"Customers Suck When..."greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unk's Wild Wild West : One Thread |
LAST EDITED ON Jan-16-01 AT 06:13 AM (EST) They "lose" a gift certificate, have no proof it ever existed, try to get it replaced, and then try to point to you (the innocent bystanding employee) and claim that you sold it to them on Monday. This happened to me once. The manager asked me if this was true, while the customer was emphatically saying oh yes, it was her, and I said I was off on Monday. D'oh!You give them detailed directions to an item in the store, they come back 20 min. later, expecting you to remeber them, and saying they couldn't find it and want you to prove that it exists and then answer 500 questions about it.
They force you to dig out a TV bigger than you are from the thick jungles of the back and when you finally get it out, they decide they'll just go with the thirteen inch insted. (Oh, and could you help me out to my car?)
They continually ask where the batteries are, despite the gigantic 5 ft. inflatable battery suspended from the cieling, and the fact that if you are looking at me, you are looking at the batteries behind me.Their purchase costs $10.05, they have $20 and demand you "forget about the five cents".
They buy cigarettes, and when told "you can't smoke them in here" say "Don't you think it's weird I can buy them here but can't use them here?" (Not at all, it's a gas station and anway, we also sell condoms).
They threaten to sue when you won't let them pay $3 on credit card (when there are signs all over the place saying it's a $5 minumum for credit cards, and they have the cash anyway).
They come in with a pile of small change, complain when you make them count it, and it act surprised when it turns out to be 10 cents short.
They think you should know exactly what they want cause they come in maybe once a month. Then they act like you have to remeber it for next time.
A 17 year old comes up to buy cigarettes and when asked for an ID, shows it to you then, swears they are 18 even though they are about 4 months off from being 18.. (this happened and even another employee agreed with the customer, until I did out the math on a peice of paper for them...both)
People come in to buy cigarettes and get upset because you asked for their ID last week...Ya like I remeber everyone I ID.
They ask you if you speak Spanish, when you tell them "No", so they give you their life story in Spanish anyway.
They ask for an item that they claim is not on the shelf, you're kind enough to go get it from the basement only to find out that the shelf is FULL!
They buy turkeys Thanksgiving morning then return them that afternoon blaming you that it wouldn't thaw on time.
They insist on bringing their entire extended family to the store including all aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, godparents, and in-laws to only buy 1 item.
You work as a stock boy and customers trying paying you for their stuff not realizing that's what the cashiers are there for.
Something is Buy One Get One Free, and they ask you if they can only take the one free.
They ask you what the ingredients mean on food. This really bad on ice cream when some of the ingredients are 15 letters long, and they get mad when you don't know claiming you sell the item you should know what's in it.
They try to write a check for their food when there is a sign in front of the register that states "cash only."
They deface books--tear pictures out, write on the pages, spill coffee on them. (Curse whatever book chain started that coffee in the bookstores nonsense!)
They are older people who drive up in a new Cadillac and tip you 50 cents because 50 years ago, that was a good tip.
They open the adult magazines in the store and blissfully paw through them, and when you ask them not to read the adult mags in the store, they claim "It was already opened". Be that as it may, moron, the sign says, "Do Not Read In Store."
They try to get you in trouble via the suggestion sheets or comment cards.
They do mysterious/disgusting/smelly things in the public restroom.
They don't measure their windows before shopping for curtains. Instead, they remove several from their packages, exclaiming "No, that's too long/short for my window." Then, they proceed to leave the curtains lying unfolded on the ground and hang the empty packaging back on the hook.
They point at a t-shirt display and ask " do you have this is size *" and when I ask if they've looked through the shirts they say "no, I'm too lazy" and laugh....yeah...real funny jerkoff
They dump all the salt from the shaker on the table and write "you suck" in the mess (yeah I'm the one with the problem)
They order food from you at a fast food place and then go sit down, expecting me to carry it all over to them (if I've suddenly become your waitress, why arent you tipping me?)
People insist on unfolding every size small because they might fit differently
You do some remodeling in your store and the same customer will come in day after day and make they same comments about the remodel. (You told us once. What are you trying to do drill it into my head?)
The customer who buys only one gallon of milk, then proceeds to tell you not to bag it too heavy.
They claim that a store policy they were unaware of shouldn't apply to them because they're "not from around here."
They'll get to the front of the line and complain that they've been waiting an age. I say, "I'm terribly sorry. May I help you?" "Well, could I look at the menu first?"
They call in to have a pizza delivered but they live 5 miles out side our area, but they insist that we delivered there before.
