Was anyone else relieved when Carter finally admitted being an addict last night and did anyone else find it particularly poignant that he admitted this to Chase of all people? Also, it was nice to hear him mention Lucy's death (referring to her as a friend) and without being overly sappy, etc.

It provided a lot of insight into his character too to hear him say how not a day goes by when he does not think about getting high. A far cry from the happy go lucky Carter of seasons past.

He deserves some quality female companionship!!

-- Lara (engleesh@aol.com), February 02, 2001

Answers

Response to Carter

I also really enjoyed this part!! (One of my favorite parts of the whole episode! (IMO)) Did anyone else notice, or is it just me, that at first it sounded like a speech he gave hundreds of times (like at AA meetings and to himself), but as he continued, the "speechness" quality disapeared, and he was saying thing from his heart?

-- Irene (dot_5m@yahoo.com), February 02, 2001.

Response to Carter

This also was one of my favorite parts. It was the first time that we hear Carter say that he has a drug problem. It was good to hear him admit that. Noah Wyle did such a great job in this section. He can put so much emotion into somthing.

-- Jen (sjcpuma@yahoo.com), February 02, 2001.

Response to Carter

I too loved this scene. I reminded me of "old" ER, where these lovely, outside-the-hospital scenes revealed so much about the characters. It was well-written, and well-acted. More of that!

-- Chris (chrisalvarez@ivillage.com), February 02, 2001.

Response to Carter's admission (meaningless thread title: Carter)

I have never cried during an eppy of ER, even during All in the Family, but after hearing Carter sya that he thinks of shooting up every moment of the day, I started crting. I have no idea why. I was truly sucked in and deeply moved by that monologue of Noah Wyle's. Anyone else could have done it, but noone else could have given the deep insight and feeling that Noah Wyle did. That was truly great. Did you see Chases reaction at the beginnig when John started talking? I thought it was great.

-- Kimmy (swiss_cheesed1953@yahoo.com), February 02, 2001.

While I agree that the things that were said needed to be said, I wish that the writers had not had him have a monologue. To me it seemed very unnatural. However, I'm glad that we didn't hear him share "his story" at an AA meeting. It just seemed a bit forced to me.

-- Emma (webbef@hotmail.com), February 02, 2001.

Response to Carter's admission (meaningless thread title: Carter)

I think that this was the best way to have Carter "share" his story, without TPTB actually showing him at a meeting and violating the anonymous part of NA or AA. IMHO, I also think that he has now finally admitted that he is an addict, and that is step 1. He said in his monolouge (sp?) that he just did what he had to do to get by. I think that now is where the REAL healing for Carter begins. I hope that TPTB have Carter really work the program and not trivalize the work that addicts/alcoholics do every day in NA/AA.

Just my 2 cents worth!!

-- Jenn (psychomom1974@yahoo.com), February 02, 2001.

I thought this was a great way to have Carter finally admit that he is an addict. Mouthing the words to strangers is one thing -- finally admitting it to Chase, who is not only a close relative, but also the symbol of what John thinks he is better than, is a great way to handle it.

Okay, maybe there is a chance for the mature Carter.

-- Kate (yfpy0050@yorku.ca), February 02, 2001.

I loved it! This episode really brought the quality back, absolutely. We've seen Carter fight with his mixed emotions about this a few times: w/ Mark outside in May Day ("I'm gonna be fine...or at least I hope...no, I will be"), w/ Gamma earlier this season, w/ Mark, arguing about the tests just before Mark seizes, and every time he does it great. The way he rushed through the things he didn't want to say (the stabbing, his friend dying, the addiction), and then accepted them, being bluntly honest, slowing down, realizing, etc. It was great to watch and something I've been waiting to see for awhile. Even I, naively, have not been able to see Carter as a true addict, for the exact reasons he gave, but as he was, I was convinced after that. The scene was done brilliantly.

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), February 02, 2001.

While I did like the fact that Carter admitted his addiction to someone, I wish it would have been someone other than Chase. I think that after the deal with Benton and how he reacted when he learned of Carter's relapse that if Carter would have said his little monologue to Benton it would have been much more effective. Of course, this is just MHO. I can't really explain it, but I just felt like telling it to someone that would hold him more accountable would be more meaningful. I was disappointed in Benton's reaction to Carter when he found out he had relapsed. Maybe that little speech would have helped Benton understand where Carter's coming from.

-- amanda (amanda.rehm@home.com), February 02, 2001.

Did anyone else notice how similar Carter's confession was to Benton's talking to his son's mother about his love for the boy -- "he is the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing at night, etc." I don't know if it was deliberate, but I thought it brought home in a very poignant way how destructive drug addiction is --it takes up the same space that love and human connection should in the mind and soul but it disconnects and destroys rather than connecting and supporting. It helps to show why such men as Carter and Chase would destroy themselves over it.

