"Trainers taught the male whale to roll on its back so they could get semen samples"

SeaWorld

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001

Answers

hmmm!...I'm detecting a pattern of the subject content of your postings...hmmm!

-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), April 06, 2001.

Lars, we had a bull one time that we used to collect semen from for freezing and later shipment to other owners. He fell on the ice while tryin to breed a heifer and broke his wanger so he couldn't do it naturally any more. When he got a blue veiner it turned 45 degrees to the left and pointed towards Canada every time. We'd have to tie him up and lay him on his back and lead a sexy heifer right close to his nostrils so he could get a whiff. When the right time come you'd have to be quick and in the right place to collect ole Leroy or he'd shoot it over the water trough and we'd have to wait another half hour for him to get charged up again. So I know what that sperm whale and it's owners went thru.

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), April 06, 2001.

Peg--

No pattern, not even persistently tacky. My last 11 threads have been:

1)- Islam's Black Slaves

2)- Coping with Lupus

3)- Grrrr, China-------(about possibly canceling the order for tan berets)

4)- An Exciting Night (about my Neighborhood Association annual snore-fest)

5)-Sniffin Bicycle Seats (about human pheromones)

6)- Eat Soy

7)- Smother Love (about a 300# mom who died and smothered her baby)

8)- That's My Bush! (TV show review)

9)- PC language (about the census racial categories)

10)-Attacks on Women in Central Park

11)-Nobel Peace Prize for Clinton (April Fool)

The only conscious trend here is to go with fluff or nonpolitical, nontheological topics. I do weigh in on such things on other people's threads but I rarely start one of my own, anymore. (subject to change of course). Maybe the Central Park thread pushed some folks political buttons.

Things are so touchy around here that I try to avoid gratuitously offending anyone.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

Guess I was thinking 'bout that thread that had something to do with preserved animal (what's the plural for penis?) peni...hee hee.

Oh well, continue on...you're doing a heck of a job..(pat on back).

:)

-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), April 06, 2001.

Moby DICK

-- (the @ real. DICK), April 06, 2001.

Things are so touchy around here that I try to avoid gratuitously offending anyone.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

Unk's Mild, Mild West?

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), April 06, 2001.

Bosgrove: You STILL encourage my laughter more than any other poster here.

Some 20 years ago or so, we drove from Chicago to Montana to see some family who worked on a ranch in Montana. These folks didn't OWN the ranch. They were just hired workers. The ranch was owned by a corporation out of NY, and the corporation had decided to artificially inseminate all the cows with sperm from some British bulls twice their size. The thought was that the new generation would be bigger, providing more sellable beef. Most of the cows died during childbirth, their pelvices being broken by the calves.

Anyway, we didn't know HOW it would turn out at the time, but we spent several days "wrangling" all the cows over to the vet who could stick his arm and hypodermic needle into those cows in heat. He really enjoyed his job, mentioning on more than one occasion how the cow "leaned into" his arm in her "pleasure."

Your comments remind me of Bob [husband of the girl we went to see]. He had all these "folksy" sayings that kept us entertained for hours. He ran off with another woman eventually, leaving his wife and two kids alone, but that's neither here nor there.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), April 06, 2001.

Um...sorry BosWELL. Grove...Well...duh!

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), April 06, 2001.

Artificial Insemiation, yep I've collected and I've delivered. Nothin quite like it on the farm or anywhere, I know! Anita, you got to remember that you ain't got a bull in the pasture when you're A.I.ing. But you need to know when them cows are in heat cause the best time to do them is 12 hours after they go out of heat. We use a Gomer bull to detect them. He's still got balls but his riggin has been surgically moved from his belly up to his left side if he is left handed. That way he can't get it in! Than we put a chin ball marker around his neck filled with pink paint and when he jumps a cow he paints up her butt. That way we know she was wantin it! Gomers only last about two breedin seasons and they just give up. Never stand close to one of em cause when they pee it can hit you right in the ear and they kind of smell too.

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), April 07, 2001.

You be nice to gomer! Poor gomer

-- (cin@cin.cin), April 07, 2001.

Actually Cin, probably the cruelest thing that could ever be done to any animal was done to Gomer and all the rest that preceded him. To want to have sex and have a willing cow stand and not be able to ring her door bell falls in the category of starvation and Chinese water torture. But it was still better than the alternative.

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), April 07, 2001.

"He's still got balls but his riggin has been surgically moved from his belly up to his left side if he is left handed."

Please explain how you can tell a bull is left handed. thanx

-- Pammy (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), April 08, 2001.

Pammy,

When he jumps up onto a cow's butt to hump away, his left hand will reach underneath to grab her boobs, while the right hand would grab firmly onto her right butt cheek.

At least, that's the way I do it.

-- (maximization@of.stimulation), April 08, 2001.

Pammy, you can tell when a bull is left or right handed when he is born. When they slip out one of the first things they try to do is wipe that mucous out of their eyes and they use their hooves to do it. And we write that down in our calving book so we don't forget it. Comes in mighty handy down the road.

-- Boswell (cjseed@webtv.net), April 08, 2001.