"So how does this penis enlargement tool work?"

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Answers

"Come on Kev, it won't hurt that much."

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

"Hey you f***in' load of f***in' sh!ts, if you continue this f***in' losing run I'll f***in' stick this up yer f***in' @rses. Do you f***in' understand me? And stop f***in' scratchin', will ye?"

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Believe me, where I want to put this, it won't need much sun tan cream!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Niall dont u like me with my beard on? Why wont u open those lovely lanky legs of yours.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

"I'd recommend you insert this prostate tickler gently. I'll stand across the room and catch it in this test tube, OK ?"

(with apologies to any squeamish readers out there)

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2001

Spud wins it, by a short head. :-))

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2001