After a good deal of thought I feel I must refrain from active participation on this board. It has been a little over a year of a wonderful experience, meeting all of you, even those of you with whom I disagree.

There are worlds to be conquered IRL, and for me to take my stand, it is pointless to do it here; I can better educate people in my neighborhood, my state, about issues which are affecting them, or may effect them in the future. I need to get into the public debate locally, where I can do some good, instead of using the time on this board.

Being an active participant here has allowed me to fine-tune my beliefs, sharpen my abilities, and has given me a set of new friends who have met me IRL, and who have my e-mail address for future correspondence(You know who you are : ) ). As far as spiritual work, it is also time to take action IRL; this has been fine, but I need to "touch" people, get out there in the trenches and speak to the lost souls in the gutter-do more twelvth step work. Again, broadening the audience IRL is what is important to me now.

So to all of you, thank you for the memories. I will occassionally lurk, but this will be it. For those of you who will tell me "don't let the door hit you", or some variation, I thank you in advance for your kind remarks-It is your chastisements, insults, and opposition which have made me stronger and convinced me of my political beliefs. For the others, I am just out of sight, but not out of mind. You know how to get me.

Peace to you all, and good luck with the new influx of people.

Tom M.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 05, 2001

Answers

Sorry to see you go. Drop me a line. The e-mail address is real, but cranky. If you can't reach me there, reach me at tarzan_and_jane_greystoke@yahoo.com

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 05, 2001.

Wow.....echo the sentiments, Tom, which is why you haven't seen much of ME here either. (BTW, thanks, Tarzan; a stalwart if there ever was one.)

Will definitely keep in touch and will let you know the next time I'm able to get back East.

Take care of yourself (I know you will). Thanks for all you've tried to do.

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), April 05, 2001.

Tom,

It's a bit early in the morn for me to start slinging superlatives. Neurons are still shaking hands and introducing themselves to one other. Neurotransmitters aren't firing, they’re plodding across synapses.

But I'll do my best. You’re worth it, my friend.

I recall when I first found Uncensored Spinoff almost one year ago. I was shocked (no pun intended) to find a group of people discussing spiritual experiences and more mundane issues with passion, unencumbered by the threat of deletion and/or banishment, in language I could (mostly) understand. Just what I needed at that point in time. Home sweet cyber-home. I hung my shingle in short order.

We developed quite a close-knit community, with Bok's serving as a nighttime gathering place and the forum providing us with a blackboard for sharing our thoughts with the larger contingent. And a man with the pseudonym FutureShock - gray@matter.think - occupied center stage. Deservedly. Most assuredly.

Bok's is gone. Quite the laboratory, that yellow Monkey House. Quite the conduit for connecting hearts and minds in harmonious convergence without undue promulgation of one philosophy or another, without sacrifice of individuality. Each could be who they were – and more. Bok’s Groks will forever live on in my heart. And a man with the pseudonym FutureShock - gray@matter.think - occupied center stage.

As we learned you and I share similarities in our personal histories, as you endured my harangues about not providing a legitimate email address (ROTFL!), we grew closer. The culmination being our meeting not long ago in a diner in NJ where for all I know Debra served us buckets of coffee and emptied ashtray after ashtray of stubbed out cigarettes. Was that you, Debra? If so, you should smile more often. ;)

You've battled long and hard, Tom. You're a winner, my friend. A mover. A shaker. A powerful individual who's life experience couldn't (and shouldn’t) be duplicated. You're a warrior who has identified his life's call to move on, to exchange battlefields. The same hill has been fought for over and over again. The grass grows thin, the mud thickens and slows your progress.

Good for you that you listen for that small, silent voice which imparts priceless instruction to each of us. Our loss of your voice, your presence here, is very real and will be felt very deeply for some time to come. I won't mourn your passing through the turnstile over which hangs a sign that reads Exit: Unk’s Wild Wild West, for that door serves as an entrance to another place. A door which leads you into the lives of others who require your help, your wisdom, your comfort, infinitely more than do we.

Go with Peace, my friend.

Thank you.

And if you happen to run across the answer to the Life, the Universe, and Everything, give us a shout would you?

-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), April 05, 2001.

Happy Trails to you Mr. Shock. While I’ve rarely agreed with your far- left views, you have always brought a balance to the debates on this forum. Like many of the participants on this forum, you have posted under different handles and I suspect that this will continue in the future. I hope it is so.

In your travels to educate the people in your neighborhood, I would suggest that encouraging them to be ‘better people’ should be the primary focus.

