Genarel Theory of American Stupidity

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Alright it's been 4 American shows so far and this is my theory.Like all of you I have become a JW fanatic.The first episode I saw was the brothers in arms canon show.I was totally amazed and from then on I was hooked and have been a faithful watcher ever since.But alas there's trouble in pradise!Last week we saw first episodes of the American version of JW.I was heartbroken then Iwas pissed off!So also like many of you I imediatly went to the JW website and bitched.I must say I was surprised how many people seemed to feel the same way.But I think we lack a little cohesion in our message to the scumbag spinless beancounters who have destroyed our show.But I digress.Let's take a trip back in history shall we?Does anyone remember Beyond 2000? How about Next Step?Yes this was definitive TLC and Discovery programing.But let's think about this for a second.They were both shows about technology as well as future technology. They were fasinating informitive and dare I say foriegn?Yes it's true isn't it!There were Aussie's running around everywhere!And in case you didn't notice there were annoying American hosts on both shows obviously there to explain to us better than thou Americans what those crazy little Aussie's were doing!Then before you knew it they were gone.Replaced with some pretty under par programing.But then it got worse.All the scientific shows started dying.The kind of programming that built TLC and Discovery was being pushed aside for Justice Files and Top Cops.Now I can't stand political correctness but even I apologize for the idiots for whom this next sentence will apply.ANYBODY WHO LIKES THOSE SHOWS SUFFERS FROM A SEVERE CASE OF WHITE TRASH MALLRAT MORONITIS!You are the bottom feeding scum of the American landscape.You are...ok I'll get back to the theory.I'd like to point out another show.The Crocadile Hunter!I was very pleased to see someone else on this board point this out as well.There was a beancounter screw up there as well.When Croc Hunter first started airing I was amazed at this crazy Aussie sticking in crocadiles mouths and dancing with poisonness snakes he was seemed totally nuts!But in case ya didn't notice when the show became popular the beancounters relized that we dumb Americans needed someone American to explain what Steve was doing!Thank god that Steve's wife was American I'm sure they thought.So next thing ya know Steve's wife (the american) is explaining (in that justice files kind of way)everything he did."Look Steve's gonna grab that croc's testicles.He'll have to be very careful or he'll excite the croc and give him a woody.Now don't try this at home folks you might get pregnant.Now stay with us folks we'll be right back after the comercial break to see what steve does with all that croc sperm!"Foriegn shows,patronizing American commentary,where have I seen this recently?Let's point out another show.Iron Chef! Another great show but also foriegn.So what do they do they bring it to America and make a mockery of it.Where have I seen that recently?What about Farscape or Lexx both foriegn shows with a strong core following.Yep the beancounters tried to mess with those shows too.So we have all of these foriegn shows that are very popular and we have all these weenies trying to make them simpler so we can understand them!This does not compute!Being somone who works in the entrtainment busieness I can tell you this is not a new trend.Producers of American shows base their decisions on hard data.If the surveys and neilsons ratings say we want shows about lawyers that's what they'll give us.Then we'll get more shows about lawyers and then some more!Then they think if you like lawyers you'll like shows about doctors.That's when the bandwagon starts.The prblem then arises when the trend is over and no one has the guts,brains or combination thereof to do anything about it!I don't think America has lost it's touch when it comes to creating good entertainment it simply seems to be a case of cover your ass till all this chaos blows over and a new band wagon starts.But let's get back to JW.I don't hate Geoge but I do prefer Robert.I don't even think George is the real problem he's just an actor trying to make a living.He does seem to try too hard to be funny and that is annoying to no end but he doesn't write the show.Besides if getting more JW means putting up with George i'll gladly take it.But as i've stated I don't believe George is the real issue here.The real issue is the reformating an editing of our beloved show.Watching last night I noticed some interesting things some were encouraging some were disapointing.First thing I noticed was the intro then comercial begining was gone and that was a good thing.However It was a little strange to have Cathy explain what the teams were going to build graphics and all before the teams themselves finished planning it.That was a bad thing.Then I noticed the teams wheeling in these complete cars no they were driving them in!This seemed strange also until I thought about awhile.It's true teams found full working cars in the Brittish version of JW but I think the real difference was in the shows editing.In the Brittish versions they seemed to look a lot longer for them where in the American version they seemed to just walk outside and find exactly what they needed and drove it right in.The difference I'm sure lies in how the shows were edited.But why?Why change the flow of the show?There is another editing difference in the American version too.They don't seem to show the actual work.Boom they get a car,boom they get everything else,and the next time you see inside the workplace the machine is half done!In the Brittish version they spent more time in the gathering aspect of thr show and then when it got close to crunch time we started to see what they building.The Americans seem to buld they projects in half the time where the Brittish teams seem to need all ten hours.But once again this is a diference of editing.But let me say this as well."WE KNOW THEY HAVE TEN HOURS TO BUILD WE DON'T NEED TO TOLD REPEATEDLY BY SOME STUPID JUNKYARD CLOCK!"Alfred Hitchcock pioneered this phenomenon.Show the audience the bomb under the table.They know it's there but the character in the movie doesn't and they get tense some even scream at the screen "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BITCH THERE'S A BOMB UNDER THE TABLE!"Once again we don't need to be told by Geoge the dumb metal clock or Steve Irwin's wife that they only have ten hours to finish!It takes away from the dynamics of the show.So does showing the machines half finished halfway thru the show it's better for me to think they just made it in time!There's that American format of editing again.Everything else in the show seemed ok and they were fairly entertaining.So please beancounters do yourselves and the fans a favor.Go to the doctors (a Brittish one if possible)and get treatment for your American stupidity find yourself a spine and kick the crap out the moron who told you what we want to see cause that boy couldn't be more wrong.