-- linda-anne Rebhun (linda-anne.rebhun@yale.edu), February 02, 2001.

The monologue: hated it. Couldn't it have been done better? However, the sadness on Noah Wyle's face when he finally concluded, "I'm a drug addict" was well done.

-- Tracy (bankybooda@aol.com), February 02, 2001.

I think the reason it was a monologue was because we were supposed to realize that this is the first time Carter has really admitted all this to *himself*. Chase may have been a catalyst, and I think the way Benton treated him was definitely a catalyst- John doesn't want Peter to treat him like that. I loved Chase's reaction at the end! What do you say to a confession like that?! Ask if he brought fries! :-)

-- Maureen (shepcaff@ix.netcom.com), February 02, 2001.

I thought that the monologue was very well done; great acting by Wyle and even Chase! Anyway, Carter's speech reminded me, in a very odd way, of Susan's talks with her therapist in "Take these broken wings." reguarding Little Susie. There was that aspect of "unnatural- ness" there too (although I thought that the *way* Carter spoke was very natural; the halting, the "ums", the hand gestures)... just one person talking to someone we couldn't see. But it was cathartic for her, and like-wise, I think, for Carter.

-- Samira (scarlet1016@email.com), February 02, 2001.

I totally agree with you, Maureen!!!!

-- Sandra I. (sandra_515@excite.com), February 02, 2001.

I totally agree with you, Maureen!!!! I loved this scene!!

-- Sandra I. (sandra_515@excite.com), February 02, 2001.

That is an interesting point Linda-ann. That whole scene with Chase is everything I've been waiting for months to hear from Carter. He is not just coasting, or going along *with the program* just so he can get back to his job and his life, he realizes he is an addict. He's not smarmy Carter anymore, he's fallible Carter. I loved Chase's reaction too. There was a moment of surprise and then he asks for fries! At least Carter got his cousin eating again. I wanted to see more with Benton, especially to see BEnton support Carter. Their relationship seemed to have gone backwards, when CArter was always trying to gain his approval and Benton was pushing him away. I can understand Benton is disappointed in him and I was pleased he went to bat for Carter against Kerry, but I wish they had had more of a heart to heart talk then Carter breezing through his explanation that he slipped and walking out. I suppose he still didn't realize and didn't want Benton to know how much he was addicted and that his recovery will be a permanent journey. I hope we see these two interact more in the next few months (in a positive way)

-- Laura (laurelc@wincom.net), February 02, 2001.

I don't think Kerry was too harsh on Carter. I think she was fair and she does care for Carter recovery from his addiction. I thought it was good that she did not tell Benton about his diversion program. It really is n9one of Benton'd business. It was up to Carter to tell Benton. While it was nice to see Benton fight for Carter when he did not know all the facts, I hope you are not knocking caring for how she has dealt with Carter.

-- brenda (jckwfan@aol.com), February 02, 2001.

I think Kerry was fair to Carter too. He could have been fired outright I imagine, or been sent to rehab (like he feared). The conditions are exactly what he had to deal with when he first came back. I think this time around he will deal with his struggle differently. You can see how much Kerry wants to trust him and it hurt her to find out he slipped up. Not just on a professional level but personally as well. I'd like to see more of his colleagues and friends support him as he goes through his second probation period. Even just brief scenes of Carter talking with Mark, Peter, Kerry, Deb etc would be nice, just so people are touching base with him (and each other as they all face their own problems).

-- Laura (laurelc@wincom.net), February 03, 2001.

Oh boy, I sure was relieved...I'd been waiting for months for Carter to talk about it--it was so obvious that he wasn't taking his recovery seriously, and wasn't owning up to his disease. I think that's why that soliloquy made me cry, because it had been such a long time coming!

-- LeeS (binkyinc@xsite.net), February 03, 2001.

I totally agree w/ Laura about people checking up on him. I'm so relieved that Benton was so concerned about carter's program, and although I didn't like his later reaction to Carter's slip up, I think it opens up for a a few more scenes w/ them (although we never saw what happened w/ Cleo's disaproval of Carter). As for Kerry, she was exactly how I thought she'd be. She was stern, clear, but compassionate. She didn't yell at him once, and she knows Carter's taking it seriously, maybe even more so than last time, w/ the way he thanked her and assured her. If you think about it, despite most of our forgiveness to Carter due to the circumstances (which largly includes myself) he *is* technically stealing drugs from the hospital, and Kerry's allowing him to go back to his 90 days. SHe wants the best for him.

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), February 03, 2001.