The trial of Leeds United footballer Lee Bowyer was briefly adjourned on Tuesday for the star to change his trousers after he admitted he was not wearing any underpants in court.

Bowyer, 24, was asked by the defence to get changed into the trousers and shoes he claims he wore on the night of the alleged attack on Asian student Sarfraz Najeib outside the Majestyk nightclub in Leeds.

The prosecution claims the shoes the footballer was shown wearing on a video had a large ornamental buckle on and were not the ones handed to police as evidence after the incident in January last year.

But defence barrister Desmond de Silva, QC, said he wanted him to change into the garments to prove that the buckle was in fact a patch of the star's skin, visible to the camera, because Bowyer never wore socks.

Before asking him to change into the trousers, Mr de Silva asked Bowyer: ``Are you wearing underpants?''

Bowyer smiled, appeared embarrassed and glanced to the back of the public gallery before replying: ``No, I'm not, no.''

Mr de Silva then asked him to leave court to change into the trousers and shoes.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

Answers

Of course, if he'd been asked whether he was wearing his girlfriend's thong, the answer would have been 'yes'.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

No socks, no undies. Class act.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

tart

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

ROTFLMAO!!

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

Blimey, the old ones are still the best ones. There's nothing like plagiarism provided you don't acknowledge your sources.

Private Eye cover circa 1968, the trial of John and Yoko.

From memory, the other speech bubble directed at the naked Yoko claimed that "according to your t*its baby, it's half past six". Always a favourite in our household.

JL RIP.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2001