A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!

But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 18 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant: "Take another drink!" The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant: "Take another drink!"

The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the right... right through the front door, into the street, where a bus hits him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says: "That boy should have quit while he was a head."

Boom Boom

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2001

Answers

A group of Co-workers is standing around the office of their law firm. The main discussion was Bill. Bill was an upbeat guy, always replying to any situation "It could of been worse". They came up with a brilliant idea. They were to make up a situation so bad even Bill can't find the better side of it. The next day Bill was approached by his co-workers. One of them started describing the plot. It started out with "Hey Bill, did you hear about Frank". Bill, not knowing what was going on replied no. Another worker continued. "When he got home last night he caught his wife in bed with another man. He went to his closet, grabbed his shotgun, shot his wife, shot the man, then turned the gun on himself, now they're all dead. Bill smiled and replied "It could have been worse". One of the workers piped up "How could it be worse"? Bill said "Two nights earlier and I'd be dead!"

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2001

Tom was on the side of the road and noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by another long black hearse about 50 feet back. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind that were 200 men walking single file. Tom couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said "Sir, I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied "Well, that first hearse is for my wife." Tom asked, "What happened to her?" The man replied "My dog attacked her and she died." Tom inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned and attacked her and she died." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Tom asks, "Sir, could I borrow that dog?" He replied, "Get in line!"

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2001