Silly jokes

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unofficial Newcastle United Football Club BBS : One Thread

HOW DO CRAZY PEOPLE GO THROUGH THE FOREST?

THEY TAKE THE PSYCHO PATH. ============== HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?

YOU BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT. ============== WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?\

DAM! =============== WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG?

POLAROIDS =============== WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?

A STICK. =============== WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?

NACHO CHEESE. =============== WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?

SUBORDINATE CLAUSES. =============== WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?

QUATTRO SINKO. =============== WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?

SPOILED MILK. ================ WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE

FROSTBITE. ================ WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?

A NERVOUS WRECK. ================ WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP?

ANYONE CAN ROAST BEEF ================ WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT HIM. ================ WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS. ================ WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE?

BECAUSE IT SCARES THE DOG. ================ WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?

SANKA ================ WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?

THE LOCATION OF THE DIRT BAG. ================ WHY DOES A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN?

BECAUSE THEY WEAR THEIR BELT BUCKLE ON THEIR HAT. ================ WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER?

A BAD GOLFER GOES, WHACK, DANG IT!. A BAD SKYDIVER GOES DANG IT!! WHACK ================ HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?

UNIQUE UP ON IT. ================ HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT?

TAME WAY, UNIQUE UP ON IT. ================ WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS?

SKEET. ================ WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP?

AN AMISH DRIVE-BY SHOOTING ================ HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME?

SOMEBODY'S GONNA LOSE A TRAILER



-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Answers

Sorry bout the formatting. Am too tired and lazy to make it pretty right now. ;-)

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Nice...I almost fell of the chair....(seriously)

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2001

Truely brilliant Ciara....truely brilliant.

I'll be using a lot of them I can promise you that.

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2001


Moderation questions? read the FAQ