A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him, "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV?

You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ."

The man sighs and says, "It's started . . . "

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), January 16, 2001

Answers

Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a magic Genie's lamp

The Genie came out and said: "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."

The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So she became a redhead.

The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette.

The third blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man.

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), January 16, 2001.

LOL. I liked it, Cherri.

My favorite lame blonde joke-

Two blondes taking a walk in the country. First blonde stops, stares at the ground and tells the other; Look, wolf tracks. Second blonde also stops, stares at the ground and says; No, I think those are bear tracks.

...then the train hit 'em.

(sorry)

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.

Why does a man have a hole in the end of his penis?????

.

. .

. . . .

. So he can get oxygen to his brain........

-- Blondie (smarter@than.that), January 16, 2001.

How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), January 16, 2001.

A blonde goes out for a walk.

She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoohoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), January 16, 2001.

What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket shopping cart?

The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

-- Johnny Canuck (j_canuck@hotmail.com), January 17, 2001.

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited and she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping and to the beauty parlor. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hon," he says, "How do you like your new phone?"

"I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor?"

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), January 18, 2001.

Hee hee, I just LOVE blonde jokes :-)

sumer who is a brunette. yipppeee!!

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), January 19, 2001.