I don't even know how to word this as a question. I'm sitting in my office, browsing the Forum, and this guy walks in and says, "Is this the place?" Stupid, unsuspecting me replies, "What place?" "The place to leave the free water." GROAN. I tell him, truthfully, "No, we actually have too much water right now." (Oddly enough, our water supplier made its monthly visit just this morning, and I had them take away an empty bottle and not give us any new ones, because we've somehow become WAY stockpiled over the last few months-- so I was speaking the absolute truth.)
Undaunted, he said his company could save us $150 a month over our current vendor. I invited him to leave his information, and explained that I am not the person who makes such decisions here. But could he just leave it? Of course not.
"What about home delivery?" he persisted. I politely told him I don't need water delivered at home. "What kind of water do you drink at home?" (Argh! Fuck OFF!) "I have a Brita," I said, flatly. "How often do you use it? Every day?" he continued, totally ignoring my obvious disinterest. "I don't want water delivered to my home," I said, looking him in the eye.
"Well, I can set you up for home delivery, we deliver in San Francisco..."
"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME???!!" I wanted to scream, but instead, I said, firmly and coldly, emphasising each word, "I am not interested."

I guess my question is, how do y'all deal with The Hard Sell? I am still speechless over this guy's approach. Yeah, pester me til I'm all cranky, THAT'll make me wanna buy from you!

As Charlie Brown used to say, "AAAUUGH."

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

Answers

Good question, because I waver between being assertive and a total wuss all of the time. How I defeat THS on the phone: before it starts! Since my last name is difficult to pronounce, I can tell immediately when someone who doesn't know me is trying to sound it out. I lie and say "she isn't home right now" and am off the phone in twenty seconds. In person: I say, "I'm very busy right now. Please give me your card, so I can call you if I have any questions." and then I walk away, pick up the phone and check my voicemail messages, or do something else to convey how busy I am. I don't like giving other people the power to make me flustered, so I try to nip these things as soon as possible (ie, before I get enraged and rude).

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

I absolutely hate THS, but I can hardly ever bring myself to be rude. Usually I just adopt what I call my "polite but firm" attitude, which works nine times out of ten. For the tenth person, I combine "polite but firm" with actively walking away or hanging up. For instance, "No, thank you, goodbye" as the person is trying to interrupt me and then just hanging up. There have been a few times I've been angry enough to tell them to bugger off, but even then I'm pathetically polite about it. "You are being extremely pushy and I don't appreciate it. I'm going to hang up now and please don't call me back." God. I even say "please". I think I need help. :)

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

Since I'm an IT manager at my company, I get cold sales calls all the freakin' time. Most of them are pushy bastards. You can always tell how it's going to go, just from the first minute. You know, all the small talk ("How are you today?" and sometimes even relatively personal stuff as though we're old friends) and they try to sound all buddy-buddy with you. They usually start with "Hello, Paul, how are you doing today?" to which I reply blandly, "Fine." "That's good. Paul, I was told you are the guy who makes all the purchasing decisions there. Is that true?" At that point I always stop them cold and ask what they're calling about. If they hedge any, I get a little more pointed in my question and ask what are they selling. That saves me a lot of time, because then they typically get to their point and I can tell them no thanks and hang up. I don't think I'm ever rude, never more rude than they are, but I don't have time for this crap so I tolerate it as little as possible.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

yawp, it's the in-person factor that messes me up-- I'm a pro at dealing with these chuckleheads over the phone. My boss likes me to super-screen his calls. It never fails to crack me up how cranky (and rude) some of these Hard Sellers get when I ask, "What's the nature of your call?"
"It's a personal matter." *rolling eyes* Dude, the people who really DO call my boss with personal matters never call them that! It's also easy to pinpoint the Sellers because they call my boss Peter, which he hates. (He goes by Pete.)
I likewise play receptionist at home on the rare occasion I pick up before screening (via answering machine)-- "She's not in, can I take a message?" They almost never leave one.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

I don't know why this works. I have wonderful success with this phrase; "You cannot convince me to buy *******".

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

A person who is trying to sell you something will always begin by asking questions; it's a way of controlling the conversation. Don't play along, as hard as that can be for those of us trained to be polite and keep the conversational ball in play.

I usually screen my calls, but on the rare occasion I don't and the person on the other line asks for me by my full name or "Mrs. MyLastName" I just say, "She's not here right now, can I take a message?" Of course they don't leave one...and I don't have to listen to their spiel *or* be rude (unless I'm in the mood for that, of course).