-- So (cr@t.es), April 05, 2001.

FS (Dude!)

Hate to see you go. Looks like this place is going to be changing somewhat with the new handles showing up recently. Some of them appear to be sitting way up in the cheap seats and no where near the playing field. I'm sure this will prove as amusing as 'the old days' were.

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), April 05, 2001.

Rich-

It's 47.

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), April 05, 2001.

Rational1(Socrates)

That is exactly my goal-to show people how they can better themselves. A little over 6 years ago I was jobless, homeless, and penniless, and because people urged me to become a better person I was raised from the pit of spiritual despair and given a new life. Today I am gainfully employed, risen through the ranks, have gotten married, and have a wonderful life overall. Thank God there was no discrimination at my job toward white men ; ). We have agreed to disagree many times, sometimes bitterly, but you have helped me, and your words to "better people" are apropos.

Rich:

Thank you for the kind words. You know where to get me. You might even expect a call soon. I want it to be known that the presence, the energy that was brought to the table here and at Bok's was not my own. A special synergy takes place when soul partners meet, and I believe that is what happened with Bok's Groks-Somehow we all get linked up throught this obscure internet forum and somehow had an effect on each others lives. I cannot take credit for that "presence"; indeed it was brought into focus by the cumulative energy.

Deano:

Thanks. The influx of folks with anon handles was part of this decision. To be honest, I never hung out at SLEZ, and while it is a drastic generalization that those folks are crazy right wing christian militants, many of them are, and if they show up here, well, I just did not look forward to it. Granted I have said that my opponents taught me more than my proponents, there comes a time when I must choose a different path; choose new friends, so to say. I am not interested in the playing level here tilting more to the far right. I think there is some balance here now, though I would say the board is more right than left. A slight differential leads to good discussions. If the seesaw tilts the other way, and more fractional points of view dominate, it just loses all the fun-At the point where most people are just mouthing what they here from Rush or the conservative press there is no debate-just the onrush of the vast majority.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 05, 2001.

We are all going to die

Be afraid, be very afraid

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

Z

You forgot: One smal step for man, one GIANT step for mankind...

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 05, 2001.

Also, I grabbed a new e-mail address as I realize there may be folks that do not have mine who want to stay in touch-lurkers and such. I can be reached at:

gray_matter2001@yahoo.com

-- FutureShock (gray_matter2001@yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

FS,

News Flash: This is real life. You ain't "goin'" anywhere.

That is all.

-- once an addict (always@an.addict), April 05, 2001.

FS,

I guess we all reach crossroads at various times in our lives and it appears you are approaching one of yours.I have enjoyed your thoughtful posts,questions and replies and have reflected on many of your posit's both political and spiritual.Thanks for contributing and sharing.

As a side note,I would encourage you to leave a stick in the door so that you may slip back in from time to time for entertainment purposes only or to share or ask one of those metaphysical ponderings or lighthearted musings.We'll keep the light on for ya.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), April 05, 2001.

FS,

Yes, we differ in opinion on so many issues, but I think we at one time got past all of that. I miss those days. I'm sorry If I did anything to push you away. It was certainly my loss. I will always care for you my friend. You have a wonderful caring heart and such a deep sense of spirituality, which I know is painful for you sometimes, but I see it as a gift bestowed. I wish you the best and will miss you around here. Be well...cin

-- (cin@cin.cin), April 05, 2001.

FS--

You have filled an interesting niche here with your combination of non-Christian spirituality and Liberal/Left politics. I will miss many of your thoughts, but not all. What cranked me at times was not your politics but the occasional tone of moral superiority. IMO, passion is good, but passion cum sanctimony is a turn-off. Preaching is a turn-off. I think your attempts at "education" might be compromised by either.

I have substance-abuse in my family. Not me personally but my Dad, brother-in-law and stepdaughter. Dad and Marty died from alscoholism, Greta seems to be in control (coke) altho she doesn't attend 12-step. I congratulate you on your on-going recovery and am confident that your success will continue. Addiction is a terrible, mysterious thing and it takes courage and humility to break free. Breaking the habit of this forum may be difficult too.

I make no prediction when I say this: don't be surprised if your politics change over the next 25 years, especially if you have children (and I wish that for you). Likewise, you may evolve evermore a la Gauche. All I am saying is that you are relatively young and life is nothing if not strange.

I will pass on you departure news to Oxy. She is back in ICU, I'm not sure why. Her friend James will keep me posted.

Good luck.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

Cin

Check your e-mail.

