Re-reading Gwen's infamous "Night of Shame" topless bar tale inspires me to ask, have you ever been to a stip club? Ever been to see a strip show? Ever had a stripper perform at a party or other special occasion? Was it male strippers or female strippers? Just how naked did they get for you, anyway? What did you think? Did you have a good time? Was it fun? Will you do it again?

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

Answers

stRip club. Have you ever been to a stRip club. Damn, first question I ask in months and I make a typo in the first sentence.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

Uh..um...er...well...uh...mmm....yes! I loved it. Past tense. I would probably still like it but my wife would...well, castrate me. So I'm stuck watching prime time TV for my voyeuristic fun. No, seriously. I love to watch girls take their clothes off. What!!? Wait a minute here!! I'm no pervert! Just a red blooded american boy that loves naked women. No matter what Floosie says! I'm innocent I tell ya! Thanks for gettin me in trouble Paul. James

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

I saw a nude revue in Vegas. Does that count?

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

I've never been, but several of my relatives (oh yeah) own/run/work in a strip club. You can't convince me that there's anything "fun" about the sex industry... I've heard far, far too many "behind the scenes" stories....

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

Yes, Nicole, that counts. What was that like? A bunch of singing and dancing while nude?

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

I do performance art, and thus I have seen probably 75% of my friends naked. However, it isn't at all sexy or porny. You'll have to just trust me on that one.

I do have some friends who, while not in The Business themselves, have friends who are. So I run into industry folks at concerts and parties and art shows. I'm not very close with the strippers and XXX-video makers. We have nothing in common, it seems, once we exhaust safe topics like the weather and the buffet contents.

I also have had my shoulders rubbed by Annie Sprinkle, who is surprisingly smart and sweet in person (and who has impressively enormous gazongas), but it wasn't something I was really thrilled about. I just happened to be within reach and agreeable- looking, I guess. Aforementioned friend with friends in the industry dragged me to see Annie's one-woman show because her home, a houseboat, had just been completely destroyed in an accident and all her archives, personal effects, photos...even her pets!...were gone. I thought that was awful, so I ponied up the admission fee and went.

I personally have no interest in being naked in front of strangers or in seeing anyone naked unless I really like them and I'm about to have sex with them. I don't find naked strangers (or friends) titillating. We're all naked under our clothes, after all. Some people look much better that way, too.

The old joke is that "nude" is someone who is unclothed on purpose or for artistic purposes, "naked" is someone without clothes on that you just surprised or who has just surprised you, and "nekkid" means you have no clothes on and are up to something.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

Strippers! Ugh, disgusting. Have those people no shame? :)

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

Went to my first strip club in Hastings, Nebraska-all nude, no liquor. It was a juice bar and they sold cigars. Just the fact that you could get a great big OJ to enhance your erotic interlude was enough to lure me out there for a trip with the guys.

The women were beautiful and I got 2 lap dances (really they were sofa dances) but I didn't pay for either of them-the guys I went with were absolutely tickled to buy the experience for me. Both were totally naked except for piercings, and second lap dance was not nearly so awkward for me and she actually gave me a hickey! It was fun and I would definitely go again if the chance came my way. And I would absolutely do it as a job if I had the proportions or the grace, but probably not for more than a few weeks...and probably not if I were in a relationship.

My xhusband's friends had a stripper come to his (coed) surprise birthday party which took place in my house while we were still married. *That* was uncomfortable for me, but the men seemed to enjoy it (although the stripper didn't seem to be having NEARLY as much fun as the girls at the club did). I drank a lot that night. I felt a lot of resentment towards his friends for putting me in a position where if I said "No naked, oiled up women grinding on my husband in the living room", I would be considered a not-cool wife and a party spoiler. If the situation were to arise again, I would tell my mate's friends to take him to see strippers somewhere that was not my living room and not in front of me.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

...naked, oiled-up women grinding...oh, oops, it's my turn. Stop that, Robin. Actually I was stationed in the Philippines during the sixties and saw some of the rawest stuff imaginable, and it all became real ho-hum. I personally think porn of all stripes is like golf. It's fun to do, but really boring to watch. I will tell you one war story you may find interesting: There was a girl in one club who could pick up quarters on the stage using her, uh, labia.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

That's Robyn, of course. Not to be confused with the fey little guy that follows Batman around.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2001

During grad. school I tried to get a job at one. The girls were really nice, but they asked me what I was doing there and wouldn't give me one. Guess I didn't look the part. Then I had a kid and whatever fantasy I was having dissipated. In the not too distant past I went with a friend to a S&M party. I had my chest (and I mean the part excluding the mammary part) body painted with latex paint. It actually felt really nice and I thought, gee, what could be so S&My about this, until the paint dried and I tried to get it off. Like a ballon bonded to your skin. Um, I'm off the subject again aren't I?

-- Anonymous, January 09, 2001

All I have to say is that people don't use the word "fey" nearly often enough.

-- Anonymous, January 09, 2001

Paul, there was a woman who ballet danced topless. She was an incredible dancer, but I was really distracted by her exposed boobs. All I could think of was "She is so talented. Why is she doing this naked, when she could be in a ballet company doing so much more, while clothed?"

And then there were the showgirls with the big head dresses with feathers and sparkly things, and their boobs bouncing around. My friend and I had fun deciding who had boob jobs, and who needed boob jobs.

-- Anonymous, January 09, 2001

I've never been to a strip club - and have no desire to go - but I did go to see the Moulin Rouge when I was in Paris many years ago. It was amusing, and edifying: the female star of the show, a singer, was dressed in an elegant column gown, covered with fabric from her neck to her ankles. The better dancers wore tops. The dancers who were not as good were topless. It was easy to see the pecking order - you have talent, you're allowed to keep your clothes on.

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2001

I was dragged to one on my 21st birthday. I was very uncomfortable most of the night. All I could think was how sad it was that these women were forced to do this kind of work to make money. I've met three women since then who had stripped at one time or another and they have informed me that no one is forced and that a few women even enjoy the work.

I would probably like it more now that I’m older if I was inclined to go but the thing I can’t get over is the men in the audience. I mean, my friends sat there smiling and laughing and enjoying the beautiful women, but most of the men had this hungry look in their eyes that made me uncomfortable. Not to mention, I just don’t find any enjoyment in being frustrated. Sure you’re beautiful and naked and right in front of me but I can’t TOUCH you.

I had forgotten this until just now. Part of the reason I was uncomfortable was that all night I kept thinking "Man that girl looks familiar." About half way through the night she walks up to me and says "Travis! How great to see you." I went to high school with her. Ironic, that all through high school my friends and I would have killed to see her naked and now anyone could for a $5 cover.

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2001