Maybe this needs it's own topic? What do you think of Celebrity Adoptions? Is it "easier" for celebrities to adopt than regular folks? Is it happening more often now than in the past?

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Answers

I'm torn. Part of me gets pissed off when single celebrities get to adopt children with no wait when couples who have tried for years and can't have children have to jump through hoops to maybe be considered, and then have to wait for possibly years to finally adopt a child.

But then there are couples like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman who have adopted, and I think that is fine. Maybe she can't have kids. Sharon Stone has said that she had 5 or 6 miscarriages before she adopted, and I am happy for her and her husband.

I guess I'm more annoyed at the fact that regular men and women who don't have a spouse/partner can't adopt, but if he or she stars in a popular television show or movie they can get a baby whenever he or she feels like it. Rosie O'Donnell really annoys me, because she has repeatedly said how the lack of a mother in her life really screwed her up and that was through no fault of her father - her mom died. She is deliberately denying her children a father, so it seems two- faced of her to cry about having no mother but saying it is fine that she is the only parent in her home.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

As someone who is very nervous about what I will face when I go to adopt a child, I get pissed when I see celebrities picking up babies with what seems to be the ease of picking up a quart of milk on the way home from work. And I'm constantly amazed at how easily they not only adopt a child, but it's always a healthy white baby (I'm dying to do a Raising Arizona quote right now, but I'll restrain myself). I wonder if they are all using the same "baby connection", and I wonder how someone who recently collapsed from stress and dehydration got a baby. And I wonder what happens when that baby is no longer a baby, but is a gawky, crabby, pre-teen.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

I was looking around on websites to see what the average wait is for a newborn. Depending on who you ask, anywhere from 2-10 years. Of course, we don't really know whether these celebrities put in applications years ago... It just seems like they don't have to wait at all and that makes it so unfair.

I had heard a little while back that Rosie was talking about quitting her show to go work for an adoption organization. Weird.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Although I always enjoy a chance to slam Nicole Kidman, I do know 3rd- hand that she has had miscarriages. When I read about Calista adopting, it was hard not to think that she's probably physically incapable of becoming pregnant, and it's doubtful that someone with that shitty of a body image could handle gaining pregnancy weight.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

I agree with y'all, but I just want to be nitpicky about one thing Robyn- Nicole and Tom's son is black. Mia Farrow adopted several asian children. So they're not all white babies.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Go to the Reality TV thread and read my response to all of you who thought I was being unfair about the Lockhart adoption. I have nothing against adoptions, women or celebrities. I know more about the subject of adoption than many people. Single movie stars who adopt children are "buying pets" in most cases and past histories of Hollywood adoptions bear me out. There are exceptions, but believe me, allowing a person like Lockhart or Rosie to adopt children is criminal. I say this in defense of the kids. If you don't agree with me...I don't care. We'll just agree to disagree.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Okay, so I find Rosie annoying as hell, but she seems to be an okay parent. It could all be a big act, but she's not exactly Joan Crawford.

I think lots of people shouldn't have children by any means, but for the most part, none of those people ask me my opinion.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

I should have probably given you all a disclaimer on my comments surrounding children. I am always wistful and a little sad when I think about having a child, but my baby switch got flipped over the holiday, so now I'm hormonally raging and hostile towards anyone who gets to have a baby while I'm living babyless. I hate Callista Flockhart for getting to have a baby when I *really* want one and I'm sure my want is a lot stronger and bigger than her want and compared to me she doesn't deserve to have a baby at all...ever. So if I sound a little bitter, it's only because I'm very very bitter.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Speaking of "celeb adoptions"...how about celebs getting to "adopt" replacement organs before regular people...hello, David Crosby?

