My jags. It's Monday. T and I leave for Spain in 4 days. What will MATH do in our absence? I feel so unprepared.

Mike - did you figure out the FTP thing completely? Is bermanation.com up and fully running?

T - how was the partay?

The Texan may still be the King of the Jags, but he's a mighty fine kisser.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Answers

Crazy H, kissing on the Texan.

I can't believe y'all are going to Spain so soon! MATH going to be so sad without TH.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Okay, wait. Is Meloonsa a moderator now? Because she sure is bumping threads like she has been appointed one.

I think she was wasted the whole weekend and just being drunk and posting on Squishy. So obnoxious.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Maybe she took too much praxil or prozac or whatever drug she's on this week.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Allison - Tell C to work Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash into his spreadsheet. Wanna see 'em just for the name.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Hey, y'all.

The party was great. I think it was the best yet. There is no food left, we went through a gallon of bourbon, a half-gallon of gin, and a half-gallon of vodka. Joh, Liller didn't come :( But about fifty other people did, so that's a good thing.

C was in rare form. He did the requisite worm, and then we went to take out the trash. About 15 minutes later, his friend Lee asked me where he was. I said that I hadn't seen him since he went to the garage with the trash. I was a little concerned. I went to the garage (his W&M Pike friends were behind me), opened the door, and there is C, asleep on the Volkswagen. He sees me, and he hears his friends, who by now are barely breathing, they're laughing so hard.

C tried to play it off, like, "Hey guys, what's up?" However, there is a reverse VW logo on his cheek. Yesterday morning, he said that he thought it made sense - it was so noisy upstairs, and he was real tired, and he went to the garage where it was cool and dark and quiet. H said that he only wanted to lay on the car for a minute because it looked comfortable. A '91 VW.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh my god. I love it. A reverse VW logo on his cheek.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

T, I hope you took a picture. That's hirarious.

Vince Chao always gets the "Chinese red face" when he drinks-- something about Asians/melanin/something else, but it's like those football player black stripes under the eyes, except super red. I can always tell if he's lit or not.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I took a ton of pictures. I'm going to have them developed and put on a cd rom today - I'll email them to y'all as soon as I get them.

The whole hood of the car thing was actually adorable. Except for the gray hairs, Chris looks like he's about 23. Sat night, he was wearing one of his 2,000 baseball caps, plus, he as lit, so he looked about 18.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Is there any new Meg news? I'm dying to know.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Nope. No posting. No update. I'm dying too.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

AB, did you get any new emails from the folks who wanted to know who it was?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Flaya's all excited about her trailer.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I got one from Jen, who wanted to know the whole story, and Michele wrote back and said she had a feeling it was Meg. She said she immediately thought of her when someone mentioned copying pamie's mailto thingy.

Han, when you set up your layout, or change it, do you test it in different resolutions? My tracking says that the majority of people use 800x600, which is way too big for me, but should I test it anyway?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Well, isnt' your ibook 800x600?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

"That gets rid of the typical "trailer trash" that we all know and dispise."

Poor Flaya.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh my god, I know. I mean, Flaya. Wine-bar-frequenting, 6th Street Mardi Gras, Flaya. Best Buy, Aggie dropout, Austrailian-hating Flaya.

Love her.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Yes, but it looks different on a PC. Especially a 17" one. That's what I was asking.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I just realized that I can afford to buy a car. I think I will buy one when I get back from Spain. Viva Cabrio!

But y'all, this is a big realization. I can afford a car. Go me.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

MATH, I am counting on you to relieve me from my fury today. I seriously hate everybody but you guys.

I can tell I am all kinds of frustrated because, in a meeting this morning, I ate TWO donuts. I may be diabetic or something, because I literally feel CLAZY right now. My vision is all blurry and my head's all spinny. God. I'm Jessifer.

T, the C Asleep On The VW story is the best thing I've ever heard, ever. I love it so much.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Vent, baby. Tell us about your fury.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm just in a rage and decided to really start looking for a new job today. Of course, I'm not finding anything worth spitting at, and I'm mad about that.

I just want someone to tell me I can quit.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Quit.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Would y'all hate me if I worked for Newt?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Yes, quit. Then you can spend a whole week in Austin. And you could very well find a job there with all your mad skillz.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

"Would y'all hate me if I worked for Newt?"

I assume you're not asking me, because you know I'd love it.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

"Would y'all hate me if I worked for Newt?"

I'd just pretend I didn't know.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Johanna, I know that you'd love it. You and Chris could commisserate about my Newt-ness, because he'd be in Newt-heaven.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'd do the happy Republican dance. And then I could finally show you the secret handshake.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

What's really frightening is that I have an entire network of well- placed republican contacts who could totally help me get this job. The former attorney general, the guy who ran Bush's campaign in Georgia...

I don't know any democrats, y'all.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Ooh - there's a handshake?

Working for Newt would not mean that I would be an R. It would mean something, for sure, I just don't know what yet.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.

