Rik,

How long does it take for Collymore to get pissed off and be unhappy for no reason? I've signed him in exchange for Simon Davies going the other way and Collymore is banging the goals in left right and centre. He is almost single handedly getting my consecutive promotion campaign on track!

Also signed Neil Emblen from Wolves who is a solid midfielder.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Answers

When I had him at Newcastle, I had him for two full seasons without any problems other than being pissed off for substituting him in a cup final.

In the second Division my mate beat me too him,just finnished the first season and he was his best player, wants to move to a bigger club but hasn't had a big enough offer as yet and it isn't affecting his form.

You want to try for Steve Harper as well. He's the reason I won the second division. Cleaner sheets than the Hylton hotel.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

I've got Paul Gerrard in goal at the moment who is a good player. I'm not always convinced because my defence is quite young, but he averages well over 7, which is quite good for a keeper, whose marks can seriously be affected by crap defending.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Have you found yourself checking the results of your teamin real life to see who's scored?

Stoke won 4 - 0 on Sunday, some of my best players all scored namely Daddason, Thorne, Iwelumo and Connor. My teams full of Irish and Icelanders, hence the interest in Iceland at the moment.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

cm = ignoring women

have you got valentines bagged?

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

No not really Rik!

One thing I tend to do whichever club I'm at is sign Paul Boertein from Carlisle, who in real life, was in my sister's class at school.

Also, in real life, Paul actually signed for Derby in 1999 and made his debut replacing the injured Seth Johnson in the victory over the mackems!

MIXED BLESSINGS FOR BOERTIEN Dateline: 03/02/01 19:41:27 Paul Boertien won't be expecting a pat on the back from is brother after a sparkling debut that saw him contribute to a 1-0 victory over Sunderland. "My brother is a Sunderland fan and so are many of my friends," he revealed. "So I suspect they won't be speaking to me for a while!" Boertien carried his current good reserve form through to his first full senior game and hopes to stake a claim for a regular place with injury to favoured left wing-back Seth Johnson leaving him sidelined for another fortnight. "It's obviously up to the manager, but I hope he is convinced that I can cut it at this level and would like to think I'm in the frame for the FA Cup game next week."

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Currently nearing the end of my 1st season haveing been beaten of Arse in the Worthy Cup final and Manure in the semi's of the FA Cup. Look set to win the leage though by a rather healthy margin.

Team is....

Given Hughes Young Iriekpen (DC) Gavilan Rosicky (Wing Backs) Dyer Solano (MC) Denilson (AMC) Ameobi Montella (Strikers)

Solano has a transfer arranged to Barcelona at the end of the season for £41m. They offered it and I snapped their hands off!

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Forty one million?

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Swifty, I gave wor lass a new Iron and an apointment card for her to see a boob job specialist. Not paying for it, but I thought it was a nice thought.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

Yep £41m - its the highest price I've ever had for one of my players. I've seen Totti go for £50m though.

Just about to buy Saviola for £19m and Aimar for £19m with me cash!

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001

If your starting the game whith a 2nd/3rd division team on Champ00-01 seriously consider buying Sven Flodström who plys his trade for 'Jävre IF' in Sweden. A goal scoring machine, his price is at about £16000 at the begining, you will probably have to pay about £50000+ but cheap at the price. He's what Jim Smith once called Mick Quinn, an 'ugly duckling footballer' meaning at first glance football club were scared to invest etc. (well he hardly fitted the representative profile of a footballer did he?).

His goal scoring record on the games I've played have been outstanding, and with his records two important attributes have stayed constant - meaning to me he is not random generated player. He kicks with either foot and his finishing attribute is always 20.

I've eventually went on to win the Premership with the legend(cheat cough, cough) having a 100% goal scoring record in the league - 34 out of 34 league games. Which aint bad at all is it?? In that season he netted 47goals in all 56 league and cup games, which not even a Zlatan Ibrahimovic or Michael Owen could ever dream managing in the Champ game.

He's a weird one in the fact that his value never goes above 3.5million even when winning league titles etc. And he seems to get more goals when you play him on the left of your strikers.

Get him signed, and get him on a ten year deal!

Anyone got any more gems to share??

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2001