Lars:

Your point is well taken. I can definately be sanctimonious, and I know that is the very trait I abhor in others-but DAMN it felt good sometimes, just to emote and not care a whit wether or not I was serving to convert anybody. You have always been civil in your disagreements with me, and I appreciate that very much. It is one of those spiritual laws that whatever bothers us the most about other's behavior can usually be found somewhere within ourselves-that part of ourselves is usually repressed and unwelcome in our psyche-but it is there nonetheless.

So again, it is a point well taken that in my sanctimonious retorts to the sanctimonious I was exhibiting the behavior I was trying to denounce. C'est La Vie. It is an important lesson, though, I would like to leave here, that if I am judging somebody, it is something about myself I am judging. To put it another way, All of us will evetually exhibit the very behavior we have judged to be wrong-That is another thing I have discovered-it came to me full force when several years ago I found myself hiding cigarette smoking from my wife, the same way my father "hid" it from my mother.

CapnFun-

The door of willingness can become locked at times, but once you find the key it can always be opened again with another, deeper surrender...

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 05, 2001.

FS,

I’m so sorry to see you go and hope that you’ll yield to what I (in all selfishness) hope would be a desire to see us again from time to time – in spite of your well-meaning comments here.

FS, as you know lately we’ve gotten to disagreeing almost more often than I can shake a stick at; and there’s been tension -- maybe even some bitterness.

But, although some of the details are startin' to get a little hazy, I’ll never forget those first conversations we had, about a year ago or so. Long, winding, walks through philosophy, time and the universe. Like a coupla kids on a wooden porch out of the past somewhere, looking out -- really looking out for the first time -- across the fields and valleys on a summer’s day...eager to reach out - - to discover –- to understand.....

FS, I can't praise enough your passion for activism -- your really trying to go out there in the trenches and make a change -- make a real difference.

But, FS -- whatever you do, I hope you never lose track of that wonderful innocence that I saw in you and know continues to rest within you. And if you can still see it down there somewhere -- grab hold of it, carry it with you -- and never, ever let it go.

Love always,

Eve

-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

gag

-- (please@ leave too .eve), April 05, 2001.

Yo FS,

Many best wishes for you and your vow to forge ahead. I hope you have much success in life, and much happiness as well. I'm glad to have known you, this place will be the poorer for your leaving it, and that sucks.

All the best to you...good luck!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), April 05, 2001.

Geez Eve, now I'm even gettin misty. FS, you friggin sad sack, quit your friggin faking; you aren't going anywhere.

Okay, maybe you're still going to DC to pose as a sensitive goy for the radical fems, but you'll be back.

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), April 05, 2001.

FS:

Do not go gentle into that good night, Tax protesters should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though KoFE at his end knows dark is right, Because his words had forked no lightning he Does not go gentle into that good night.

Apologies to Dylan. FS you are limiting your horizons. Unless you do prison work, you won't meet any tax protesters. *<)))

KoFE, this was a joke.

Best Wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), April 05, 2001.

I did get it, Z; yuk, yuk.

-- KoFE (your@town.USSA), April 05, 2001.

Well, don't this suck! I finally get back here and start spendin' some quality time and one o' the posters I always read decides to poof hisself.

Tom, I've greatly enjoyed many of your posts, although since I'd been calling TB2K home til the latest shitstorm, I mostly just lurked here. I'll miss your thoughts. Be nice if'n ya pop back in every now and then and drop one on us.

Dan V.

-- Jimmy Splinters (jsplinters@earthlink.net), April 05, 2001.

I really don't see why anyone needs to discontinue participating here in order to do good deeds in the great outside world. Hell, if I can do it anyone can.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), April 05, 2001.

As someone up there hinted at, this place is RL, at least a part of it. Extricating yourself completely would be like throwing away a guitar you learned how to play because it wouldn't "lead" to anything, or giving up movies and sci-fi novels in order to spend more time with Literature, or resolving to never eat Oreos again.

What's the point in an Oreo-free life? Balance is the key. A true renaissance person should be able to play guitar while reading Foundation, watching Goodfellas, eating Oreos and giving some ditto-head a thrashing on Unk's WWW.

I think (hope) we'll se 'ya back after an extended vaca, FS.

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), April 05, 2001.

I wish you well FS. About a week ago you had a post stating that you truly want to help and that you want the best for this country. I don't doubt that for a second. I hope you can understand that while we disagree on politics and religon, we both want to help and want the best for this country. Hope to see you again around here some day.