I found a new trainwreck! gigglebox.diaryland.com

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Ooh - has she updated?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Bah. The world is such a weird place. I just read a job-description for a company in Dallas wanting a writer for their super-fly web team, so I sent them my resume and this cover letter full of pop- culture references. I signed it:

Sincerely,

Allison S. Lowe

As Fly As They Come

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Yup, and that girl is even loonier than Melissa.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

By the way, I got a hit last night on HYD from someone in Sweeden. They followed a link from AB.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

That must be Helena. Helena Raicevic. How much do I want my name to be that?

She's a friend of mine who lives in Sweden.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I've always wanted to go to Sweden.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Okay, am I like L_L all of a sudden?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Naw, girl. I'm sort of busy, but mostly just sitting here being mad.

It's probably hormonal. That and I miss Chris and I can't find any good jobs to apply to.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Has he heard from any more schools??

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Not that I know of. I'm sure he would tell me.

I was telling H last night that he was making a joke about this court thing we were watching on TV - I don't even remember what it was - and he said something like "well, you know, since we're not married yet, you could testify against me..."

In my head, I was like "YET?!" And then last night we were talking about this favorite book of his I'm reading by John Hassler, Rookery Blues, about this small college town in Minnesota. He said something like "Yeah, I'm trying my best to win you over on Minnesota."

Wha? Maybe he does lo...mmm me...

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Well, duh. He wouldn't have said he loooo..mmed you if he didn't.

But no, no great white north. Y'all are coming to Atlanta.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh, girl, DUH.

I thought he was turned down by Minnesota?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm here, with short hair and a fine jumpshot.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Okay, I just listeend to the karaoke. Allison, you must deliver another karaoke smackdown.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

And yes, FTP is on, and bermanator.com is up and running.

Incidently, AB, I got a note from your-site saying they were doing something with their servers yesterday. Maybe that explains the missing graphic?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I don't know, Mike, because it works now, but only on some pages, and your links are messed up on the index page. they say www.bermanation.com/www.bermanation.com/bio.html. Or wherever it's going.

CLAZY!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Dammit!

I'll work on it tonight.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm like the Website Nazi. I made Mike call me last night to work on it, y'all.

Poor Bermanator. He's beaten down.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Hey, without AB I'd still be on geocities, so mad props go her way.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh, AB, I need the crack for dreamweaver. It's been almost 30 days. Clazy!

I will deliver the karaoke smackdown.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

You will be in Spain.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Mike, you've been much snarkier than usual the past few days. I like it.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

And Mike, as homage to this new snarkiness, I nominate you to email Meg. While we're busy writing an entry for Bermanation, you could write to Meg. I think it sounds like a mighty fine plan.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm all about the snarkiness.

I'm really an evil person at heart. I just play a nice guy on the forum.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

What can I say to her?

I don't think I can play innocent -- I'm sure she knows I know she's the culprit. (Wow, I somehow channelled The Princess Bride there for a second. "But you know that I know that you know that I know", et. al.) I think we're still on good enough terms that I could reasonably e-mail her, but not so good that she wouldn't think it odd that I was doing so.

Should I just ask when/if she plans on coming back?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Mike, you are the best, evah.

You could be all innocent, a la Allison:rudergirl. Hey Meg, haven't seen you around - everything good in Ohio?

That sort of thing.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I couldn't quite be that innocent. Even though I was pretty quiet on the journalling thread, I'm pretty sure she figures that if the rest of MATH knows she's the one, I must know as well.

I also don't want to become her e-mail pen pal either.

I'm trying to think of how to phrase it ... "Dear Meg, Everyone misses you on Squishy. Are you busy? Plan on coming back?"

It's a high-risk strategy, at at any rate.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Dear Meg:

When people disappear at the rate you did, the only explanation is that he or she is dead.

Here's to you not being dead, Mike

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Now that's not very nice. But very funny.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

T - did you see my crawfish bead shout-out in my latest update?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh yes, I did indeed.

I found some Red, white and blue beads in the pile. I brought them to Chris. He saw them and shouted, "Fuck, YEAH!" and wore them with American pride all night.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Once again, I'm L_L.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Girl, you're no L-L. I just have no Mardi Gras beads stories to share.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

You're no L_L, T.

I got a hit from copkiller.org today. Nice.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

AB, it's great to hear Ice-T likes your site.

Y'all, starlight is whacked:

"I remember when mom found our new townhome. I was abit miffed that I wasn't going to get the master bedroom [I just never had one, sooo erm yeah]. anyway, we both own the house since grandpa put my name on it too. he paid for the whole place, so we were sorta equal in this. she found it, of course since I was visiting up north, but I still didn't think it was fair that she chose which rooms were what. we finally settled it cause her bathroom just had the standup shower and I was all cramped in there. I'd use the other bathroom anyway which is closer to the room chosen for me. that's how it worked.

plus, mom cooks most of the food and goes to the store, so I guess she's still the head of the house."

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh my god. That is just not right.

See, Meg will have to pipe in soon - she wrote once that she lives in the master bedroom at her house.

No child of mine will ever have the master bedroom, I tell you what.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

It wouldn't even occur to me to give a child of mine the master bedroom.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

And y'all? $5 says Meloonsa and Drew will get engaged on Drew's 18th birthday (or on prom night, whichever comes later).

