I confess, I love weird old sayings and obscure cliches. That Philip drunk one is apparently not all that obscure, but I'd never heard it before, and I like it. Can you think of any similar examples?

I also love weird, colorful speech, especially local dialects and sayings. I remember a friend of my father's, who was from Texas, I think, and once told me this: "Your daddy's so proud of you, when he talks about you he just swells up like a dead pig in the sun." Now that's a visual.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

Answers

Perfect timing, Beth. I'm reading On the Road and at the very beginning, when Jack's first met Dean/Neal, they stay up all night talking drinking and "pulling each other's wrists." Ideas, anyone? Otherwise I'm going to write to the UConn prof who introduced this volume and ask wtf, except more politely.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

I have an aunt who always says, "cry at the drop of a glass hat". One time I tried to tell her it was really 'cry at the drop of a hat', but she said, quite understandably of course, "Why the hell would anyone cry over that??"

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

To "pull wrists" is to shoot heroin. Called that, because you tie off your arm to make the vein stick out. "On the Road," is the best book ever. I'm in love with Dean/Neal.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

I was in a car accident recently and have been given the runaround by both insurance companies involved. I called my dad to whine about it, being the mature, composed woman that I am, and he said, "Well, honey, that's life in the big city." (Which is favorite thing to say when I whine.) Then he told me I need to be more aggressive: "You need to sit on that insurance adjustor like a horsefly on the ass of a palomino."

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

"independent as a hog on ice"

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

A rude person in the south is "showing their ass".

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

"His brain is so small it rolls around in his skull like a BB in a ten gallon drum."
"That room is so small you couldn't cuss out a cat without getting hair in your mouth."
"What's cat fur?" "Cat's fur to make kitten britches." --I have no earthly idea what this means. My mother used to say it.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

From a mother to her daughter: "Don't you drink no more of that soda - you'll be pissin' over the moon!"

From my psych professor, a man from the deep South: "Pretty soon, he was doin' the green apple two-step" (i.e., holy shit, the diarrhea's gonna fly!)

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

Keli, that's a southern thing? I had no idea. I know you can be "drunk as Cooter Brown" here. And it's very important to know the difference between the words Slam and Slap: a turkey in the oven too long will burn slam up, but if you sneak up behind someone, you scare them slap to death. A very important distinction. God, there are a million of them. And yes, I love to use them whenever possible. My friend J was hotter'n a two-peckered billy goat yesterday. Heh. And finally (for now, anyway), if a room's too small, you could cuss a cat and get hair in your mouth, yo. Yeah, they don't really put that "yo" in there.

Oh, any of you not from the south, is "sitting bitch" (i.e., in the middle of a bench seat in a pickup truck, as opposed to sitting in the bitch seat on the back of a motorcycle) a southern thing? Because I truly love to offer to let people sit bitch in mine. Cracks me up every time.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

As busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

"I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"

"I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth"

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose....." .......uh....sorry.. ;)

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Guppy, I thought it was a southern thing, since I've only heard it used by southerners.

I'm also fond of the phrase, "Go shit in your hat." but I don't know where to attribute that.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

and I just remembered my husband likes to say "slicker than bear grease.."

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Keli, I only know the variation, "Well, shit in my hat!", which is used like, "Well, I'll be damned!"

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

"Go shit in your hat," from what I've experienced, means the person has no clue about what they're saying.

Someone I know enjoys saying, "There's nothin' like a cold stick of butter on a hot summer day."

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001

Someone leaving the premises in a hurry: "He shot out of here like 40 going north!"

On reuniting with an old friend: "I haven't seen you since Hector was a pup!" or "I haven't seen you since Billy was in the army!"

And I believe the full expression of the phrase is, "There's more than one way to skin a cat without getting hair in your teeth."

-- Anonymous, March 15, 2001

My favorite, favorite curse is something I read in a book of folktales when I was a kid. "May you grow like an onion with your head in the ground." For some reason that just cracks me up and I use it all the time when someone annoys me.

-- Anonymous, March 15, 2001

I'm from Ontario (Trawna) and we use the phrase 'sit bitch' all the time. Well, not precisely, but more along the lines of "Shotgun!" "Not Bitch!" "Not Bitch!" and then the remaining person turns to the driver, who smiles and says, "Driver!". The person left over sits on the hump in the back seat.

-- Anonymous, March 16, 2001

"There's more than one way to skin a cat without getting hair in your teeth."

That's a good entry for the cat food slogans. "Bitch seat" also describes the mandatory empty seat left between two male friends at the movies. (among unenlighented homophobic cads it is also referred to in a politically incorrect manner relating to same gender sexual preference.)

Hornier than a brass band. Whimpier than a first chair male piccolo player with a combover. Uglier than a Pontiac Aztek. (I made the last one up. Those things are hideous.) I can't think of any picturesque phrases without "_____er than a" in them. I know, it's kinda sad. Sadder than an eight year old looking at old family pictures after a divorce.

-- Anonymous, March 16, 2001

On those boiling August days in Arkansas, Grandpa used to say "It's hotter'n a boiled owl."

Also have heard, just as an exclamation, "Well for crying in a bucket!"

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Oh, I'd forgotten about this thread! I heard a great exchange a few weeks ago:

My friend Iggy walked into the bar two doors down the street from his work on a particularly hot day, and commented on the weather to the bartender.

"Yup, it's hotter than two weasels fucking in a sock," she said.

As soon as he was able to stop laughing, he replied with: "Yeah, I'm sweating like a whore in church."

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

From my father, anytime you complained about anything ever, "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye." This logic is hard to refute.

From my mother, basically when we were wrestling around and wanted to tickle her or pull her nose or blow on her neck or anything else we said we were going to do with the express purpose of irritating/bugging her: "You feelin' froggy? Then leap!" The only other time I ever heard this was in the TV movie Breast Men.

Also from my mother, if she says she's going to do something and you express doubt that she will, she responds, "Hide in the bushes and watch!"

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2001

Last night, in a bar, a guy said something nice to me. Because I am utterly unable to take a compliment, and also because he was a random stranger, I waved it away with some silly joke. He leaned forward and very earnestly said to me, "Now look. I'm not just blowin' glory up your ass, here."

Which is always good to know.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2001

Funny line, jen -- but it sounds like maybe he'd been in that bar a while.

A recent favorite: A colleague told me about a disagreement he had with the boss that escalated until the boss "ran up my ass and exploded."

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2001

Which is always good to know.

Yeah, especially if you watch Buffy. Ouch.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2001

'course he had, Alleline. It was why he was going on about my mouth in the first place.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2001