Do you get lonely?

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Well, do you?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

Answers

What? Am I ever lonely? How could I ever expose such a personal "secret" to the whole wide world on the internet? Yes, yes it's true. I confess. I'm guilty. I do get lonely, and I don't like it when I feel that way. I'll tell you another dark secret. T.S. Eliot wrote "The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" for me and me alone.

See, here I am all by myself.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


Let me clarify: I have had two friends recently tell me that they don't know what people are talking about when they say they're lonely. These are not automatons; they're real people who sincerely expressed that they do not remember ever feeling lonely. They said that their days are pretty much filled with the things that they want, and they are happy with the people in their lives.

So, I was wondering how many other people feel that way.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


I don't think I get lonely but I do miss my special someone if we apart too long! I have noone to beat on!

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

Who isn't?

You know, I really can't stand the way Doug Coupland writes most of the time, but, damn!, he sure can write about loneliness. Anyone?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


Tyler, you can beat your meat if you get lonely.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


Nicole, that only helps for about 30 seconds. Then I spend another 20 - 30 minutes looking for my special someone. Then I repeat the cycle.

Now you may be saying, "30 seconds, wow that's quick. No wonder that special someone isn't hanging around!" But remember, it's not premature if you mean it!!!

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


That's funniest thing I've read all day.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

Tyler, your Special Someone is lucky to have you! You've got the stamina I'm looking for in a man.

My Grandma needs constant human companionship. She's always had a husband or boyfriend. Her current husband (NOT my grandpa!) is a complete dolt, and she yells at him all the time. I think she's happier yelling than being alone. She gets lonely and depressed.

I don't get lonely when I'm alone. There's too much going on inside my head for that.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


Keli and Erika, thanks to you both.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

You know, I really can't stand the way Doug Coupland writes most of the time, but, damn!, he sure can write about loneliness. Anyone?

The only Doug Coupland I read was "Generation X", and that was a long time ago. I remember an interesting story in that novel about an heiress who dies on loneliness. IMHO, the loneliness wasn't all that interesting since loneliness is so universal. But in that story, he used the word Monongahela (A river in Pennsylvania). Nice word, very lyrical.

Doug Coupland was pre-internet. Sars is the "Doug Coupland" in the internet age, and Gwen is the Grandma Moses.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001



"The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" Love it. Cry Cry Cry when the AIG commercial comes on with the astronauts and the poem...it sounds like Linda Hunt is reading it.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

I wish I could be lonely at times. I never have a moment to myself.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

One of my favorite country songs is "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry". By Hank Williams circa 1948.

You know it. It's a simple country waltz.

"Have you seen that lonesome whippoorwill, he sounds too blue to fly........." "That midnight train is whinning low........"

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


question is, am i ever NOT lonely?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

Never ever ever do I get lonely. In fact, I get kind of claustrophobic and grouchy if I do NOT have some serious time alone. I sometimes miss people, but am never lonely. -

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001


I get lonely. That's what arts & crafts are for, though, right?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

EXTREMELY STRANGE COINCIDENCE - Joseph, in commenting on my Doug Coupland comment you mentioned the Monogahela river, which I live about 100 yards from. That's the coincidence, I guess.

Read Life without God. Its the only Dougie C. worth the time.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


After finishing university in my early 20s, I went through a long period of time in which I never felt lonely or depressed which was a huge switch for me. I had begun my career and I was living with my now husband. When I heard about depressed or lonely people I thought, why don't they get over it or grow out of it, because I thought that I had. However, all I was doing was denying those feelings because I didn't think I was supposed to have them, plus I had buried some issues really deeply for a long time because it was easier than confronting them. Finally, something happened to me and I was no longer able to bury my feelings/issues. I had to confront and examine everything whether I liked it or not. I realized that you can't and shouldn't "grow out of" lonliness or bouts of mild depression. Those things are part of life and being adult means accepting that you feel like that occasionally and you have to accept it and try to work through it. Denying them just causes more trouble.

So, I think it's important to realize that we all feel lonely or down now and then, and it's not the end of the world, it's just life. However, if it ever does start feeling like it's the end of the world, it's important to seek help. Also, it's not a bad thing to seek help to learn how to deal with the little ups and downs, if you haven't learned how to cope on your own.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


That is a coincidence Jane.

I just like that word. (Monongahela). It sings.

Lets see. There are the "Banks of the Ohio" and "Allegheny Moon"; but no songs that I know of with Monongahela. It seems like there's a song in there somewhere.

I will check out "Life After God". Good luck out there in western PA.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


Do you ever discuss something or read a discussion of something for so long that you start to question your definition of it?

I've been reading these thinking, "I don't get lonely ever." But now I'm not so sure.

Anyway, what do we mean by lonely here? When I think of lonely I think of when you feel bad because there isn't someone that you can talk to or relate to nearby. By that definition, I don't ever feel lonely. I can always call someone or email someone or jump on a forum. I've also been trying to think of the last time that I was physically alone. Besides my commute, I'm almost never alone.

Maggie wrote, “So, I think it's important to realize that we all feel lonely or down now and then, and it's not the end of the world, it's just life.” My first response to this was “That’s not true. I don’t feel lonely.” But because I like to try and be open-minded I tried to think of what she must mean by that. Maybe I do feel lonely and I just call it something different or I don’t realize it.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


Off post>>SweetJane..is it burning? :) I do pine for Cleveland sometimes..it had fun stuff to do

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

Actually, I'm in Pittsburgh. But there IS something so (I hate this word) bittersweet about Cleveland. I mean, at least we've razed all of our shut-down steel mills so that we are not reminded of our failures constantly.

The outskirts of Cleveland really remind me of where I come from, not birth-wise, but ancestry-wise.

Sorry to get off topic....

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


There were times in college when I felt lonely. I haven't felt lonely in a long, long time. But there are times when I wish I would, just for a day, because it makes being with friends so much sweeter by comparison. But that never happens. :-\

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

Travis, maybe you could substitute "loneliness" with "ennui" or "discontent," if either of those work for you. For me, I seldom feel physically lonely, but at times, I do feel a little "alone in the world" in the sense that it seems like nobody thinks the way I do. It helps me to realize that no one has a perfect life and chances are there's someone else in the world with bigger problems than mine.

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001

Cleveland STILL has alot to do. It is dreadful in wintertime tho.

Cold. I believe we all get lonely, the fortunate part for me is that being lonely does not occur often enough :-)

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001


I like being alone, but I get the mean lonely blues when The Husband- Type Man is out of town. And since all of my friends live in other cities, it's not as easy to scare up some company to go raid the toy department sales at Target or try that groovy-looking Thai restaurant.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2001

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