I just found out this weekend that my dad is physically abusing my step mom in front of my 7 year old sister and 3 year old brother. I am 29 and married so this was quite a shock. They have been married for 17 years. She doesn't have a job and can't get one, she's been having trouble. She doesn't know where to go and how to do it. I don't know what I am going to do since I am the daughter of the man who is abusing her. I believe that the abuse just started. She doesn't know where to go, how to live, what to do? what steps does she need to take? Please help me.

-- Anonymous, March 05, 2001

Answers

I would recommend reading as much as you can about abuse. Start at our website: http://www.safe4all.org

Some of the links on our website address the questions you raise, such as what to do, how to set up a plan (to leave, possibly), how to protect yorself, etc..

Let me know if that doesn't help.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2001

I have to say if they have been married for 17yrs, it's not somthing that has just started. Let your step mom know your there for her and please talk with your father. see if he can get some help, those poor children do not deserve to grow up with that.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2001

Victoria is right. I was with an abuser for 13 years and would probably still be there if he hadn't decided to set his sights on my secretary. I felt alone and trapped. Tell her that you know and that your home would be a "safe house" for her and her children when he abuses her again. I did not think I had a place to go until I was well out and then my friends came forward - little late then. Lynda

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001