I want one!

Beer-swilling parrot faces pub ban

A pub's pet parrot which thinks it is one of the regulars is faced with being banned for unruly behaviour. Lee Jones, landlord of the Penrhys Inn, Rhondda, south Wales, is considering barring him from public areas because his antics have become so bad.

He says the bird called Captain has taken to copying the behaviour of regulars - drinking from pints, taking cigarettes from packets on the bar, and even swearing.

The worst thing is his wolf-whistling - women hear a loud whistle when they walk in and they think it's me

Pub landlord Lee Jones

And, whenever a female customer walks into the pub she gets a loud wolf-whistle.

But Mr Jones says he has run out of patience with Captain's behaviour.

"We bought Captain as a novelty but he is a right rascal and we can't trust him anymore," said Mr Jones.

"To start with it was good fun to see him swoop onto a customer's shoulder to get a free drink.

Swear words

"But he's got a taste for beer now and he's always got a cigarette in his mouth although he's not learned to light them yet.

"He has picked up some swear words and uses them to heckle the men playing pool."

Mr Jones added: "But the worst thing is his wolf-whistling - women hear a loud whistle when they walk in and they think it's me."

His daughter Samantha, 17, said: "Captain is a typical bloke. You can tell when he's been drinking because he doesn't get up until midday."

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2001

Answers

We know all about it.My grandfather brought back an African Grey from Rhodesia in 1934.The bird died in 1984.It too had a piercing wolf whistle but most of its calls were learnt in the 1940's.Itlearnt to imitate the whistling bombs than fell on London during World War 2 and the sound of the horses delivering milk.It was still trying to whistle the bombs back up again and yelling "Milko" in the '80's.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2001

We had a Mitred Conure a few years back, that loved to drink beer. Couple of times, he had a snootfull, and would stagger around like a drunken sailor. Had him trained to go back to his "play-perch" to do his poops, when he was out playing with us.

He did "dead bird" (layed on his back w/feet up in air), had a vocabulary of a couple dozen words... his favorite was "Oh, SHIT!" At the top his lungs. Funny lil' guy.

After he reached "sexual maturity", he got mean as all get out, so he ended up going to live with our "birdsitter" where he could have a girl-friend.

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2001

My first wife had a parrot when her and I first got together, don't recall what kind it was. We acquired a couple of cats, and as they got older, they would try and find ways to get high enough to make a jump at the cage....

Of course, everytime Cheri caught them, she'd scream "F***ing Cats!" and chase them outside.... needless to say, the parrot caught on real quick, and one morning I was in the bathroom shaving and heard "F***ing Cats! F***ing Cats!!"

Poor cats got to the point they wouldn't go in the same room as the parrot :) We eventually gave him to some friends that didn't have cats....

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2001