I have had to deal with every type of abuse by my wife until finally I called the police. I also obtained a protection order against her. I even received counseling from a Dr. as to how to deal with her violence. With all of the evidence I have on her abuse, she is now being reprsented by the Wyoming Coalition against Domestic Violence. It is funded by the VAWO in Washington. I can't believe that because she is a female, the truth doesn't matter. I am really confused but would like to make this matter right. Thanks for your thoughts.

Dennis

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2001

Answers

It happens a lot, Dennis. Please consider joining safe-support and sharing what's going on with you there. People on the list have been through similar things.

http://www.safe4all.org

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2001

Dennis. stick with it. It wont be easy but the truth never changes, and thats on your side. Study the laws for your state, regarding domestic violence. And your due process rights. They like to forget about your rights ( the police , state and judges) Make notes, do your home work. Its a uphill battle but your not just fighting for your reputation but for 1000s of other who also are going through the same thing. Document every thing,letters, med records, police reports. send copies to the court and have put in the court files. Contact the police and 911 for all records and incedent reports. Ask for copies of audio tapes from 911. Go to the local law library look for cases that support your clams. get noterized statements from all witness and check with the police dept. for their rules , policies, procedures. Check to see if they are an acredited agency with standards to follow. In most cases the police cant be troubled to investigate, so they just arrest without questioning. Also know the laws regarding questioning your wife and attacking her character. Look into her past, old boyfriends, drug use, arrests, mental illness. Dont hold back , beleive me the VAWO wont. best of luck Michael

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2001

Dear Dennis, I am going thru the same thing right now. The truth matters. The truth always matters. There is a reason why states build prisons for women. Women are obliged to obey the law. The state is obligated to protect any victim of violence. Never ever show hubris or self righteous behavior to the authorities. Prove to the authorities that you accuser lied -- even small insignificant lies will trouble the authorities about their witness. Find an approach that you believe in: Write letters of complaint to Wyoming c a d v. Hire a lawyer. Call multiple lawyers and ask their advice. File a complaint with the State Attorney Generals Office against Wyoming cadv. You are right -- the system is slanted unfairly against any accused person. Write down every memory you have of every little thing this person did . Even if it seems minor, this will help you get perspective, and can be very powerful if you ever get the chance to confront your abuser. Only take what advice you believe is right for you. Others will tell you never fight City Hall or the Police so proceed with calm resolution. You are not the first and you are not alone.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001

I too share your pain..I'm currently being charged with criminal stalking, by a woman I last dated in 1994.She claims that I stalk her daily, by bicycle, even though I moved 40 miles away from her.I went to court, with an attorney, and even though we could refute her claims, she was given her order. We are apealling the decisions, I've solicited letters from people who knew the two of us and we've also gotten a reluctant admission, from her ex-husband, that she has done this before.I have never been more stressed in my life, I have run up some hefty legal fees, and there is no assurance that this order will be removed.All I can say is fight if you are right...good luck

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2001