-- Martin Thompson (mthom1927@aol.com), April 15, 2001

Answers

Cute, Martin. I've given all my neighbours a copy. :)

-- Rachel Gibson (rgibson@hotmail.com), April 15, 2001.

roflol (rolling on floor, laughing out load

A few other signs

They air condition their carport

They use their driveway as an ice skating rink---in July

They have icecycles hanging from their roof---year round

Their porch light attracts landing airplanes

They maintain a temperate climate in their home by running the furnace and air conditioner at the same time.

At night, when they go to bed they turn on a night light and your lights dim.

-- Tom Flook (tflook@earthlink.net), April 15, 2001.