They order a pizza which will take an hour to make. Then come in 15 minutes later and wonder why it isn't ready. Threaten to kill you because its not ready. Then leave. (Kid you not this happened to me) http://www.customerssuck.com/forums/cgi/dcboard.cgi?az=list&forum=DCForumID129&conf=DCConfID3
-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), February 22, 2001
The customer is always right....
-- Will (righthere@home.now), February 22, 2001.
>>>They threaten to sue when you won't let them pay $3 on credit card (when there are signs all over the place saying it's a $5 minumum for credit cards, and they have the cash anyway).Self serving signs all over the place mean nothing. The merchant's agreement with their bank, under the by-laws of Visa and MasterCard, ensure that there is no such thing as a minimum. If the merchant accepts Visa, he has to accept it for a pack of gum, or risk being dropped.
-- scarecrow (somewhere@over.rainbow), February 23, 2001.
I realize this thread was supposed to elicit at least a chuckle. It didn't for me. I know. Lighten up!Say "Customer Service". All together now: "Customer Service!"
Good.
Customers are not always right. I won't work for any company that blindly supports all customers in their disagreements with customer service reps (CSR). That's being left out on an island, makes for high turnover & cultivates a no-think, herd mentality among the employees. Not good.
That said, firstline customer service is not for everyone. A CSR must be a good listener, quick witted, intuitive, know when to bite one's tongue and when to speak freely, be aware of time spent with a single customer when others are waiting, like to smile (even phone-based CSRs) & realize their company won't remain in business for long if they abuse customers. Oh yeah. And know how to pass the buck to supervisors. Hehehe.
Quality customer service can provide a competitive edge for a company and will generate extra sales. This I've seen time and time again.
Customer feedback gives the CSR opportunity to improve the company. It is this area which sends me scurrying from large corporations who turn deaf ears to suggestions on how to improve the way business is conducted. CSR is the front line in the battle for success in business. Where better to learn what works and what doesn't? Where better to find areas in which policies should be tweaked or tossed?
Lastly, I subscribe to the philosophy of internal and external customer service. In other words, I attempt to treat co-workers with the same focused effort and respect as I do customers. Business is a team sport. Cooperation and keeping one's sight on the goal makes the work experience more enjoyable and more productive, IME.
-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), February 23, 2001.
Bows head in shame and repeats : Customer Service. :-)UP 2 a point. If they verbally abuse me, I'm out, but I do tell them: "Mr. Aint, I am going to hang up now unless you can calm down and once you have calmed down, feel free to call back and I'll be happy to assist you".
-- sumer (shh@aol.con), February 23, 2001.
If you're one of a bunch of customer service reps, there's an old trick where, if your customer just won't let go and is starting to become abusive, you continue to be very patient and understanding; meanwhile, your fingers walk up the phone to the button in calm, measured strides, and cut YOU off in mid-sentence.Not that I've ever done this, mind you. I....um....read about it in the paper. Yeah, that's right. I read about it.
-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), February 23, 2001.
Good one Eve!
-- (cin@cin.cin), February 23, 2001.
I totally agree with your business philosophy, Rich.Eve- meanwhile, your fingers walk up the phone to the button in calm, measured strides, and cut YOU off in mid-sentence. LOL. That IS clever.
As far as that old song 'n dance about the "customer is always right"... If you subscribed to that theory in the casino biz your company would soon go broke. It's amazing how many people who are otherwise normally upright and honest will take a shot at cheating the casinos if they think they can get away with it. I've got a thousand stories alone of people who have lied about what transpired while falsely claiming their slot machine "cheated" them.
-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), February 23, 2001.
Damn EVE!!!!Now I am GOOD to go!!!!!!! I will try it, soon I promise :-)
thanks for the tip.
-- sumer (shh@aol.con), February 23, 2001.
NY Times, February 23, 2012:"The downfall of CSR can be traced to a single post on an internet forum, reportedly Unk's Wild Wild West, made by one Eve- Rebekah on this date in 2001..."
-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), February 23, 2001.
Wow -- I had no idea my little post would bring such wide acclaim! You're very welcome for the tip, though.You know, my mom (bless her heart) used to be a big complainer about her food in restaurants -- more often than not sending her food back. Used to embarrass me to the point where I almost dreaded going out with them.
Myself -- I almost never complain about my food -- not that I'm not assertive -- it's just that I prefer to pick my battles, and my tastes in food are pretty wide-ranging and accepting, in any case. I mean for me to complain in a restaurant it would have to be a BIG thing -- such as my passing the kitchen and noticing a bunch of big, shirtless guys sitting around, soothing sunburns with raw veal -- or something like that.
-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), February 24, 2001.
