Revealing study

STUDY FINDS YOU REALLY DON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE

In Grand Scheme of Things, Your Hard Work, Diligence, Found to Mean Squat

London, England — In an unprecedented study, British and American researchers have concluded that despite what you've been told at work, you really don't make a difference, and are not remotely integral to your company's success.

"In our research, we found that you've been encouraged to believe that your hard work and contributions are substantial, and that you are a significant member of the team. But what we discovered is that in your particular case, there's no way," said Neil Romsby of the London School of Economics.

In the study, jointly conducted by the LSE and Stanford University's Business School, researchers interviewed your superiors and colleagues, and uncovered a variety of slogans meant to boost employees' sense of worth, such as "Our employees are our greatest asset," and, "Our value is in our employees."

"We're not necessarily saying these platitudes are all lies," said Stanford economics professor Harold Bloom. "We're just saying they have nothing to do with you." "That may seem sad," Bloom noted, "but it's actually rather funny because your situation is quite obvious to everyone else."

Romsby added that it's also ironic. "When you tell your boss he is doing a good job, you know you are lying, but when your boss tells you the same thing, you actually believe it. That's priceless."

Romsby cautions you, however, not to assume you are simply a meaningless number to your company. "No, that's not a fair comparison," he said, "because numbers are actually quite meaningful to your company. Unlike you."

-cut-

(Just something for you to ponder on your days off. Have a nice weekend all.)

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), February 17, 2001

Answers

[and to think I needed a study to tell me that.]

CD, I mentioned in another thread an E-mail "round-robin" I've been having with my kids of late and the one thing that I hope came through to them in that is that one should take a job he loves. I would have paid the companies that hired me simply to let me do the stuff I did. Where else would I have the opportunity? [The nice salary was just icing on the cake.]

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), February 17, 2001.

Actually, in the greater scheme, nothing makes a difference; nothing matters. It's all for nought, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Please convince me I'm wrong.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 17, 2001.

Lars is a poor player, who struts and frets himself apon the stage...

(and later, Lady Macbeth, rubbing her hands...) Out, out, damn Lars!

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), February 17, 2001.

Out, out, damn spot!

-- (WJC@blue.Gap_dress), February 17, 2001.

It really depends on what you do for the company doesn't it? When you create a job no one else can do, you are important to them.

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), February 17, 2001.

Cherri:

Hate to disappoint you, but even if you're self-employed, you *still* don't count for squat. The only difference is, in that case even fewer people give a shit about it. You just don't matter, that's all. You can't fight science.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), February 18, 2001.

Flinty Baby,

Enough of the nilist doo doo. Cherri is indeed correct especially for the selfemployed. If I lost my number one or two my little entrepreneural effort would suffer big time. They could be replaced of course but the time and expense of finding and training the right people......I don't want to think about it! Better I'm out of there than them!

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), February 18, 2001.

Hey. Did I just get trolled? The *S* word plus "You can't fight science." doesn't sound like our Flint.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), February 18, 2001.

Carlos:

Sheesh. This story is a *satire*. There is no such study, and if there were it wouldn't be "sciencie". Relax, you really are somebody to someone (unless you aren't).

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), February 18, 2001.

gee, is it just me'or didn,t GOD prove our worth-when HE died to save us?????

-- al-d (dogs@zianet.com), February 18, 2001.

God is dead? Kewl.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), February 18, 2001.

Ya got me CD. Shudda checked the link.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), February 18, 2001.

Either Flint fell off the wagon, or we have a fairly stupid imposter.

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), February 19, 2001.

LOL, CD! Thanks for the laugh :-)

Flint, I don't know why so many people can't tell when you've got your tongue in cheek... maybe you need to start your satiric posts with :/

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), February 19, 2001.