Jokes that waste no time in being offensive . . . .

Q. What do you call a jar full of buzzing bees? A. An Amish vibrator.

Q. What's the difference between a clit and a cellular phone. A. Nothing. Just about every cunt's got one.

Q. What's the worst thing about the rising unemployment rate? A. It gets harder to fuck your girlfriend with her husband home all the time.

Q. What do K-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both have boys jeans half-off.

Q. What's the worst thing a six-year-old could say to you after sex? A. "I've had better."

Q. What's charred and black and smells really bad? A. A cat chewing on an extension cord.

Q. What would it take for a man to respect a woman's mind? A. Have it bounce gently as she walks down the street.

Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and a Jehovah's Witness? A. You can slam the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

Q. Why do Jehovah's Witnesses dislike Halloween? A. They hate having all those strangers ring their doorbells.

Q. How can you tell if a man is dead? A. He stays stiff for longer than two minutes.

Q. How do most men define marriage? A. A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

Q. How is music like your sex life? A. Three-quarter is swing time, one-quarter is ragtime.

Q. What tastes great on apple pie but not on pussy? A. Crust.

Q. What do gay men refer to foreskin as? A. Mud flaps.

Q. How do you know whether your son will grow up to be gay? A. He likes to play "Lick the Can."

Q. Why do women have two sets of lips? A. So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Q. What's a redneck Fortune Cookie? A. A piece of cornbread with a food stamp baked inside.

Q. How do you turn a washing machine into a snow plow? A. Just give the bitch a shovel.

Q. What do you call female Viagra? A. Jewelry

Q. Why do men like women in leather? A. Because they smell like new cars.

Q. How do you get your husband interested in oral sex? A. Douche with beer.

Q. How can you tell if you're on a Jewish golf course? A. Instead of yelling, "FORE!" they yell, "$3.99!"

Q. What did the blonde say while watching the porn movie? A. "There I am!"

Q. What's the difference between a woman's pussy and a warm toilet seat. A. They both feel great, but you always wonder who's been there before you.

Q. Why do pedophiles love Halloween so much? A. Free delivery.

-- Anonymous, March 02, 2001