My Great Dane finally murdered the papasan chair that used to be his bed about a month ago. My beloved hauled it to the curb, and the dog took to sleeping in the dirty clothes pile in the corner of the bathroom, or on the floor on my side of the bed.

We went out a couple of weeks ago and got the dog a new bed. Beds for dogs are large as a Great Dane do not come cheap, especially when you get the super deluxe sized, with the cover that unzips so you can wash it and is lined in soft, fuzzy sheep stuff. It's a beautiful bed. I wish that it were my bed. Zubie, on the other hand, is not impressed.

Zubie is STILL sleeping in the bathroom. We've tried everything to get him in this damn bed. I've rolled in it so that it smells like me. We've put food in it, we've forced him into the damn thing and held him there. When we let go, he just flees for his pile of dirty clothes on the cold, hard bathroom floor. He's scared of the dog bed. If he has to walk past it, he looks at it in terror and gives it a 3 foot berth.

Does anyone have any ideas about how I can get this stupid dog to sleep in his stupid, expensive dog bed?

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

Answers

Put the bed in the bathroom on the floor. Pile all the dirty clothes your pup like so much on top of the bed. Then slowly remove the clothes so eventually Zubie is sleeping on the actual bed. then slowly move the bed out of the bathroom and down the hall and wherever you want it.

Good luck.

PS - Did you hear "This American Life" on NPR this weekend? David Sederas (sp?) does a very, very funny bit on his life with big dogs.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

Babs, you're a genius! If that solution were a snake, it woulda bitten me on the ass! Thanks so much.

I didn't get a chance to listen to the radio at all over the weekend, but I would've liked to have heard that. We big dog "parents" certainly have a lot of empathy for each other, so I'm sure that I could have totally related to it.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

NPR keeps all their shows archived on their website - by story. Very, very nice. Might bop over and try to dig up the story... I tried, but I don't think I had enough information...

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

The David Sedaris piece was really funny - but it was on This American Life, from PRI. I heard it on Friday night. The show's URL is http://www.thislife.org/ but it has so many freakin graphics I can't wait for it to load. (What are the damn designers thinking when they do that?)

Anyway, hope you get your dog to try the new bed. They are skittish about the wierdest things. My dog is a lab and anything I get for her which involves stuffing must be disembowled immediately. She sleeps on the rattiest looking little shred of a dog bed - it's pathetic. (I lie - she sleeps on my bed....joke's on me.)

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2001

Our dog, Deeohgee, (yeah, that's D O G for dog, but I spell it out so it doesn't look as dumb as it sounds) (no, I didn't name her)... sleeps with her head under the bed. Or chair. The rest of her sticks out in the way, usually right in the spot where you need to step. She sleeps like this under/next to our bed and I cannot tell you how many nights I've gotten up only to land on her stomach because she switched sides in the middle of the night. There's plenty of room down toward the foot of the bed, but no, she likes to stick her head under the bed right next to where I'm sleeping. Or where Carl's sleeping, but he's heavier, so I think the fact that he's landed on her a few times at night has made my side her favorite side. (Black dog at night. Can't see her at all.)

It's weird, because she started off only doing this at night but now she does it in the day time as well. If she's in the living room, her head has to be under a chair. It looks so strange, since all you can see is the body. Creeps me out, but otherwise, she's the sweetest, most loving pet I've ever had and I adore her. Even if she is a bizzaro ostrich dog.

-- Anonymous, March 15, 2001