"We have to ring Dr Steadman this week to tell him about the latest set of results. They are fairly positive and we are hoping Alan will get the go-ahead to jog and get mobile by Thursday or Friday. NUFC physio

"Hello is that Mr Steadman? We have the results of Shearer's knee scan and we cn confirm that the knee is still there. Can we send him on an army training camp to get him up to 50% fitness for the two games over the Easter period?"

Doctor Steadman

"NO WAY"

NUFC physio

"Bobby he said OK"

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2001

Answers

Joking aside, it does seem as if the club are dealing with this in the responsible cautious way that they should have done in and around November. Maybe lessons have been learnt with the succesful return of Cort and Dabizas (Hopefully, no reaction form last night's reserve meatch).

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2001

I bet Shearer plays in the maKem game.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2001

I hope Shearer doesn't play again this season. I hope Newcastle do whats right, bloody rest him so he can destroy defenses next season. Why play him again this season, we don't look like going down and we certainly won't make Europe. I hope the club does something right for once.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2001