"Unless something is done immediately, nearly all the red-rock formations in New Mexico will be covered with Chia Pet plants in five years"

The results of improper Chia Pet disposal has become a major ecological problem in the state of New Mexico.

Illegal Chia Pet Dump found in New Mexico!

Most people give little thought to what becomes of thier Chia pets after the holiday season has become history

It's very sad that few Chia owners realize that the proper disposal of thier Chia Pet is crucial in averting potential environmental disasters.

The photos to the left depict just two localized outbreaks of what has now been dubbed "Wild Chia", which presently is spreading wildly along the I-40 corridor in New Mexico.

The actual Chia plant is not native on our globe, but was created artificially under laboratory conditions in an effort to promote the sale of clay pottery and sound activated electrical switches.

What happens when the Chia Pet plants are allowed to propagate in the wild is currently New Mexico's worst ecological nightmare this century.

According to a report recently published in the ECOLOGICAL TIMES by renowned botanist Alex Mendelsohn of the Maine Institute, the problem is immense.

"Unless something is done immediately, nearly all the red-rock formations in New Mexico will be covered with Chia Pet plants in five years" warns Mendelsohn.

"The natural landscape of New Mexico is ideal habitat for Chia Pet plants and closely resembles the clay pottery they were designed to thrive on" he adds.

Chia Pet plants have few known natural enemys, most of which are too busy fishing to assist in the New Mexico disaster.

Without anything to check the spread of these plants, they will cover the state in a short time and ultimately destroy all life on earth.

Help support proper Chia disposal with a shirt or coffee mug from the Anasazi Chia Recyclers of Grants, NM. CLICK HERE for details.

PROPER CHIA PET DISPOSAL

To properly dispose of your Chia Pet, you should contact the Chia Disposal Hotline at 1-800-555-3344. You should NEVER discard Chia Pet plants in the trash, flush down the toilet or incinerate them yourself.

Support Chia Recycling

Improve awareness of the looming Chia disposal crisis with the Chia Recycling shirts, mugs and mousepad. CLICK HERE for details.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 18, 2001

Answers

New Mexico!?!? Does Ed know about this? I can see it now... "Chia- bomb 2001" - Coming soon to a bookstore near you.

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), February 18, 2001.

Does anyone know where I can order a porno chia pet?

-- (nemesis@awol.com), February 18, 2001.

nem,

I think they are only available in France and have been banned in the U.S.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), February 18, 2001.

CD,

I believe Ed's daughter is already in the process of forming contingency plans,town meetings and a soon to be released video of the apocolyptic scenario's that may befall NM and perhaps the entire continent,as the chia mutates into an unkillable,unstoppable threat to every man,woman and child.

I have even heard rumors of cross-hybriding the chia with cannabis,it is said to mellow it out to a non threatening organism and it tastes great too.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), February 18, 2001.

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), February 18, 2001.

UB--

LOL, good one!

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 18, 2001.

I 'spose you could smear your inflatable with chia-seed, Nemesis. (I assume chia would grow on plastic???)

I hereby name capn's evil mutant plant "Chiabis". Kinda has a nice ring to it doesn't it.

Can't wait to learn how to prepare for such a disaster. As a first step, I'm stocking up on Ranch dressing in case I have to munch my way out of an unexpected chiabis attack. My guess is Ranch dressing will be as valuable as duct tape in a TEOTWAWKI situation.

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), February 18, 2001.

Chiabis,I like it,novel idea hmmm...??? just trim-n-grin : )_

Reckon I'd have to stock up on papers and brownie mix.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), February 18, 2001.

Capn, stock up on a 'gravity bong' instead. Sooo easy to make and you dont have to bake :-)

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), February 24, 2001.