Nanaba Man

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Now that Mook is double national champion, he has no doubt spent the last few days reaping the benefits of his wins--yes, I mean the new found fame, glory, money and endorsement deals, and throngs of lovely O-groupies. But soon he will have to acknowledge new responsibilities as well. It's little known but a fact that USOF asks its M21 champions to take on various community service duties, such as doing a public service spot like those you see airing on NBC, or leading up 100,000 pint blood drive, or starting a foundation for slower and less skilled runners, as several examples. Mook probably doesn't know about any of this yet, but he will soon.

My suggestion is that Mook become Nanaba Man! What this will mean is that he will don a large, yellow, condom-like plastic sheath and go around espousing a cause. I know this suggestion could shock and horrify some OKers. Not because of the idea of Mook inside a giant device resembling a yellow condom, but because of concerns about him possibly becoming trapped in there and not being able to breath. How would he be able to anchor an OK relay team like that??!?

Not to worry! There will be cleverly disguised breathing slits in the walls of the Nanaba sheath. (A more troubling concern is how Mook might handle the Tucson heat inside that thing, especially since scientists haven't arrived at an answer yet.)

Anyway, as Nanaba Man, Mook will visit hundreds or even thousands of elementary schools advocating safe sex. No!!! Of course, not, I'm just joking about that. What he'll actually be endorsing is the idea of everyone eating more bananas, which everyone knows is the #1 fruit of orienteers. By doing this, he'll not only be improving the nutrition and diet of the nation's youth, but he'll also be improving the lot of Columbian peasants, who otherwise would have little recourse to go on raising coca leaves and coffee beans. An exemplary stance and a role in which Mook would surely shine and gleam(somewhat yellowishly), setting the type of example that most of us could only dream about!

-- Swampfox (wmikell@earthlink.net), March 21, 2001


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