Thanks to Ken you all know it was my birthday today - the big five 0 no less. Big deal, I hear you say but stick with this tale - it gets better.

One of the kids at school, who is a footie nut and follows Port Vale everywhere, arranged a treat for me. She had written to one of my heros (and friends) John Rudge, former Vale manager, and asked him to come into school to make a presentation for my birthday. This had all been arranged with the assistance of some staff.

So there I was sitting in my classroom after school, recovering from the ravages of Year 9 nutters when several staff appeared at the door and in walks Kirsty (the pupil) with John Rudge. I am, in fact, the recipient of a Rudgiegram! But wait, it gets better.

He gave me this present from Kirsty which was a framed print of loads of old Vale memorabilia, and then he said he'd been in touch with Newcastle as well. He produces this framed certificate from the Toon wishing me best wishes on my 50th (yes, I admit it) birthday. He told me he was a bit disappointed they hadn't sent something a bit more personal and so had rung them again. He then produces a brown envelope contain a letter ..........

Dear Jean

I understand from John Rudge that you are an exiled Newcastle United Supporter and for several years have been living in Stoke-on-Trent. Whilst you have taken to watching one of the local teams (not Stoke City!!) I understand you have not lost your true allegiance and travel to watch the Magpies wherever and whenever possible.

On behalf of everyone at Newcastle United, I write to wish you a very happy 50th birthday and hope you enjoy you very special day.

With kind regards

BOBBY ROBSON

........ and yes, it's signed by YBR in person!!!!!!!

Telegrams from the Queen? ......... you can bloody stuff them .... look what I've got!!

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

Answers

To the answers page.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

Brilliant Jacko. A saint and a god - all in one day. But it was naughty of you to lie about your age. I'm sure they'd have done exactly the same if you'd told them you were really only 35.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

That's wonderful, Jacko! You'll never forget this one! :-)

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

Excellent Jacko. I went to University at Stoke (as you probably know) and some of my friends were on the same course as John Rudges daughter and they all said he was such a nice guy and what a top effort by YBR.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

Brilliant one Jacko....well pleased for you.

Its my birthday in few weeks, in fact it is just days after I take the Dyke shillings and leave the BBC after 21 years......who's gonna arrange something like that for me?

no bugga....boo hoo.....nobody loves me like that.....boo hoo!

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2001

Fantastic Jacko!! :))

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

Jacko, that's brilliant! Really pleased for you.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

Great story Jacko. Your class has done you proud. Jacko Five-O. It's got a nice ring to it.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

It gives you a lovely warm glow just thinking about it. Now, has Bobby ever drunk a pint in the Free Trade....

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

Top day Jacko - you glory hunter!

50 isn't so bad, and remember you're only as old as the person you feel, or something like that...!

Happy Half Century - welcome to the Club.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

Top story Jacko - you glory hunter!

50 isn't so bad, and remember you're only as old as the person you feel, or something like that...!

Happy Half Century - welcome to the Club.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

You won`t be forgetting this birthday in a hurry then Jacko!? Excellent stuff! (:o)

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001

The trouble is, Clarky, the person I feel is even older!

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2001