Do you get along with your coworkers? Are you friends with them? How much socializing do you do with them? Or do you think that it's sensible to remain on a strictly professional level?

Are some fields more conducive to coworker friendships? Are there jobs where there's no way employees can enjoy each other's company?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

Answers

The job I have now is the first one where I haven't become close friends with my co workers. But because they are all scientists, and I'm not, it's hard to find common ground sometimes. They are all wonderful to work with, though, so I can't complain.

I've never had a problem socializing with my co workers, and actually prefer a closer knit environment. It seems to me that the smaller a company is, the closer everyone grows to one another. There are more spats and politics, but I think the benefits outnumber the drawbacks. I'm just not the kind of person who can keep things all professional-I'm more of a tell dirty jokes on smoke breaks kind of girl. And when I was going through my divorce, the small company I worked for could not have been more supportive. They hugged me, cried with me, promoted me, and helped me move. It made all the difference.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

I have met some of the coolest people at work that became friends and are still friends. I have met people that were great to work with, but I have had no relationship outside work... and I have also met/worked with people I disliked - backstabbers, slackers, cheaters. Now I just want to "survive" - do my job, be treated professionally, treat others well and IF something good comes of it, just a great bonus. ---

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I always try to get along with my co-workers. Some jobs make socializing easy. Like last summer when I was a temp at the local factory. We were supposed to check auto parts for cracks and stuff; we would go through three or four bins of 2-3000 parts per night. Our job was fairly important because the people who ran the machines usually did a crappy job. The company was losing clients because of their shoddy work. So it was easy to make conversation with other co- workers when the work was as simple and tedious as checking parts for obvious mistakes. During breaktimes we would have water fights with our water bottles--I always came home soaked--and on my last night I was snapping photos of everyone. It was so cool; someone brought in a cake for me to wish me good luck and all. People were always bringing food for everyone to eat. It was all good. Too bad the factory is shutting down.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I've been lucky to work at a fabulous place with fabulous people of similar interests...so I get along great with them and even hang out with them sometimes after work...but they ain't my best friends or anything.....

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I got along with all my co-workers, but i never hung out with any of them. They were all 30-40 yrs older than me, so hanging out wasn't exactly fun. Although i did go antiquing with the receptionist once.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

How timely! Right now I get along with my coworkers but I have no intention of becoming friends with them. Our managers are in the process of bringing in a woman whom has slept with a number of men in our department so some of us have sort of gotten closer because we've been trying to figure out how to stop this. Fortunately, I'm a temp and I'll be leaving soon but I've been debating on whether to tell the company I work for about this or maybe go to the local paper or news radio station. The office I work in is a state run office.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I love people. I almost always get along with my co-workers. The thing is that I hold a lot of ideas and opinions that are not shared by the masses so I rarely become friends outside of work with co- workers.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

Actually, one of my closest friends (Maria) works with me, and we've both become good friends with a group of other girls in the office, all of whom are in their 20's (like us). There are some girls here who are paranoid psychopaths, but we ignore them to the best of our ability. We've done a Girl's Night with them about a month ago, and I can't remember the last time I had that much fun. We thought we were rock stars, and partied until 5am. Maria's even got pictures to blackmail us with. I think we're lucky to have found some cool chicks to hang with.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I've worked at the same company for almost seven years now. I've been in one department for that whole time and I have a number of friends who also have been working in this department for five or more years. Many of us are great friends and we hang out sometimes or go to shows together or dinner or whatever. The odd thing about the situation is that we are IT professionals working for a software company in arguably the third-hottest high-tech market in the country and staying at one company more than two years is absolutely unheard of. But it's a unique place and the feeling among our group is similar to family. As the company has grown, that feeling has diminished a little, but it's still there. I met my best friend, besides my wife, at this company.

Having said all that, I'd also say, Gwen, that it's sensible to remain strictly professional and to leave work life at work. I think if I was starting over again at a brand new company, that's absolutely how I'd be. Maybe a little after-work cocktails sort of thing, maybe sharing vacation stories and snapshots, etc., but no socializing beyond that. But so long as I'm here and I'm happy, I'm going to enjoy the special situation I've got.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I always make friends with women my husband works with. He always works in departments that have a lot of women and if he thinks I would like to hang out with one of them he'll tell the woman about me and he'll tell me about her, and then we'll end up calling each other to go to a movie or go shopping or whatever. My closest friend in this town is an ex-coworker of my husband's.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I love my coworkers. Too much, in fact as they happen to be the refrigerator, the pantry, and my computer.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

I like my co-workers, but I don't always accept invites to go out for long lunches nor do I hang in the halls chatting with them as often as I could. Since we just had massive lay-offs and I survived and also got promoted to supporting the Big Kahuna, and since he sent out an e-mail yelling at everyone for those very things, I suppose I'm not so much anti-social as self-preserving.

But after-hours drinks on Friday, if I don't have other plans already? Fun!

I think the most "social" jobs I ever had were in the food service industry. You're all up late at night when most things are closed, you bond over funny or aggravating customers, you probably have similar interests as restaurants tend to hire "types" as staff for consistency, so it isn't bizarre that you might go out dancing or decide to get a late-night meal with your restaurant co-workers or do things together during the afternoons on your mutual days off.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2001