Proctologists agree

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NOW'S THE TIME TO PROBE CLINTON

February 16, 2001 Chicago Tribune

Back in the days when he was the real, live president of the United States and various ornery prosecutors were hunting him down, you could argue that Bill Clinton should be left alone. He was the president. The leader of the nation needed to focus on his job. Let him be.

There were enough Democrats making that argument, and there were enough Republicans in a blind rage over Clinton, that to many eyes the hunters wound up looking more sinister than the prey.

But Clinton isn't the president now. He's a citizen--working, best we can figure, one or two days a week, hauling down $100,000 just for showing up.

U.S. Atty. Mary Jo White in Manhattan has launched a criminal investigation into whether there is a connection between big political contributions made by Denise Rich and Clinton's decision to pardon Marc Rich, her former husband and a fugitive from justice.

Three words of advice for prosecutor White: Take your time.

This time, no one's going to accuse the prosecutor of a political vendetta. Democrats are as aghast as Republicans are about Clinton's decision to pardon Rich.

This time, no one's going to say Clinton's time is too valuable to be consumed by answering queries from the Justice Department. He's an ex-president. He has all the time in the world.

To recap the bidding: Denise Rich was a major contributor to the Democratic Party and the Senate campaign of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Rich gave at least $450,000 to build a Clinton presidential library. For good measure, she gave him a saxophone, too.

While Denise Rich was padding the Democratic coffers, Marc Rich was on the lam. He was indicted in 1983 on charges of fraud and evasion of $48 million in taxes. He was charged with illegally doing business with Iran during the hostage crisis. He fled the U.S. one step ahead of indictment and set up shop in Switzerland.

In his last hours as president, Clinton issued a presidential pardon for Rich. To accomplish this, the White House did its best to keep the Justice Department in the dark until the deed was all but done.

It has already been established that this was an outrageous abuse of the constitutionally provided power of the presidential pardon. All that's left to determine is whether it was criminal. Prosecutor White will investigate whether Rich and his former wife, in essence, bought a presidential indulgence from Bill Clinton.

Chances are, one suspects, that prosecutors will not establish a paper trail sufficient to prove a quid pro quo. The Clintons have always been adept at letting the world see there is smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, and never the fire.

But it is worth a long, exhaustive, check-under-every-rock investigation. Prosecutor White, happy hunting.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 16, 2001

Answers

The other side of the "spin" coin claims that Clinton's advisors never TOLD him that Rich was "on the lam". A vital piece of info was missing when the decision to grant a pardon was made. Howzabout we wait to see how the *whole* story pans out?

-- What's (TheDamnFussAbout@Sheesh.com), February 16, 2001.

Proctologists agree.....

NOW'S THE TIME TO PROBE CLINTON

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 17, 2001.


I have begun my probe of Clinton's bunghole, but have been hindered by several obstructions. A human head peeked out, so I reached in and pulled it out.

It was a deranged man who calls himself "Lars". He said "Be gentle when you poke around in there, Kenneth Starr and Rush Limbaugh are still in there investigating, among others".

I must proceed with great caution from this point forward, or I may destroy the entire Republican Party. This probe will probably take about 15 years to complete, at an expense to the taxpayers of approximately 1.6 billion dollars. Please be patient, we will get to the "bottom" of this.



-- Mary Jo White (Republican@shit.seeker), February 17, 2001.


Sure, let’s investigate Clinton! Impeach him again! But I say, while you’re at it, why not toss in Papa Bush’s foul Iran Contra pardons. Let’s get Ford for pardoning Nixon, who really was a crook. And it’s about time we learned who paid for Reagan’s $2.5 million dollar mansion, and why are we footing the hefty bill for his office when the man can’t even write his own name.

Senator from Pennsylvania, Arlen Specter, who recently suggested that President Clinton could be impeached yet again. Citing no evidence that would even warrant such a move, Specter implied that Congress could punish Clinton for his last minute actions by slashing his budget, his pension and his Secret Service detail.

Specter has often been in the doghouse with his fellow Senate Republicans for his grandstanding and penchant for overstating facts and exaggeration.

Specter was also a pivotal player in the infamous Ira Einhorn murder case. In the late seventies, Einhorn, a co-founder of Earth Day and prominent counter culture hero, brutally killed his girlfriend and stuffed her body inside a trunk, which he hid in his apartment. Einhorn was arrested for her murder and he hired Specter, who was then a criminal defense attorney, to defend him. Specter secured Einhorn’s release on a cash deposit of $4000. Specter assured the Philadelphia bail judge that Einhorn was not a “flight risk.”

Guess what? Einhorn fled the country and wound up in France living the high life under an assumed name with a new wife. In 1993, Einhorn was tried in absentia and found guilty but for years France refused to extradite Einhorn. To this date, Einhorn is still a free man although he recently lost his last appeal to remain abroad. So far as I know, Specter has not appeared on Sunday talk shows asking for hearings on why it’s taken so long for Einhorn to be brought to justice, but it makes perfect sense. Einhorn is not a former President who’s last name happens to be Clinton.

No hypocrocy here is there?

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), February 17, 2001.


(I got it, Lars; I was laughing from afar.)

(Well, I would be laughing alot harder if it wasn't so pathetically ridiculous and chock-full of the double-standard inherent in *today's* Republican party.)

(The continuous, never-ending probes is pathetically ridiculous; not your joke. Your joke was funny.)

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), February 17, 2001.



Thank you Patricia, I didn't even read the article. I thought the headline was too good to pass up. Folks, relax.

-- Lars (larsguy@yahoo.com), February 17, 2001.

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