n Palm Beach Post Wednesday, April 11

Column: Send water cops after the guzzlers

By Sally Swatz, Palm Beach Post Staff Writer

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

All things considered, I'm pretty conservation-minded. I'm not bragging, but I'd give myself at least a B-plus -- maybe even an A-minus -- for conservation citizenship. I faithfully put my newspapers and magazines out each week in a yellow plastic bin for recycling. I dutifully wash dog food cans and pile them in the blue bin beside the back door to recycle with the empty plastic jugs, glass bottles and soda cans. I tote canvas bags to Publix and Winn-Dixie to use instead of paper or plastic bags for my groceries.

I turn off lights and fans in rooms I'm not using. I don't run the air conditioning when the weather is as wonderful as it has been the past week.

I've been pretty good about water, though those of us on the South Martin Regional Utilities water system in Hobe Sound don't have to be. I voluntarily cut my bill from $73 a month last July to less than $30 last month. My lawn has tan spots since I rely only on sparse 4 a.m. sprinklings. It's acquiring that "old Florida" look, showing some sandy patches here and there. A native tells me that used to be natural before "the Yankees" arrived. That's OK with me.

I haven't showered with a bucket to collect excess water for plants, but I was considering it. Not anymore, though. I'm mad. Stories in The Post and The Miami Herald about South Florida's water hogs -- the individuals, institutions and utilities that are using the most, even during the drought -- make me see red.

A Palm Beach gazillionaire uses more than 2 million gallons a month, compared with the 10,000 per month the average home uses. Another uses more than 1 million, and eight more millionaires guzzle monthly amounts ranging from more than a half-million gallons to almost a million. And I'm going to ease the crisis by not letting the water run while I brush my teeth? So Mr. Megabucks can put an extra quart of water in his swimming pool? Please.

In Miami-Dade County, the top 12 users, in descending order, include Miami International Airport -- at 664 million gallons per month -- Florida Power & Light's Turkey Point nuke plant, the Port of Miami, the Virginia Key sewage treatment plant, Jackson Memorial Hospital, Key Biscayne Golf Course, four jails, Calder Race Course and a Miami condo.

Together, they used more than 2.6 billion gallons over the past year, according to the Herald story. Cruise ships used 80 percent of the 294 million gallons the port used last year. They pay for the water, but only enough to cover administrative expenses.

Hmmm. If I wait to run a full load of laundry, I might save enough water to keep a few blades of grass green at a golf course, treat a teaspoon of sewage, keep a nuclear plant cool for a nanosecond or let a cruise ship passenger hoist another scotch and water. I'm not inspired to conserve.

Then I learn that the South Florida Water Management District is planning workshops for police departments in West Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale and Miami that are designed to beef up enforcement against potential residential water criminals like me. Trouble is, all the little conservation measures small users can take pale in comparison to the demands of the water guzzlers.

When the water management district board refused to put in the tougher Phase 3 restrictions and instead relaxed the rules, I was surprised, but hopeful. Maybe the crisis was easing.

Then the board members decided the crisis was back, so they had to back-pump putrid canal water into long-suffering Lake Okeechobee to increase the supply. The rich can use as much water as they want, while the water cops stalk the rest of us.

My water company has no restrictions at the moment. Should I shower with a bucket? I think not. In fact, I plan to wash my car tonight after work. Maybe I'll wash my dog, too. Then I'm going to soak that khaki-colored section of lawn.

And if the newly trained water police show up? They can kiss my car, my dog -- or my grass.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2001