The Al Gore Virus...Causes your computer to just keep counting and counting...

The Clinton Virus...Gives yo a 7 inch hard drive w/no memory.

The Monica Virus...sucks all the memory out of your computer then emails everyone about what it did

The Ron Reagan Virus...saves all your data but 4gets where it is stored

The Joe Buttafuco virus...only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt virus...reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it thru windows

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), January 22, 2001

Answers

Baby you forgot the dreaded Manny Virus and it's here.

-- Manny (No@dip.com), January 22, 2001.

THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)

THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)

THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)

THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted)

THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)

THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back)

-- Malcolm Taylor (taylorm@es.co.nz), January 22, 2001.