Last weekend's crisis has continued so I'll be trying to sort that out.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Answers

Child-minding and probably restarting the Corinthian League so as to avoid the real one. Nicola goes back to work so I am trying to reconcile why we both have to work and leave our baby with complete strangers while those useless imposters get paid obscene amounts of money for not bothering because they can't win the league and are out of the Cup. Swap with you in a second. Arseholes. Bitter? You bet!

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Softie, is 4 March still on? I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I've had this real crisis going on. Sorry.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Friday: Going to see Hannibal

Saturday: Trawl the papers looking for a job and addressing CV to those unlucky enough to cath my eye. (had my first 'outside' interview for 21 years today! - as if the interview wasn't bliddy frightening enough, I had to go to Dagenham for it)

Sunday: visiting MainLaw

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Softie don't mean to diminish your anger but your crazy ravings are killing me (lol I mean) whereas I am just bitter and twisted. For example went into a MacD's for some fries this pm, asked the young lady behind the counter for something, she looked at me and continued her conversation with someone else, I ask said excuse me, she continued talking. I raised my voice "Excuse Me" at which point she looks me up and down and gave me my answer, I lost it and said "That's why your working in F**kin' Macd's and walked out. This weekend, School, tutoring, schoolwork, dinner, sleep, schoolwork and finish off the weekend by gettin loaded.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Dougal, deffo still on and getting more complicated by the day :-)

Syme, great response! Always wanted to do something like that but just get terribly English about things like that and apologise for interrupting instead of hosing them down with a healthy dose of bile :-)

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

This is not personal bile but an example of my sister's. She'[s not a football fam although her very mild-mannered husband supports United if he supports anyone. Anyway, this woman comes up to her in Boots in the Eldon Centre trying to get her to try some make-up and says "You look a bit tired, you need a bit more make-up". Sis replies. "If I wore as much make-up as you, my husband would throw me out. You've got a face like my tw.t. too".

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Brilliant......those kind of response really hit the spot don't they. I can usually think of great ones about two minutes after I have walked away.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Keep up the great response stories! This laughter is making me feel loads better. :-)

Not sure exactly what I'm doing this weekend yet. Taxes is probably one thing I need to work on cause I need my refunds so I can pay off various crooks demanding my money until whenever my car accident case gets settled and I get my windfall(ha ha). Amazing how the victim in these cases gets more screwed over than the at-fault party. grrr.

May head out to explore the area. My friend and I have talked about doing it for months, but never seem to find the time. Might just stay home and get drunk. ;-)

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001

Friday - nowt much, maybe a video.

Saturday - Gym in the morning, followed by a raucious period of viewing Egg-Chasing. A sport where people put their heads in hwere it hurts and want to win a match, a refreshing experience!!!

Sunday - Chilling, possibly golf or a few chores round the house.

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Golf, rugby, golf, rugby

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Out for a curry and a beer tonight, driving back to the Motherland tomorrow morning for a 2nd viewing on a house, more beer Saturday night, and drive home Sunday.

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Missus and mates tonight for some beers, shopping for my holiday tomorrow, cinema to see hannibal tomorrow night, relax sunday

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Sitting with my first beer listening to Van Morrison..........which is nice!

Night in tonight after a horrific week at work! (Put in my first 40hrs in for years!!!) Lunch by the beach at Cottesloe (shark attack homeland) followed by a Geordie tribal gathering tomorrow night at a mates.

Sunday = Hammock books and papers

Youse lot still at work eh?

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Hiro, in the politest sense possible-go away!

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Probably out with wor lass for a few drinks and then a meal tonight. Always market on Saturday morning, then maybe another attempt to learn to rollerblade, weather permitting. Saturday afternoon watching rugby with some Irish students here. Saturday night depends on quantity consumed during Saturday afternoon. And then playing rugby again on Sunday.

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Tonight DJ ing in a bar in the West end ( London ) , tomorra finishing packing up me goods and Chattles and take them to me Mams .. only 2 weeks now until i leave England . Saturday afternoon watch rugby , Saturday night pub .. Sunday Golf and picking the missus up from Kings cross .. Next weekend final fling in Newcastle before i depart , aand i need a victory to carry away in me memory : - ).