-- Dr. Pibb (dr.pibb@zdnetonebox.com), April 05, 2001.

Will miss you. You can always post under a new name if you change your mind and come back. Good luck.

-- Take care (take@care.com), April 06, 2001.

FutureShock,

Dear Friend, I am of mixed feelings, as you can imagine. You know well that I only wish the very best for you. You have touched me deeply and often since last summer, as you well know, on many levels. The power of all our beings in Bok's Grok's is an experience that will live within me for a lifetime. You must know that I am a different person now, than if we had never met, joined in a common cause, and coming together for the purpose of good for another. You know within you that you have the power to do this again, IRL, in the arenas that you choose to influence. Your power of speech and debate for the betterment of others is a great gift indeed. It will serve you well in your future endeavors, as will your heart, which is great. Please know that should you ever need, either a voice or an ear, that I am here for you, both here and IRL. You need only reach out. You have my very best wishes for your future. Do not be a stranger. You are loved and appreciated more than you can know. I carry a piece of you within, always. May your new endeavors find you fulfilled, and challenged. While I cannot be with you come 4/22, know that I will be there in spirit, supporting you and the cause. It is a just one, IMO, and one that I have supported locally both vocally and financially. Women should have the right to decide what happens to their bodies, not just in terms of reproduction, but in every aspect, just as men do. It is so simple. That it is cause for debate by others has always puzzled me. May your journey enrich your spirit and bring you fulfillment of your desires to help mankind. It warms my heart to have known you. You know where to find me should y ou ever need. Bon Voyage Tom!

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), April 06, 2001.

Flint does good deeds in the outside world?

-- Pamela Sue (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), April 06, 2001.

I certainly understand what you're thinking, FS. This forum is good for a LOT of discussions, but I steer pretty clear of the political discussions, myself. There are other places where liberals go to share. It's still important to have an internet place where one can rant when no one is home and the IRL activities have, perhaps, provided a frustrating [or even particularly rewarding] experience.

I'll keep in touch.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), April 06, 2001.

You will occassionally lurk, but that will be it? You are going to march for women's rights on 4/22 and are not going to share your experiences with us? I, for one, speaking as a woman and your friend would ask you to reconsider. I can't be there but knowing you're there means alot. I was hoping to hear the truth about that march from you. One of the most important things you can do to help the lost souls of this world is to make others aware of their plight. This board is one of the best ways for you to do this. We know you here. Your word is trusted and your passions are respected. Whatever awareness you bring to us we, in turn, bring to others.

Why short circuit a perfectly good connection?

-- Debra (Thisis@it.com), April 06, 2001.

Thank you for encouraging me to think on the gray matter.

Fare thee well.

-- (bygrace@thru.faith), April 06, 2001.

Eve:

No bitterness on this end. You are a remarkable person in your own right, and an ideaolouge after my own heart. I tend to use sarcasm to illustrate my points, so if you took my opposition to the white man oppression theory to mean I was bitter, I apologize.

Last year was a treasure trove of enlightenment. Thoughts that I thought only I had about the universe, time, science, philosophy, spirituality, were being expressed on the board. My immediate circle of people thought I was a lunatic(maybe?) and could not go on the type of excursions to which you refer. I enjoy that mental masturbation, and the brain is a muscle which needs to be exercised- and I thank you for being one of my personal trainers-much of what you wrote, and much of what you linked to was tremendous-great exercise.

Theory without action is just another form of entertainment, and I must put what I believe into further practice. Bok's Groks was the output of a pervious phase of activity, and at that time there was a different flavor on the board-I feel it has changed. I may find that I am fooling myself and come running back to the board saying what an idiot I am (remember Anthony DeMello's "I'm an ass, your an ass"), but we shall see. The important thing was to advise everyone that I did not disappear or get murdered; Oxys "So you think my tractor's sexy" post, and then subsequently what happened to her taught me the responsibility I have to let everyone who has gotten to know me that I am moving on for now.

-- FutureShock (gray_matter2001@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

FS...Best of luck in all your pursuits.

-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), April 06, 2001.

You guys probably think I'm kidding abot moving on, but just wait and see. I'm really going to leave this time. Sure, go ahead and laugh; you'll see. I know I've said I was leaving before, but it's different this time. I've abbreviated my signature to show that I'll be spending less time here. I will be back to peek and see if anyone else was nice, but I won't be posting. Well alright, if I see something that gets my attention, who could blame me for jerking off in my head? Sure, like you don't know what that's like.

