It was confirmed tonight that following the breakdown of talks earlier this evening all production of Guinness will come to a halt in Dublin as from tomorrow.Workers are protesting at the proposed shutdown of the packaging plant at Dundalk.

It is anticipated that Ireland could be a Guinness -free zone as early as next week.

A spokesman at Murphy's Bar,Ballycotton was weeping as he gave his customers the latest news.Padraig Kelly said that an Ireland without the Black Stuff would be like a cart without the donkey.

-- Chris (enquiries@griffenmill.com), April 11, 2001

Answers

Murphy's Irish Stout anyone?

sniffin' the glass...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), April 11, 2001.

And of course we could always turn to Mackeson XXX Stout, eh Mr Dog? Good stuff, if you haven't tried it you ought to. Even better than bones!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), April 11, 2001.

Murphy's is a fine stout, a lovely stout, an estimable stout. But there is no way the lovely folks at the Murphy's brewery can satisfy the mighty thirst of all Ireland!

-- Miserable SOB (misery@misery.com), April 12, 2001.

Tonight the strike is on.A Guinness spokesman said that Ireland consumes 50% of all the Guinness brewed.Goood heavens !

-- Chris (chris@griffenmill.com), April 12, 2001.

So? they will all sober up. And probably for the first time in their lives.

-- (B@F.D), April 12, 2001.

Sober up? Surely you have heard that whiskey was an Irish invention, too? They shall simply need to adjust their habits to accomodate a slightly narrower choice of potations. No need to surrender to the horror of sobriety!

-- Miserable SOB (misery@misery.com), April 12, 2001.

There are some that swear by Bushmills but Tullamore Dew Single Malt is much sneakier.2 doubles & your head is fine but legs have refused to work. The effect of the Guinness strike has been made much worse by the promotion they are running.Double Return flight to New York for $15.

-- Chris (chris@griffenmill.com), April 13, 2001.