How many here feel intimidated by other people you perceive to be better or have more power? Are you afraid in public to speak out about whatever? Why? Do any of those people pay you a salary? If they don't then why do you give them power over you? James

-- Anonymous, March 10, 2001

Answers

I used to be pretty intimidated about speaking my mind in front of my profs and/or employers. Then I figured out that a lot of these folks will respect you if you have views of your own, and if they don't, well, @#$% them. The real trick is to distinguish the assholes from the people who deserve your respect. I've had a few bosses who were 'my way or the highway' types and the only real way around them was to tow the party line, or appear to; sometimes life's just easier that way (plus, you don't risk reprimand or dismissal).

-- Anonymous, March 10, 2001

Since I often have to ask people in positions of power embarassing questions, I've developed the hide of a rhino. And I've learned something...if they jump off topic and go to the personal, they're losers and generally cowards.

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

I've gotten better about some things, but, despite my on-line persona as an opinionated turbo-bitch (feel free to elaborate), I'm terribly squishy. I wound easily. I have trouble vocalizing a dissenting opinion, especially if the majority is strong/well-spoken. I am easily intimidated by people I feel aren't necessarily "better" or "more powerful"... but *smarter*... and especially if they're people who I respect intellectually.

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

You're being a little hard on yourself, aren't you? Persnickety? Well, yeah. Something of a perfectionist? Maybe. What are you teaching at your new job?

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

I'm not intimidated, I just look for ways to learn, ways to get better. If I think someone's great and/or powerful, I'm not going to be scared, but I am going to want to see what the whole situation can tell me about life.

Afraid in public to speak out? Not really. Whenever I am in a public forum and have a dissenting opinion, I just choose carefully whether or not to divulge it, based on whether I think I have time enough for a lengthy argument, whether the other side is going to argue fairly and from reason, not emotion, and whether I give a shit about the topic enough to even get started. If it gets personal or off-topic, I just drop out and not bother to call anybody names.

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

uh, Paul...can I borrow your forebearance when you're not using it?

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

Believe me, Bubba, if I could easily just hand over excess forbearance to you on a platter, I would. :-)

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2001

Oh, yeah, I get all idiotic in the presence of people I think are truly fabulous. So when they're super nice and trying to be friendly I can't act like I have any native intelligence at all.

But, when people assume they are superior, I have no problem speaking up for myself. I used to be afraid of public speaking, but I've gotten over it.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

I don't really get intimidated, no, but like Mary Ellen said, if I'm in the presence of someone I think is fabu, I become a blithering idiot. After the Nagano Olympics, members of the Canadian Women's Hockey team were signing autographs for charity, and I went to shoot it for school (second year journalism) I could not form a sentence to save my life when it came time to talk. I was a complete maroon. When we left, I asked my husband, "If I'm this stupid NOW, what happens if I ever have to interview Gretzky?" Jim said, "Oh, you'll puke." Sadly, I think he's right.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

I get intially intimidated by people who are overly aggressive or hostile, but it only takes a few minutes for me to get over the intimidation and get angry. Of course, it only takes a few minutes to get over being angry, and then I'm just bored and ready for something new.

I am the MTV generation. I don't have the attention span to be intimidated.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

What Mary Ellen and deb said. I normally don't care about "important" people at all. Like I doubt I'd be nervous about meeting the president or a movie star or anybody like that. But introduce me to the lead singer of The Toadies, and I'm fucking worthless.

I'm trying to get over that.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

I met Gustavo Gutierrez once -- he is an older man, a priest in Lima at the time, and he's written extensively on a subject dear to my heart (liberation theology). Anyway, he is one of my heroes, though he would hate any such label. I cannot for the life of me remember what we said, or for how long, or what -- I was in shock for the duration of the conversation. But I managed to approach him, and to talk. So that's something.

-- Anonymous, March 12, 2001

I don't really get intimidated by people, although there is a small, young part of me that is scared somebody will embarass me if I disagree with them. But that's not too often.

And with regard to the lead singer of the Toadies, Gwen, that is perfectly understandable - they are a really cool band! :)

-- Anonymous, March 15, 2001