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Are you getting excited about going Sting?(:o)

Had my excitement for the week - went to the cinema on Wednesday to see Hannibal (preview night). Nothing at all planned for the weekend - how sad is that! (;o)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Divvent forget ti luk undaa the bed, Gal!!

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

I'm sure that curtain just moved and I know I closed the window...

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

How to tell if you are cannon-fodder in a horror film:

When you hear a strange noise in the cellar do you:
a) Pick up your shotgun and a pocketful of spare shells just in case.
b) Grab the large meat cleaver in the kitchen. c) Pick up a torch with low battery power so you need to keep shaking it.

When you get the script check out your relation to the main character. Are you:
a) A well defined, fully fleshed character with several lines which don't appear to be designed to make you instantly likeable.
b) Someone who screams a lot (they seem to annoy you right the way through the film, don't they?)
c) An utterly characterless nobody who keeps saying things like, "Oh gee, you don't believe in all that crap about the old Miller place being haunted do you? We're going to have a sleep over there. Why don't you join us, it'll be cool."

You arrive at a "House of Horror" and reckon you have rumbled a serial-killer in his lair. Do you:
a) Call for backup of at least 2 SWAT teams and don't go near the house without a kelvar flak suit on and a call to your Life Assurance broker. b) Run like fuck. c) Go down to the cellar calling, "Hey Norman, it's okay,we can get you help for this."

You have just whacked the bad guy but there are at least 10minutes left before the scheduled end of the movie and no sign of the credits. Do you:
a) Hack your own head off with a bread knife to avoid the suspense.
b) Run like fuck.
c) Run a nice hot bath and get good and drowsy with all the doors and windows open.

If the answer to any of the above was (c) then I am afraid that you won't be getting much out of Life in the next few moments unless you get a vicarious thrill out of watching girls throwing tubs of popcorn over their partners when they leap 3 feet out of their chairs but insist that horror films are "Really triffic."

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Hi Screacher - I don`t need to look under the bed, if anything moves in the bedroom Bentley jumps on it!(:o)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Hmm! How stupid was that posting! Okay, okay - have a good laugh! I know what you`re thinking - `no wonder she`s got absolutely nothing planned for the weekend!) (:o!

And Softie - how are you! I was thinking you must have been away on holiday, but I realise now that you were having trouble posting with clenched teeth! Are you calming down a bit now about our last `memorable` performance, or should I say `least`? (;o)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

BTW - I`m dying to talk about Hannibal - but have been keeping schtum about it until a few more of you have seen it.

Love scary films! It`s interesting how not everyone is scared by the same thing though. I though the Blair Witch Project was really scary at the end - but half the people I knew that had seen it though it was pathetic. Oh well, it wouldn`t do for us all to be the same.(:o)

Your posting about `cannon fodder` was funny - and true! Daft thing is, if it`s done well enough it can still be scary. Mind you, I`m very good at suspending belief!(:o)

Your posting about

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Oh well, I seem to be having a very interesting conversation with myself - so I`m off to bed with my minder........here kitty, kitty, kitty!

In case you happen to check in later Softie - did I send you a team for the Corinthians League? If not, can I just keep the same one as last time, or have you moved the goalposts?(:o)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Hi Galaxy. It's actually Mrs Softie's birthday today and she spent it at an Ann Summers party (so that probably means it'll be more like my birthday and Christmas when she rolls in giggling later. Unless I take a leaf out of LR's book (In. Out. Put the kettle on.)

Corinthian League has changed a fair bit but I'll pick you one in keeping with your last squad. Aha. Key in the door, best gird my loins (and try to remember where I left my truss) :-)

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Well it sounds like your mood is about to be/has been/is now being improved considerably, Softie. Give Nicola my best birthday wishes!

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Could be making a brother / sister for little Bobby tonight then Soft One (Freudian)?

;-7

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2001

Blimey. Where're the multi-vitamins? :-0

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2001