Help! I'm having a crisis. I literally can't bear going back to London. This is more than post-Christmas depression. It all started with having a lovely night out with Mrs Softie last Saturday, continued through the game on Tuesday (awesome, BTW, best we've played for at least a year), and seeing everyone, having lunch and a right laugh with Susie, Steph and Ciara in the Strawberry and then going to see little Softie junior and his mam and dad. OHHH, I want to stay here.

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Answers

so what should I do?

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Get yersel' a proper job. Didn't yer Ma tell ye soliciting doon in Laandahn might be the owdest profession but not the happiest?

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Buy the house next door to the Softie's, find yerself a job and stay! It's what I'd be doing if I didn't need a berloody work permit. ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Whenever I'm in the car on the A1 or M1 I love to see those signs with an arrow pointing straight up and just saying "The North". It lifts my spirits. In almost equal measure, the signs saying "The South" usually bring on a mild bout of depression.

All Geordies are tied by an invisible umbilical cord to The Tyne Bridge, which will exert it's pull all of our lives. Just last year I made contact with a long lost cousin. She was raised in Seghill, went to Durham University, and then lived in Cornwall, Ethiopia, and New York (the other one - USA) for at least the last 20 years. She must be close on 60 and can't have seen the North East in almost 40 years, but she told me she wants to come "home".

I hope you can get it sorted soon Dougal pet - what on Earth will you do with all your spare time that you currently spend on the train?

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Sell up, Pack up and move lock, stock and two smoking pencils back to the Toon. Get a job with the famous Whitley Bay solicitors Hadaway & Shiyte. Buy a place next to The Lonsdale in Jesmond which would be handy for work and the match and live happily ever after. Or………………………………………………………………….ask yourself the same question for the next 15yrs.

It’s a tough one Dougal. One of the reasons I haven’t been back in 5 yrs is I know I’d want to stay.

Do we let our hearts rule our heads???

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

Hmph. Just spent 8 hours getting back from The Lakes. Derwentwater, blue skies, crisp snow, clean air...add a cow bell and it could've been Switzerland. Back to the land of paranoia, warm fetid underground air and 'golf sale ----->'
Still, got to go where the work is. :@)

-- Anonymous, December 29, 2000

But Dan, you don't do any work. I thought you just made things up. Sure;y you could do that even better with a happy heart?

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2000

Hello and thanks to everyone who answered. Yesterday increased my revulsion at London - the journey back to King's Cross took 5 hours and I had to stand all the way, the taxi to White Hart Lane cost £22, we got beaten by a team whose fans haven't the first clue of what it means to support your club and who don't deserve their team to win EVER, the train back to Liverpool Street took ages and then I had a further journey on a delayed tube to Clapham Common. Same delays this morning so I got to work late despite leaving house at 7am!! Only good thing about London is that a couple of really good friends live here.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2001

Yeh - can't see Prince Charles & Camilla moving to the Toon either Dougal.
BTW - HNY, hinny. How's your gammy knee?

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2001

Dougal, I feel your pain pet, we all do. Those of us not lucky enough to live where our hearts rests have huge emotional upheavals whenever we go home. Sometimes I often think that is the pain of leaving worth the few delerious days of being there. I go through a crushing depression when I leave, it lasts forever it seems. I will spend my last days there as most of us will, but the fact remains we all need to make a living somewhere somehow. Life is a bag o' crisps innit

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2001

Clarky - knee was fine bar a few twinges in the Toon. Bkack in London, it has seized up (it is almost tropical weather here -very warm and wet). However, immediate concerns is voice which still hasn't returned properly after Tuesday night. Thanks for your concern, pet. Sorry I missed you and Missus Clarky in pub on Saturday. I was in the middle of a charge at a Man Utd fan (unintentionally) and landed in a slushy puddle so had to go and get changed before coming back to the Strawberry. Syme, I couldn't agree more - I came through King's X station this morning and for two pins would have got on a train back home.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2001