In person, if someone approaches me with some kind of sales pitch or hard luck story I either say absolutely nothing until they go away, or smile and say "No thank you" to anything they say, until they go away. YMMV, but these techniques have served me well.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

I never answer the phone or my door unless I'm expecting someone to call or visit, so I never have to deal with these kind of people. I don't know what I would do if I had to talk to one of them. Probably just hang up or run away.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

I'm such a baby when it comes to this. I can't stand to be rude to someone, either on the phone or in person. On the phone, like a lot of you, I say politely..."She's not here, can I take a message?".If they actually want to leave a message, then I *pretend* to write it down. I haven't dealt with many in person, so I'm not sure what I'd do. Maybe run or act like I'm crazy?

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

I cut off phone solicitors immediately. Yeah, I understand they're only doing their job, yada yada yada, but they're wasting both my time and theirs when they could be actually selling to someone else. The important thing to remember when dodging their calls is to say "put me on your do not call list." They are legally obligated to do so. If you really want to be nasty, document it, and if they call back, you can have them fined them big time. My number used to be a business number (and got recycled as residential, how nice), so I get TOO many telemarketing calls.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

I was at my mom's last weekend and she got a call, someone apparently asking for her husband. Since the call came in on her business line she *knew* it was a telemarketer.

I was amazed to hear her say "He's dead". Then she hung up. Cracked my shit up.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

Aaaooowww, soliciting is one of my biggest pet peeves. Evil, evil, evil. Phone soliciting, especially, should be outlawed. I'm serious. Gram used to get two or three calls a day for DECADES, sometimes as early as 6 in the morning and as late as 9. Nothing can convince me that it is necessary to sell ANYTHING over the phone! My favorite was the "we wanted to see if you were interested in selling your house" that she'd get at least once a month. I begged her to answer "Why... why YES, yes I WOULD like to sell my house, come to think of it! How much will you give me?" ;) Donations, long-distance rates, magazines, this foundation, that good cause- The calls were endless, intrusive, and unbearable.

I usually hang up on phone solicitors. Do NOT call my home and try to sell me something, dammit! I had a period during my Sr year in college when I was working from home on final papers, and kept getting 2-3 calls a day from Visa trying to get me to switch to some AT&T long distance plan and/or sign up for United frequent flyer miles. Every time the phone rang, 1) I was interrupted from being deeply immersed in my work and 2) if I was online researching, it booted me off and froze the computer. I told them several times I wasn't interested. I tried telling them it was a bad time to call, but that earned the bright "well, when's a good time? We can call back!" I finally told them not to call me again. "Look, you people have called me at LEAST 2 times a day for a solid week! I'm trying to work! STOP CALLING!" "Well," the guy said, "you need to write a letter to our such-and-such department-" For the first time in my life, I yelled at a stranger. "NO! YOU listen to ME! I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WRITE LETTERS! I am trying to finish four final papers and an independent study project so I can graduate next week. By law, if I request you to stop calling, YOU MUST STOP CALLING! And if you call again, I'm calling a lawyer!"

The calls stopped. Thank God.

The hardest sell I ever got was this magazine salesperson (yup) who accosted me on my half-hour lunch break when I was trying to get into my car to leave to run to the bank. I am still ashamed I was so weak. :( This tall blue-eyed blonde guy comes up and starts, all friendly, engaging me in conversation ("I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry- " "Oh, it'll just take a moment!"), telling me that he's working hard to sell these subscriptions to win a trip to Europe, and asks if I like magazines. "I don't really read magazines," I say truthfully. He then asks me what I'm interested in. "Books, literature," I say. Wotta coincidence, he says! He is offering a subscription to Publisher's Weekly! "I work in a bookstore," I say politely, pointing to the store front. "I have access to all the magazines I need." Oh, but these are delivered to my HOME! "Considering I spend more time at work than at home, that's not really enough-" Oh, but why don't I just take a look at what he has to offer? I, sitting in my car, with this clown blocking my door (a potentially-threatening invasion of personal space), am repeating "I cannot afford a magazine subscription, I'm a student, I have no time or money for magazines, I don't read magazines, no, I don't want to give one as a gift, I'm up to my eyeballs in magazines at work!"... but he's managed to hand me a catalogue and is showing me this and that. He flirts. He smiles. He looks deeply into my eyes. He keeps touching my knee and shoulder. He says things like "Someone as smart as you ___" and "Someone as pretty as you____." I am actually wondering in panic if this guy is, like, using the magazines as an excuse to ask me out.

He keeps asking me about interests and hobbies, and pointing out magazines, and telling me about how much he wants to go to Europe, etc., etc. My lunch break is dwindling. "Look," I say, finally mustering up some firmness to my voice, "every spare penny I have goes toward books for school, bills and gas. I. Cannot. Afford. A. Magazine. Subscription. No."