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Drew's like, 14, yo.

I just checked my stats and I do not have a hit from copkiller.org. MAYN! I'm so jealous.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I stand by my statement, regardless of Drew's age. Although the more I think about it, the more I think they might get engaged on his 17th birthday, with the wedding taking place just before his senior prom.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

And now I'm L_L. Or everyone's gone home.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm still here, for a sec.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Y'all, I am a radio supastah. Just so you know.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm here - I'm about to leave, though.

I'm researching cars. I am so going to buy one week after next. It's convertable time, baby.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

How are you a radio supastah?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'm going on the radio tonight, some other night this week, and Saturday on three stations as the theoretical expert on college hoops.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Sweet! Good luck - you'll be fantastic. Don't worry about a thing.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I hope so. I did radio a lot last year around this time, and it went OK. It's a lot easier from the office, like tonight, because I can call up records and stats on the net and look smart.

It's all about having an opinion.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

What station? We want to listen!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

That is an excellent question, to which I'm not sure I have an answer. It's (either the station or the show) is called "SportsFan", and it's on the West Coast, since I'm going on 5:24 their time (8:24 here).

But I'm not sure where to find it on the 'Net. I don't ask too many questions ... I'm just a fame whore.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

M! I'm so excited! You numbah ONE! I have to tell pamie! Maybe she can listen.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Would it possibly be SportsFanRadio.com?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Yeah, that could be it.

I might suck, though. I have no idea what they're asking me about.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Actually, that probably is it, since I was on the radio there for Fantasy Baseball last year, now that I think of it.

Can I still call it a radio show if it's only on the 'Net? I think I can.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Mike Berman, please. You're THE MAN. You'll be great. Yeah, it's a radio show. Hmm... I want to listen!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh, I'll kick ass. But I hope they ask me about teams I know about, or I'll have to BS some copy on, like, Cal-Irvine or Central Michigan.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Just throw out some catch phrases here and there like, "Yeah, Southwestern Iowa State can represent when they have to. They might come to play if they really want the win."

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

It's now or never. I mean, there's no tomorrow for these guys if they want to make the Big Dance. They need to come to play every night. They control their own destiny, but can't make any more mistakes or their bubble could burst on Selection Sunday.

I swear, sports jargon should count as a foreign language.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Man, you're a genius. Ain't no way they can throw you with some strange team.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Well, they could ask about women's hoops and I'd be up the creek. Beyond that, I think I'm OK.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Hmm. Women's hoops... Tennessee wins every year, right? Go with that.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

That's one thing with women's hoops ... there's not as much parity. It's UConn and Tennessee almost every year. A couple of other teams step up every now and then (Louisiana Tech, Georgia, Stanford, Notre Dame this year, Purdue a couple of years ago), but I could name you six or seven of the Final Eight teams right now.

Yeah, so I could talk about that, but I'm pretty sure they won't ask.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I should update, since I'm still here... but I can't. Nothing to say. So, I'll save my strength for the MATH collab of the morrow.

Guess I'm oot.

Mike - if you figure out how we can listen to your interview, send out an e-mail and I'll listen from home.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I think there's a link off the web site, right under the banner ("Click Here for Live Radio.")

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Oh.

Smarty pants.

I'll listen, then! Break a leg, M. Put in a good word for the Tide, if you can swing it.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

I'll be sure not to mention that the Tide's coach got his ass tossed from Saturday's game.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Before I go - did y'all nearly die when Omar sent that last e-mail with "DOOOONNNNNGG!!!"

I laughed at the mental picture for like, an hour.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

"I'll be sure not to mention that the Tide's coach got his ass tossed from Saturday's game."

Mayn. I didn't even KNOW that. Are you serious? DAMMMMMMIIIIIITTT! Must all of our teams go straight into the crapper?!

God. I'll look it up.

Now I'm really oot. Hmph. Stupid Alabama.

MAYN!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

DUDE. I am listening to MIKE BERMAN on the RADIO!

It took forever to set it up, but I LOVE IT! The Bermanator! I love the Internet!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Ah, shit. I got to listen to a big 3 minutes before y'all got cut off.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Did I call it? UC-Irvine. All the way.

Mayn.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Hilarious.

Mayn - that pissed me off. It took me forever to download the Yahoo thing, and it loads and I'm like screaming "THAT'S MIKE!! THAT'S MIKE!!" Sitting here all alone in my apt, yelling at the world, and then you were gone!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

And I got cut off, which pisses me off. Small-time.

I'm on in Tampa this weekend, I think. I should let It's Kat know.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Heheheeheheee... you should.

That was fun. I can't wait for your next one.

All right. Dinnah.

Do you get to gome home, soon?

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Before I finally go though, I have to say - this Yahoo! Player is BAD ASS. I'm kicking RealPlayer to the curb.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Midnight. Or a little after. Hell, knowing me, probably like 1 a.m., because I procrastinate like that.

But I'll try and leave on time, since I'm back at around 11-12 tomorrow.

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001