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Jumping in to point out that it's not just their star status that nets these folks quick adoptions, it's their $$$. They can go through private adoption agencies much more quickly than normal middle class folks. Personally, I know two well-heeled couples who bought themselves adoptions, and unfortunately their children are being brought up by nannies (gotta work to get that extra SUV). Sad situations.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

I always go for the tangent. As far as organ transplants go, organs simply go to the best match, no matter who it is. I worked for a Medical Center for the Federal Bureau of Prisons and our dialysis patients were frequently getting transplants. It doesn't make sense to transplant into someone who is less than the best match. At the very least, it wastes an organ.

As far as celebrity adoptions go, I don't know if they got a child any faster than anyone else. Maybe just having lots of money allows anyone to go through a private agency and expidite the process as previously mentioned. I figure most of the kids will be raised by nannies. I hope I'm wrong.

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2001

Maybe it's good that children are getting adopted and not sitting in homes ( group homes )it is a little unfair that celebs are getting to adopt much faster, but the governament should make it a little easier on middle class folks...waiting 10 years to adopted a child...is crazy

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Lilipili-right on. In my full-on hormonally fueled anger towards Calista, I didn't think about Mia or any of the other celebrities who have adopted babies of different ethnicities. I wonder if she would irritate me so if she were extra large instead of skeletal.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

I *believe* (correct me if I'm wrong) that one of Rosie's daughters, adopted or foster, is Asian. I think.

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2001

Rosie's foster child is Hispanic, because she had to learn Spanish to be able to talk to her. I don't like how she lets her foster child call her Mommy. I understand how she wants the foster child to feel wanted as much as her adopted kids, but what is going to happen when the foster child leaves Rosie's home?

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

Thanks, Nicole. I stand corrected.

This is just a maybe, since I obviously don't know much about the situation (since I thought the kid was Asian, I guess not, eh? Dummy) but maybe, since the little girl is 'older' (not a baby) Rosie fostered her with an eye to adoption. I know here that there are fostered kids who they know are to be adopted out, and the foster parents are on kind of a 'trial-run'. A friend's nephews were taken from their parents and placed in a foster home that had specified wanting to eventually adopt. They wouldn't let any family adopt the kids, because then there was no way to guarantee their mom wouldn't have contact with them. It was all very sad.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

Deb, the only reason why I know about Rosie is because while I was unemployed in the fall, the t.v. by the computer only had rabbit ears and Rosie's show was the least horrible of everything on from 4-5 p.m. on network television.

I have no idea if she plans on adopting the little girl, but she did stress on her show that this child was a foster child. I can just see her throwing a fit and trying to fight the powers-that-be if that little girl's parents came back to take her home with them. I had a friend whose parents took in a foster child with no intention of adopting. After having him live in their home for about seven years and twice almost giving him back (his drug addict mother cleaned up twice and his bags were packed and they were waiting for her to pick him up when she had second thoughts about taking him home and then fell off the wagon again) they finally adopted him about two years ago after the mother realized that she would never be a good mother and gave up her rights. But the kid always had and still calls my friend's parents by their first names. I hope Rosie doesn't have this girl convinced that she is a permanent part of the family.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2001

Fair enough. The last thing the world needs is another messed-up kid.

-- Anonymous, January 19, 2001

Unless of course the child WANTS to call her mommy. Let's not assume that Rosie makes her. My daughter toyed with the idea of calling my girlfriend mommy. We didn't persuade her in either direction. Whatever she is comfortable with. She gave it up. I think because no one calls my girlfriend mommy in the house. I think if there were other children around calling her mommy then she would feel comfortable in doing so. Could be the same thing in their house. or maybe she's an ego-maniacal mommy dearest. I dunno.

-- Anonymous, January 23, 2001

Not to poke people in their proverbial eyes, but.....what's so "bad" about having a nanny?

I had a nanny, and I turned out fine. (As did all of my siblings and many of my equally happy, well-adjusted, high-achieving friends.)

Does anyone knocking nannies here have any first, second, or thirdhand experience in this area?

