Okay, so pretend your single, or new in town, or looking for new friends. Maybe you don't even have to pretend. Where would you go if you wanted to meet people? Where do you meet people now that you're an adult and out of school (assuming that you are)? Where did you meet most of the friends you have now? How did you meet your significant other?

If you were looking to meet someone for a romantic relationship, where would you go? Bars? The internet? Would you take a class, join an organization, start going to church?

This is one of the hardest things about being an adult. Help our single friends out.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

Answers

I'd take a class and join organizations that interest me.

Not that I do that now, though I always whine about how I'd like to make more friends. I've met friends through the Well, and "online community" that has face to face get togethers from time to time.

My friends now are either people I've known for years or people I met through my spouse. I met him through friends.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

Yeah, folks, help a sister out.

Currently single, in a new-ish city, and I've done all the "right" things - I'm taking a class I adore, joined a health club (and am still going, even after two months!), and am trying to get involved.

Doesn't help when everyone around me is married and/or engaged.

I'm cute. I promise!! :)

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

Be open to conversation in ordinary situations. You're probably not going to strike up the friendship of your life in the grocery store, but the human contact can make you smile. If you want a boy, I wouldn't recommend Home Depot, contrary to popular belief. Yesterday I went I was the only singleton female, but all the men alone were 50+ and everyone else was in a couple, het or gay male. Absolutely take a class, either at a real school or a cc or adult ed or a free university or anything your community offers. I remember Kim Rollins saying she picked up Seattle's indie papers and found all kinds of activities to join, obscure dance classes and gallery openings and whatnot, and through them she met people.

Me, I met everyone I know at college, either when I was an undergrad or through my husband's grad program. Don't look at me. It is one of the hardest things about being an adult.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

Indeed it is a hard thing. All my friends are folks I met at college. Funny, when you move away from college and all your friends move away. Sniff, sniff.

In any case... We'll see. I'm opening up those "windows" of opportunity. Windows are open, now let's see what blows in.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

It's not just single people! I'm getting married and moving to a new city where I know absolutely no one. My new husband will be at work all day, and while I'm trying to find a job I'll have vast lonely hours ahead of me. I think it's actually harder for a couple to meet a new couple.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

There's always fandom, that's my mantra. Claire, Boskone is usually in March. Go there. You're female, they'll let you in even if you can't name all the Nebula winners.

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Walking around with my pecker hanging out has led to numerous meetings with absolute strangers. Just kidding. I vote for the church option.

(see that was 'sposed to be funny - ya know - pecker hanging out then suggesting going to church - now that I read it again, I don't find it that funny. My warped sense of humor is kinda like a seventy year old whose husband is on viagra. She straddles his skinny, wrinkled body, plunges his unnaturally rigid man meat into her, bounces up and down a coupla times, her sagging breasts droop their nipples down into his toothless mouth then his eyes roll back, he sighs, rolls over and she slides off of him and remembers why they started sleeping in separate bedrooms to begin with. I should erase the pecker/church thing but, I think I'll just leave it hanging out there and see what happens.)

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Now I see where you got your name....

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

I'd network like a mad fool, because from professional associations personal associations can surely grow!

-- Anonymous, February 08, 2001

Yeah, everyone please help me out! I am 21 years old and never gone on one single date in my life. I move around almost every 5 years, but that shouldn't contribute to me being single too much. So what does a guy gotta do? I've tried on-line, tried asking out girls I knew stuff about, tried clubbing only to be walked away from and even at college asked out a few girls that I never knew and they said that I wasn't their type. Yet people are shocked to hear that I have never had a girlfriend because can be outgoing. However I am shy around the girls sometimes, and I guess the bars are not easy for me cause I don't drink. So any suggestions would be awesome!!! I'd appreciate any and all help you can give me!!

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001

Cory ...there's always the priesthood.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001

Cory,

I suffered the same problem as you and only started really dating when I was 23. I mean, I'd been on dates before and fooled around with friends and stuff, but it just wasn't working out.

There's really no secret, except maybe (and this seems like an impossibly irony) to stop worrying about it. Just live your life and have your interests and do whatever it is you like to do and you'll meet people. One of them may wind up digging you. However, singles places, dating services etc rarely seem to work well (imho).

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001

Cory ... serious answer now ... what David said, plus, if you meet a woman you're interested in going out with, ask. Don't wait for her to make the first move, because 99 times out of 100, she won't. Don't wait for a clear, unmistakable sign that the interest is reciprocated, because you probably won't get one. You have to risk being turned down, and ask.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001

It's hard for the single gals, too. Clubs, classes, be safely friendly to strangers, etc. It seems to me there's a "window," you know, in your early to mid-twenties where everyone seems to just hook up. If you miss the window, then you need to expand your boundaries and meet new people. It's hard.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001

I've tried hitting on my girlfriend's friends. Doesn't always work out, but every once in a while it does.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2001