Dear Abby

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unk's Wild Wild West : One Thread

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in the suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Gore????

Sincerely, Worried About My Reputation

-- Barry (bchbear863@cs.com), January 27, 2001

Answers

Barry,

And I thought you lived in West Virginia... *joke*

Sheeple

-- (Sheeple@Greener.Pastures), January 28, 2001.


Sounds like a fine young man.

-- Not My President (not@my.president), January 28, 2001.

Dear Worried,

No way! You sound like a typical Republican scum, so there is no need to worry about your reputation, it is already on the same level with horse shit. But a true right-winger would NEVER admit they know anyone who likes Gore. You need to maintain your stupid ignorant pride, it's the only thing you have.

-- Abby (believe.me@I.know), January 28, 2001.


Manny should keep his private life to himself...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), January 28, 2001.

Barry... Tim McVeigh, who actually killed many woman and children, would have voted for Bush (he said so.) The crackpot/losers even themselves out, and what your left with is, well, in this case, Dub'ya. You're welcome to him as your new hero.

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), January 28, 2001.


Moderation questions? read the FAQ