Huge Obnoxious Machine that.... : LUSENET : Junkyard Wars : One Thread

Everybody that posts on this board has one factor in common,one thing that we all truely enjoy.HUGE,LOUD,DIRTY,OVERPOWERED MACHINES that are way over engineered for thier specific purpose,and when asked "why build it?",the obvious answer is "why not!".With that in mind I'll post this idea that was spawned from a conversation with Chip Haynes,(so it's all his fault).We were talking about the "lawn Vac" thread and I told him it reminded me of a turf vac I rescued from the heap with the idea of picking up and shredding debris from a rather large black walnut tree I have in my yard.I increased the fan speed to pick up the nuts as well,but only suceeded in flinging little hard balls at about 100 mph in every direction,getting hit with several ricochets before I shut it down (Ouch!a VERY unexpected result!!).It of course was an overpowered noisey machine.....even the dog new better and hid! So Here's the machine idea.A BIG,SMELLY,UNCORKED HEADER V8 POWERED......nut cracker.Now everybody can crack a regular walnut in one hand...that's an ENGLISH walnut.we're talking about BLACK walnuts...those little wooden hardballs about the size of a large marble.I've used them for ammunition in my wrist rocket to fuel for my caveman blast furnace that I melt aluminum in.They are extremely HARD!!The challenge could be not just to crack them,but to collect the most meat.Could it be done in ten hours? Who knows.Is this an idea with merit? You decide. I've never seen a commercial shelling machine,but I know that none of them will shell this particular nut.What do you think?

-- Matthew Kenney (, April 11, 2001


Glad you posted this, Matthew- It should make for some serious fun! When I was in high school, we lived in Ohio and my Dad came home one day with a huge burlap bag full of black walnuts. They were big- about the size of the regular English ones you get at the store. The thing is, they are truly God's Armored Food. A tough nut to crack, to say the least. Dad build a three sided wooden trough just wide enough to put his truck's back tire down in, jacked the back of the truck up and braced the trough so the tire had less than an inch clearance off the bottom. He started the truck up, put it in first and then began dropping walnuts down the trough. It sounded like gun fire, and was as dangerous as playing dodge ball on a firing range, but it worked! This would make for a Very Exciting Junk Yard War!

-- Chip Haynes (, April 11, 2001.

OK Guys, this seems to be a fun one. I only have one question, can you build it so it cracks a bag at a time??

-- Joey Falgout (Broadcast Junkies) (, April 11, 2001.

I have two of those nasty trees in my front yard and would gladly supply all the nuts you want. The nuts aren't as much a problem as those spindly leaf hangers. If they weren't so pretty I'd cut them down.


-- JustJay-captain-Three Rusty Juveniles (, April 11, 2001.

The whole bag at once? Piece of cake. All you have to do is drop a massive multi-ton weight onto a solid steel slab. Thee was one in the first "Terminator" movie, I think. You, um, didn't plan to eat those walnuts, did you?

-- Chip Haynes (, April 12, 2001.

Your all nuts LOL

-- Rick The Rocket (, April 24, 2001.

So Rick, what was your first clue? (And if you can think of a better use for those black walnuts, we're all waiting to hear it!)

-- Chip Haynes (, April 25, 2001.

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