Politics - Hillary's bro makes huge splash

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PageSix.com

HILL'S BRO MAKES HUGE SPLASH

FORMER First Brother-in-Law Huge, er Hugh, Rodham - brother of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of the Hill Billys of Little Rock, Chappaqua and Harlem - finally made a splash bigger than the one he makes when he jumps into a pool.

Too bad it came from accepting 400,000 big ones to lobby his brother-in-law on behalf of drug dealer Carlos Vignali and snake-oil salesman A. Glenn Braswell.

Braswell, who was convicted of selling, among other things, fake cellulite-reducing pills, now sells mail-order anti-aging products, "prosexuals" and diet remedies.

Now, I don't want to be mean or jump to any unnecessary conclusions or anything, but does it look like Huge really has faith in his client's "Gero Vita" diet aids?

I'd sooner buy Vitameatavegamin from Lucy Riccardo.

What could Huge possibly have said to Big Bill to convince him? "Believe me, bro, I went from a 156-inch waistline to 154 inches in no time"?

Maybe Bill was moved after seeing some of Gero Vita's have-to-haves - like dog diet pills or the miracle cream that combines wrinkle reduction and weight loss!

Or maybe it was "Intimax," a mouth spray that "can elevate your sexual vigor to new heights of passionate lovemaking." No. Don't go there, I beg you.

But it wasn't just Democrats who sucked up to Snake Oil Braswell, a quarter-million-dollar donor to the Republican Party.

Florida Gov. Jeb Bush even wrote an article for Braswell's mag, "Journal of Longevity," last summer. Jeb did, however, return a contribution after being confronted with the pill pusher's criminal past.

But, I have faith.

All the bad raps Braswell has taken - such as the University of California/Berkeley Wellness Letter's conclusion that Gero Vita "won't prevent or cure anything" - are clearly just not true.

Look at how effective his miracle cures were at erasing his nagging criminal record. How many vitamins can do that?

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2001


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