SHEARER RHAPSODY

Is this the real life, or Mackem fantasy? Watching the Toon slide No escape from that penalty Opened my eyes and shot to the right, you see I'm just a poor Mag, I get no sympathy Because since Bobby's come, it's time to go Don't know why, but I'm so slow Anyway that pen goes, doesn't really matter to me

Mama, just missed a pen Got a gun against my head Pull the trigger, I'll be dead Mama, Bobby had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Mama, oooooh Didn't mean to make the Toon cry But if I'm not in for training this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on Because I no longer matter

No pace, my time has come I'm playing without spine My knee's aching all the time Goodbye Toon Army, I've got to go Gotta leave you twats behind and face the truth

Mama, oooooh (Shearer let the toon doon) I don't wanna die But the whole world wishes I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a Mag Scarred face, beer gut and a dodgy moustache, oh Hutch's bolt of lightning Quinnie's header frightening me Tommy's diving (Tommy's diving) Tommy's diving (Tommy's diving) Tommy's diving, oh no! (Magnifico) I'm just a poor Mag, nobody loves me (He's just a poor Mag, no personality Don't spare his life, he's a monstrosity)

Bobby's come, time to go Will he let me go? Oh Shearer no, I will not let you go Let me go (I will not let you go) Let me go (I will not let you go) etc (I will never ever let you go, no no no no no) Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub is the devil who's inside of me

So you inject me with steroids and laugh when I cry You all used to love me, now leave me to die Oh, Bobby, can't do this to me Bobby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right our of here

I don't really matter, since that penalty I don't really matter, I don't really matter, you see (Shearer let the Toon doon

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001