His sparkling blue eyes, which had been flirting with me for 10 minutes, go cold. Immediatly disinterested and aloof, he stands up and starts walking away. I, retard that I am, actually *feel guilty* and stammer an apology. "Whatever" he says cooly, not looking at me, already walking away, as stupid me feels like the Class Gump who'd just been shut down by the Cute Popular Boy.

Good God.

So as a result, I tend to shut down solicitors pretty darn quick. It's harder in person, as klee said, but I still have a low threshhold for being pressured/guilted into buying something.

This epic has been brought to you by

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

"Excuse me, I am not going to change my mind and you are going to force me to be abruipt and rude with you if you don't stop repeating yourself. Why won't you allow me to tell you "No" in a polite fashion? If I have to get abrupt with you, I will, but I'd prefer to have you accept "no thank you" gracefully and go away now." That sometimes works. If face to face, I usually just resort to broken- record repetition of "no, thank you" until they get bored 7 leave, however.

Getting rid of Hard Sell People over the phone is easier. First of all, anyone referring to me as Mrs. LastName or asking for Mr. LastName gets told that they have the wrong number. Which is true, as there is no one fitting either description in my house.

You have to be willing to hang up on someone if they won't let you be nice about it. It's your time and your phone line and you don't owe them anything but initial courtesy and politeness, and if they refuse to respond to that, then rudeness is the option they have forced you to resort to. No guilt.

Actually, like Gwen, I get Jehovah's Witnesses a lot. Well, our neighborhood does. My roommate usually answers the door, which is a good thing. I get annoyed to be dragged out of bed early on a weekend by people who assume I either have no religion or it is inferior to theirs and thus I must be witnessed to and bothered on my day off. The first time a particular JW comes to the door, I refuse the tracts and tell them politely that I am happy with my spiritual and religious beliefs and I ask them to take us off their "visit" list. The second time the same JW team shows up? It's only happened once. I told them they were tresspassing AND soliciting and neither was appreicated and to kindly bug the hell off. Which they did, muttering about what a heathen evil bitch I was the whole time. I just find it incredibly rude to operate on the assumption that someone you don't even know wants or needs to be "saved" or "witnessed to" or whatever. Religion and spiritual beliefs are private, and someone coming to my front door, wakingme up, is only going to get the bare minimum of politeness.

As for other hard sells, it is an oft-repeated suggestion online and elsewhere, but if telemarketers bother you, offer to call them back at their home number during their dinner hour and see how long they hang on the line after that. I know people have to make a living, but we have an outgoing answering machine message (or we usually do) that points out that we need no siding, photographs, insurance, pressure washing, etc., nor do we have cars to give away, nor do we contribute to charities except through work. It cuts down on all but the rudest / most oblivious unwanted salesperson calls.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

My brother gets a lot of JWs visiting too. He always tells them "Sorry, I didn't see the accident." Then again, he's also so evil that once, when he saw them making their way down the other side of the street, he set up his Ouija board and some candles and turned on some death metal. When they started down his side of the street, they paused, took in the scene at the window, and quickly bypassed his house.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

Alison, my home number used to be the number of a local bail bondsman before it was mine. So we got lots of calls at night from pay phones and such. People would actually leave messages asking how come their honey hasn't been sprung from jail yet. My wife changed the message on our phone to explain this is a private residence and not a bail bondsman, but we still got the occasional stray who wouldn't listen. Now we use the solicitor screening from Qwest that answers every call before ringing our phones with a recorded voice stating that solicitors should hang up and take us off their lists. That thing is like magic, because BOOM overnight our solicitation calls dropped down to zero and have stayed there ever since. I only wish I had that at work.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

I used to deal with walk-in solicitors all the time at my job in Omaha - "We do not accept solicitation" or "We have a company policy to not speak to solicitor ", almost always got me a "I'm not a Sicilian but thanks for the compliment". I swear. I think their base company told them that was a funny response. It was never funny.

Not only have I had lots of JWs, but I had a Baptist church sending out members of the flock to knock on my door for awhile. The JWs are easy, I always thank them for caring but let them know that "I practice Wicca and am very happy in my spirituality". One JW will always say "I'm not familiar with that religion" and the other will say "I've heard a little about it" (with a little frown). They bad cop/good cop me EVERY TIME! Then I invite them to join me in a ritual circle, and if they will give me their home numbers I will call them and schedule a time when I can introduce them to "hands-on rituals". They never give me their number. I always shake their hand, and even though it takes a little bit of my time, I always enjoy it and am happy to know that I was a good representative for a much maligned faith.