I used to be a CSR for Gateway, back before "People Ruled." They really built a shitty product. I saw motherboards with mistakes in soldering that looked like a kid had assembled it. I used to be honest with the customers, I told them it was a crappy product and to return it, put a crowbar in their wallet and buy a decent machine if they didn't have the time or talent to build their own. Women used to hang up on me regularly and complain to my supervisor. But they didn't fire me. I quit when they started lagging a week behind in giving me a paycheck. I thought for sure that they would've gone defunct by now. Looks like they did some serious house cleaning. I still wouldn't buy any machine from them without carefully inspecting the innards.
-- (Weeble@wee.ble), February 24, 2001.
In all my years of bidness I've had one customer that I could not please. The guy was a total jerkoff, watched me like a hawk while I worked, and finally pissed me off to the point where I collected my equipment and walked off leaving the job half finished. While I was there he mentioned that he could never get people to come back a second time to do more work for him, lol! I wonder why?"You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em..." -- Kenny Rogers
-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), February 24, 2001.
Reminder to self: Don't let Eve choose the restaurants.The manufacturer I worked for in NC purchased two Gateway PCs back in about 1994. They were both dogs. Motherboards were the culprits. We may have spoken back then. Small world.
Customers who cannot be satisfied must quickly become ex-customers OR pay through the nose for your products & services IF you can stand the whining. Big IF!
-- Rich (howe9@shentel.net), February 24, 2001.
Ok, ok, ok -- now that this is turning into a confessional -- I actually did that little cutting off of myself in mid-conversation once. I was working as a CSR for a large governmental agency in Detroit in the late '70s. One guy just wouldn't quit, and wouldn't listen. And suddenly, a light bulb came on -- could almost see it over my head, dontcha know. I could almost feel a mischievous grin come over me as I proceeded to cut myself off, right in the middle of a pleasantry of some sort. And whaddya guess -- five minutes later, I could hear another woman in a cubicle down the aisle having a very familiar animated conversation with a caller! I threw my head back, covered my mouth, and (silently) broke up!
Never told her, though, because she was -- well, how can I say this -- a bitch anyway, and had been pretty nasty to me on an ongoing basis. I might have even done a fist in the air "yes" kinda thing. Talk about your poetic justice! Well, I've gotta stop typing cause I'm LOL-ing all over again right now!
-- Eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), February 24, 2001.
***I received the email today LOL!***For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as baggage.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too!"
-- (cin@cin.cin), February 26, 2001.
My philosophy on customer service is simple,I'll bend over backwards to help a customer as best as possible and will go the extra 10 miles to insure their satisfaction BUT if in the course of me helping them,they become bitchy or abusive,they are promptly and politely told to "get the fuck out of my store and don't come back".I am a king of CS and have a city-wide reputation for it,Iv'e built a struggling biz into a hot commodity,so I take CS very seriously,but there is a limit.One thing I have found that is odd,the people who push you to the point that you say no more and jump their ass most always become the best customers,will never get that.
Unk,your story reminds me of one from awhile back when I was hanging wallpaper as my second job.I had been contracted to strip and hang a kitchen,the price for the job was $200.00,the job went very fast and I was done in about 4/5 hrs.Well,the lady of the house came in when I was finished to inspect the job and give her approval and to pay me as well,when she remarked "that didn't take very long at all" and decided that the job was worth only $100.00 because of the short time of the job.
I asked her very calmly if she would reconsider and give me the full amount they and I had agreed on,she declined,acting like she had just been conned or something,I asked her if she was sure,she said yes,I said ok and got on my ladder and pulled 50% of the paper I had just hung off the wall,folded it neatly and placed it her arms as I was walking out the door.
Funny thing was,her husband called me the next day apologizing for his wife and asked me to please come back and re-do the job,we agreed I would,for $300.00 and that his wife would not be present : )
-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), February 27, 2001.
Capn, that's a beautiful story!
-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), February 27, 2001.
Oh, BTW Capn, whenever I get the same sort of comment "Gee, for $200 I figured that you would be here longer" my standard reply is "Well, if it makes you feel any better about it m'am I have kept track through the years, and I have calculated that by the time I deduct all of my expenses I only get to keep about half of it."That usually ends the conversation about my paycheck.
-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), February 27, 2001.
I had been contracted to strip and hang a kitchen,the price for the job was $200.00,the job went very fast and I was done in about 4/5 hrs.You stripped for ONLY 200? Capn dear, tell me the 300 you received from the hubby WAS worth it....??
LMFAO, and just kidding.
IF you think I got a great since of humor wait till I'm on the beach with a mich lite in hand :-) VEG
-- sumer (shh@aol.con), February 27, 2001.