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2001

I *was* a nanny. The children wanted to call me Mommy, and I tried very hard to not be maternal because I absolutely did not want them to start thinking of me as Mommy. But they saw me when they woke up, they ate 3 meals a day with me, I potty trained them, I taught them their ABCs and their 123s, I comforted them when they fell, I napped with them, bathed them, helped them brush their teeth, and often I put them to bed. I spent so much more time with them than their parents that I know they were very confused little guys.

The real Mommy and Daddy were not bad people, they just worked a lot (military officers) and when they were not at work, they wanted to do things that they wanted to do, sometimes that included the kids, sometimes it didn't. However, knowing now how much of an effect I had on those kids over the 2-1/2 years I was their nanny, I do not want anyone else having that sort of influence over my children. I was not the best nanny, but I can't imagine that anyone could be Mary Poppins 5 days a week for 10-12 hours a day. And I'm certainly not saying this to make anyone feel bad for not being a stay-at-home parent, because I certainly do not believe that children are damaged by not having a June Cleaver Mommy.

It's a hard topic, but knowing what I know now, I won't have a nanny. Childcare, maybe, but no nanny. I don't want the competition for my child's affection and I don't want anyone being alone with my children for great lengths of time. There are huge differences in the relationship dynamics when the child goes to another house where there are other children.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2001

I was a nanny, too, and one of the reasons I gave it up was my agency found me a new posting with a politician and his wife and the description of the job was basically what Robyn described. It was everything with these kids all the time. I looked at the schedule and couldn't figure out when their parents saw them.

That being said, at another board I mentioned the fact that if I could have afforded in-home care, I sure would have had it. If for nothing other than having someone else wake up and bring the boy to me to breastfeed, then take him back to his crib. I am a *bad* middle of the night waker-upper, and often had fantasies of stabbing my perfectly happy snoring husband as he slept. If I were stinking rich, I would have a nanny, but I know I wouldn't be the parent who had the nanny with the kids 24/7. I want to wake them up and play with them and change their nappies and read to them and tuck them in at night. BUT any at home mom can tell you that she craves an hour or two a day by herself. So that's why I'd want one, basically for my convenience. And so I don't stab Mirth. Poor lamb.

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2001

I am not disagreeing with most of the comments but I think everyone should pick up the latest addition of People Magazine it gives a lot of imformation on celebrity adoptions. It also says a lot for the fact that the celebrities may not be as picky as others as far as race, sex, age, and background!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2001

Well, i've heard that Christina Aguilera adopted a child. Now, she is keeping it a secret from my concern. Because, I work with the BMG management which is on her lable, and I know her manager. I was in there on time (at the studio) and she brought in a little girl that looks like her. She said she was her little sister, I was in shock. Then, I saw her talking to her manager saying that she has to take her baby to the doctor. Now, from one thing.............Christina has a child...........Face the facts of life!

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

Oh, Well. Christina does. She has the right. Let her be, she's a human too. She comes online, she does this she does that. It's her right of the light! She is 20 years old people!

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

Right of the light?

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

Is that like Ray of Light?

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

I thought Ray of Light was Madonna's first baby. She didn't adopt, she just had a sperm donor.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

I thought that was Rosie O'Donnell? Doesn't she have kids named Jim, Bob, and Ray of Light? One of them is an alien, I heard.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

I thought that was one of Tom and Nicole's brood. Raymond Light. Didn't Calista think that was the most clever name ever and name her little bundle of poo Buddy Light?

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2001

Lite Brite, makin' things with light. What a sight, makin' things with Lite Brite.

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2001

Right of Light, Ray of Light! Still the same thing! And, guess what I saw this Weekend. Christina and her baby! Mike is so right. I was hunting it down and I found out. Because, I live in NY also. And, she is only 20!

-- Anonymous, March 04, 2001

I wish I were smart enough to post on this forum.

-- Anonymous, March 04, 2001

I wish you were smart enough to post on this forum, too.

-- Anonymous, March 05, 2001