-- FS (gray@matter.think), April 06, 2001.

Hah-

It took leaving for someone to usurp my handle. Should I ever decide to come back, it will be under another handle. Those who know me, truly, will know if that happens.

To my imposter, I love you, too. If it were not for you, I would be less of a person today. In your being adverse, you have strengthened me, made my focus sharper. For that I thank you.

If you see my handle on any other thread, it is not me.

-- FutureShock (gray_matter2001@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

Jimmy Splinters:

I said hello to you on another thread recently. I had wondered where you ended up. It was good to see your handle/name again. I am sorry to disappoint, but I think you know the drill: H.A.L.T. The A and the T were in play here, and had to be addressed.

Debra/Bemused

You both make it very difficult, but I know that is only a sign of affection. Bemused, you called my number when mentioning renaissance man, as I have tried to be as much a one as possible-and life without oreos is a diet. And that is what I need right now, to release myself of some weight, and the tenor of the board of late has been too weighty. I can only spend so much time being aggravated-I was getting much too upset.

If I could trust my discipline to stick to non-combative threads only, maybe I could stay awhile. I am much too excitable and passionate, however, to let predjudice, hypocrisy, and plain idiocy go unchecked-that is just my nature. So indeed this is a bit of throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I will be more than happy to give a report regarding the march.

I leave with an actual e-mail address for those who really want to remain in touch. I answer all e-mails.

Kofe:

One less person to argue with, right? You have been an interesting opponent. Before I go, is there anything on which we have ever agreed? Let me know.

Thank you peg and unk for your posts.

By grace and Aunt Bee

I will send you e-mails before the end of the day.

-- FutureShock (gray_matter2001@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

My personal favorite threads:

The Coke or Pepsi Thread

http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=0036ij

Truman Show

http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=0036vo

Concept of Time, Part 1

http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=002wj0

Concept of time, Part 2

http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=002y8v

-- FutureShock (gray_matter2001@yahoo.com), April 06, 2001.

I hear ya, FS. #1 priority. Keep it green, my friend. I'll prolly be lurkin' here the majority of the time, yes, a hopeless addict but hey, I'd rather do this than watch TeeVee! ;-) So, if ya decide to pop back in under an alias (like Iona), I'll "see" you then.

Dan V.

-- Jimmy Splinters (jsplinters@earthlink.net), April 06, 2001.

LMAO FS on that coke or pepse thread. Who woulda thunk hawk could be worried about the dangers of aspartame. LOLOLOL

-- (cin@cin.cin), April 06, 2001.

Good riddance you fuckin' homo "syd barrett" et. al. Take someone else with you. BTW,

Fuck you

-- one (who@remembers.com), April 07, 2001.

Lurking and posting over here? http://www.hbchat.com/Pages/gbook.html

-- (we saw@it.too), April 07, 2001.

Thanks for the ref. Now that they're debating passwords and such, let's hope they don't kill the place. It's been pretty cool. link

-- (anyone@here.com), April 07, 2001.

One Who:

I appreciate your kind remarks. Your emotions speak volumes about the effect I had on your life. I am glad that I somehow got under your skin; at the least it helped you to sharpen your definitions and your belief system. By being a target for you, by being someone you love to hate, I have brought you a wonderful gift.

It is a shame that you would prefer to live in a vanilla world, where everyone marches in lockstep to your personal belief system. You will find that the more monochrome this board becomes, the less benefit will accrue to you.

There is no growth, no personal developement, in hanging around people who agree with you. It just becomes one big circle jerk, and your minds cloze with a resounding thud. I wish you better and more things than that.

Best wishes for you in your life, and may you get everything that you hope and wish for.

Peace to you, One who remembers.

-- FutureShock (gray-Matter2001@yahoo.com), April 07, 2001.

Don't back down from these bigots FS. Stay here and use fake names to give the rightwing idiots a taste of their own medicine. We can easily give them more shit in 4 years of Dumbya than they did in 8 years of Clinton. It's easy with Dumbya because he doesn't care about our country or the people. With Clinton, they had to make up lies about him.

-- (Repugnants @ hate. mirrors), April 07, 2001.

FS

Sorry it took so long to say 'goodbye', so I shall say aloha.

I will miss you. I've not been round much myself lately, so I hope you do get the chance to see this one.

Love ya baby.

sumer, aka, carrie

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), April 11, 2001.

FutureShock, I'll stop posting Bush threads if you will stay! Well...so many of them then. I'm going to miss you. Cheers

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), April 12, 2001.