-- Phillip Barrington (megavybe@coolnet.net), January 12, 2001

Answers

Good God, how can you say that much and still make no sense. A little word of advice, if you are going to call people stupid, you should double check your spelling and syntax ahead of time.

-- www.geocities.com/kablamotheclown (kablamotheclown@yahoo.com), January 12, 2001.

With all the complaining about George, most have lost sight of the show and what it means to most of us. I have always wanted to enter the various competitions on this order, Akron University has had concrete canoe races for example, but, because I was not a student at the time I wasn't allowed to enter. When this came along I was exstatic, couldn't wait to get an application sent in. Since being on the show we have had requests to enter all sorts of competitions, none can even come close to Junkyard Wars. We did not know of the changes, like George, untill we saw him for the first time on build day. We found him to be just super to work with, on and off the set he couldn't have been nicer if he tried. The editing on our show, a lot of which, was probably to accomodate that instant replay ending, I felt left out a lot of really neat tinkering. However the replay of the four of us watching that gourd heading for the clouds was priceless. JustJay

-- JustJay-Captain-Three Rusty Juveniles (justjay@neo.rr.com), January 12, 2001.

Phillip > Next time just scan a copy of the Gettysburg address and then write George Sucks at the end......I think It would actually be easier to read than the gobbleygook that you just sent.

-- Frank (Frankfurter55@hotmail.com), January 12, 2001.

No, Jay, "Godspeed young pumpkin" was priceless.

Thanks for an entertaining and educational hour.

-- Rick Tyler (rick@raf.com), January 12, 2001.


Your post does ramble a little, but I'm sympathetic to your concerns. I'm 'over' my shock about the 'seeding' aspect of the show, and I know the new male American host is just 'reading his lines', but he's so contrived and tawdry. I enjoy the experts they bring in to review the teams' progress and the Brit girl is great. If the producers would just lighten up on the 'campy' aspects a little, JYW would be better off for it.

Enjoy.

-- Tim Fuller (tim@thetimtimes.com), January 12, 2001.



Ok ok it's true I'm a motor mouth!My girlfriend is presently cackling up a storm and yelling"So I'm not the only one who thinks you ramble huh?"From now on I'll keep it short on one condition.Don't PiCk oN MY TyPiNG PleAsE!!!!

-- (megavybe@coolnet.net), January 12, 2001.

I can't figure out which retort is more hilarious: Kablamo's or Frank's! I was going to retort until I read these two: ahahah...anything else would be shooting fish in a barrel. Classic!

-- Wallace Dee (WallaceDg@aol.com), January 12, 2001.

Actually, rambling aside, you raise a good point. I don't know who's doing the directing and editting, but it seems that the 'Murican show has de-emphasized the design and building in favor of the searching, worrying, and competing.

On the odd chance that they might actually read this, let me make one thing perfectly clear, "I DO NOT WATCH JW FOR THE PERSONALITIES, THE ANGST FACTOR, OR THE COMPETITION!" I watch it for the projects! That means problem exposition (what little there is of it), design, project planning (usually missing entirely), execution, and then test (competition).

To devalue the earlier phases actually devalues the competition. C'mon, people, drag racing, off-roading, pumpkin chunking, etc etc.. are ALL done much better elsewhere. If that's what we tuned in for, we wouldn't stay long. It's the projects that make the competition fascinating. De-emphasize the projects and you end up with a boring show.

Think of it this way. Who is more involved in a car race, the guy in the stands who barely knows the drivers' names, or the guy that built one of the cars? By letting us, the viewers, participate in the "building of the cars", we become much more involved in the race!

Based on the British version, no one in my family will miss this show. It has become "appointment TV". So far the American version of the show has been getting away from makes the show special.

And for the record, while I prefer Robert, George is doing fine.

-- Dennis Forcier (dennis.forcier@transcore.com), January 12, 2001.