The Baptists were pushier, and after 2 visits in which I told them that I was not interested, finally the 3rd time I told the two middle aged gentlemen that I practiced Wicca. They bad cop/good copped me, but the bad cop actually wrinkled his nose and looked at me with disgust. So I stopped being nice and told them that "I am obviously much happier and much more comfortable with my relationship with God than you, and I would never come to your door to proselytize to your or your children". They never came back. But I was not pleased because that was a town heavily populated with KKK members and other assorted maniacs, and they knew where I lived. Evidently, they decided to just let God punish me in his own way.

And the Gods rewarded me by moving me far away.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

I live by Caller ID and haven't had to deal with phone solicitors (or ex-boyfriends, or pain-in-the-butt friends) in over 2 years. I think the greatest mechanism someone could invent in the world (besides one that would, you know, maybe cure cancer) would be something that works as an In-Person Caller ID: some sort of screen you could look at people through that would say: "He's just trying to sell you something" or "Loser". This is not an original idea of mine, I'm sure.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

One time, a door-to-door salesman came to the door, and asked me to get my husband. I said, "Who are you?" He said, "I'm a friend, just get him please." (presumably, a friend would've known we weren't yet married. And would know better than to treat me like the butler.) I slammed the door in his face. He knocked again, and admitted he was a salesman. Too late, sorry. I doubt he tried that trick again, though.

Best thing to do is get on your state's No Call list, if they have one. Then, with exceptions for charities and existing business relationships, you are entitled to a fee if you get a telemarketing call. In Georgia it's $200.

Best tip for getting rid of the Baptists/Mormons/JWs: say you're Catholic. I have an acquaintance who's a Pagan, and that didn't work, the Mormons still thought he was redeemable. But they *all* figure Catholics are the zombies of the Pope and move on down the block.

I used to be an IT Manager, too, and the only thing more annoying than the sales calls (especially the Toner Phoners) was the neverending "surveys" from list companies. Good god, those things would take 30 minutes out of your day. It got so, if I had the time, I'd just give deliberately wrong information to screw up the file. Number of Macs? Yeah, we were a Mac shop, 30 users. O/S we were using for the Macs? VM. And a little Xenix. Small humor, but I needed every bit I could get in that job.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

What is with those magazine people??? I got approached by one on campus too, and I couldn't end the conversation to save my life. He had me sitting down talking to him.

I don't think Catholicism will drive Mormons away (my sister's on a Mormon mission in a predominantly Catholic country) but telling them you're not interested and shutting the door usually works.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

VM on a Mac! Ha! Thanks for the laugh. I presume those 30 Macs were just one big cluster? :-D

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

At my nerd job I get cold-called for all sorts of IT stuff, and it always just blows my mind how rude most phone salespersons are. Even worse are the people who would call the operator and ask to be transferred to the System Admin (ME) and then when I answered my phone would assume I'm some secretary and ask for the System Admin again. As if my girly little voice could not belong to someone with technical ability and purchasing authority. Yes, I'll transfer you... TO A DIAL TONE!

At work it was kind of amusing to play along and really antagonize the callers, but at home I have a different strategy. Rather than hanging up on telemarketers I ask them to hold on, then just put the phone down and go back to whatever I was doing. It's always interesting to see how long they'll hold on for to sell me carpet cleaning or whatever. BTW, Hi everyone! I guess I felt up to delurking today.

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2001

Heh, Dwanollah- your brother sounds cool. I have a friend who, when confronted with Jehovah or LDS people, says in a cheerful, friendly tone, "Thanks, but my heart belongs to Satan. Feel free to come in for a cup of tea, though!" Wish I had the cojones to do that.

-- Anonymous, January 18, 2001

I saw this interview with a reformed telemarketer who was of the opinion that telephone solicitation was not necessary. He suggest just what Kristina does. He says that most telemarketers will wait for 5 to 9 minutes when put on hold. If everyone did that to telemarketers they would be out of business soon enough. Seeing as for that time they are on hold they aren't pestering someone else.

If someone happens to approach/call/email me with something I might actually be interested in, I don't let them sell it to me. I go out the next day and look for the information myself. My personal way of letting them know that that particular sales tactic won't work with me. With email that means I don't click on a URL they have sent me that looks like it might identify who sent it (i.e. affiliate address). Also, never respond to spam even if it is to ask to be removed from the list. Unless it’s from a reputable company that has something to lose by a law suit from irate customers, responding to an email to be removed will put you on a list of “live” email address. So instead of getting less you’ll get more junk email.

The other thing I was thinking while reading everyone's responses was that why would you want to be rude? Too many of us confuse stern with rude. I'm not only polite to people because of their feelings but for mine as well. I like thinking of myself as a nice person. Just because you don't deserve for me to be nice to you doesn't mean that I want to be an ass to you and compromise my personal integrity. I figure if I’ve warned you I’m going to hang up, walk away, or close the door and you keep talking, I’m not being rude when I do so. I warned you.

-- Anonymous, January 18, 2001