Wasn't Einstein working on this theory before he died?

-- Richard Manahan (rjcyclesk8@hotmail.com), January 12, 2001.

Well, here's the female aspect guys. I do tend to agree with the rather "long" speech. My husband and I tuned in to JW a few months back with the cannon show. We loved it! My husband is one of you guys who can bodge just about anything, and everyone wants his help. We have been avidly watching the American version and here is our two cents worth, rather than tuppence. George is reading his authorized mumbo, but it does come off a little forced and campy. We love the British female but do wish she would change outfits once in a while. I believe you men have made a wonderful points on stressing that the actual planning, and foraging aspect is nearly gone from the show. I'm a female, and it was bothering me as well! It seems as if there are more of the ready needed parts available as well. What is with this sharing props the other day??? Oh well, just a little female Ohioan view. ps. The damn clock counting bugs me as well!

-- Regina Waters (theh2os1@aol.com), January 14, 2001.


Deer Fillop , LOL It wasn't your typing we were insulting it was your intelligence! First off, there are NO American Shows. Taping won't start in the states till June of 2001. The shows are all still all made in Cheereo England with the same yard, same set, same crew, & same Kathy (Thank Goodness). The only change is the co-host & using American teams. So wait till they start filming in the states , then your idiocy will have some meaning. I think the show is great now , before, & even better when it moves to California this spring. I'd like to see local try outs all over the country that go to state championships. To a regional champ. All the to a National Champion. In a competition like that the bodging would be awesome. So stick to something ya know, like humpin j k l d

-- Elmer Fudd (Fudd@animalsex.com), January 14, 2001.

Sorry Fill, bad choice of fonts, this should be easier for you to read with them beady little eyes. LOL Deer Fillop , LOL It wasn't your typing we were insulting it was your intelligence! First off, there are NO American Shows. Taping won't start in the states till June of 2001. The shows are all still all made in Cheereo England with the same yard, same set, same crew, & same Kathy (Thank Goodness). The only change is the co-host & using American teams. So wait till they start filming in the states , then your idiocy will have some meaning. I think the show is great now , before, & even better when it moves to California this spring. I'd like to see local try outs all over the country that go to state championships. To a regional champ. All the to a National Champion. In a competition like that the bodging would be awesome. So Fill, stick to something ya know, like humpin i j k d

-- Elmer Fudd (Fudd@animalsex.com), January 14, 2001.



-- (whocaresth@tphilhumpsgoats .com), January 15, 2001.

A little harsh, there, aren't we, Elmer Fudd? Especially given your less than stellar reponse. Let's analyze it, shall we? 1. There is no American version!? Are you dense? Have you not been paying attention to the dozens of posts and hundreds of responses re: the American Junkyard Wars vs. the English Scrapheap Challenge? Talk about idiocy. 2. "Cheereo" is a cereal. "Cheerio" is an English expression. 3. "great now, before, & even better." What is that? 4. "All the to a". Once again, what is that? 5. Your lovely choice of font showed true foresight. Before you take it upon yourself to criticize others, perhaps you should take a moment to organize your own thoughts. Phillip's typing won't win any awards, but the content of his message was right on the mark. You could learn a thing or two from him.

-- Caroline (crieker@kunzlaw.com), January 15, 2001.

Would someone please tell me what LOL means? Make fun if you must, but nothing asked nothing gained.

-- bdudley (bdcd@bellsouth.net), January 15, 2001.


Dear Dumb Caroline, Read my lips, There are no American shows! Whey have never filmed in the U.S. yet. The fact that all these people that are posting this shit only means that they don't know what they are talking about either. Same as you! The fact that they changed the name over here is the only thing different about the shows right now. Next spring when they do start filming over here the shows will be different. Till then stick to something that you know , I hear ya like it doggy style.

-- Elmer Fudd (Fudd @animalsex.com), January 15, 2001.

bdudley , (LOL) is "Laugh out load" or somethig funny , but I won't make fun of you. I didn't know it either at first & had to ask .:) Oh (LMAO) is "Laughing my (_!_) off" & (Roflmao) Is the same with "Rolling on floor"first Hope this helps get ya started in the lingo. LOL

-- Rick Lawrence (hoodoo2@povn.com), January 15, 2001.

Longest post award goes to "Genarel" Phillip Barrington.

-- Waddy Thompson (cthomp3851@aol.com), January 16, 2001.

Jeezamageeeez.....How about a Junkyard Wars Spelling Bee!

-- John Gap (mindthegap64@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.

Would someone PLEASE tell me how to turn HTML off, it seems as though when the person ahead of you uses it, your next message automatically is in that font too...

-- Rhonda (mxrs@zianet.com), January 16, 2001.

I believe it was a tradgedy when steve died. He has inspired us all.

-- Bob Acosta (Pha421@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

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