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In keeping with the diversity that is apparent on the board, I humbly offer the following:
12 Politically Correct Days of the Non-Religious Midwinter Festival
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,
(NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses,
AND A Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), December 22, 2000
more! more! :)
-- helen (b@r.f), December 22, 2000.
OK, because Helen asked ;-)
(This one's An oldie, but still brings laughs.)
The Christmas Party
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1I'm happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our General Manager shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas PartyIn no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday PartyRegarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday PartyWhat a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and intimacy during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party, or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday PartySo December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday PartyPeople, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our principal dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be Satan, there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit". It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?
FROM: Pat Smith, HR Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party Vegetarians!?!?!?I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponics tomatoes ... but you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream, I'm hearing them scream right now!
FROM: Karen Jones, Acting HR Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Smith and Holiday PartyI'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Smith a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Chanuk-Kwanzaa-Solsti-Rama-Mas
-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), December 22, 2000.
Santa Is Quitting His JobT'was the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--NO request for them, They want computers and robots..they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job..there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
-- (santa@quit.s), December 22, 2000.
Santa's Tree~
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
>
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
>
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more.
>
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress.
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Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
>
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
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In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
>
Just then the door bell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree, fat man?"
>
And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
>
-- flora (***@__._), December 22, 2000.
(Reuters) - Dozens of replacement workers were hospitalized today after a violent confrontation with strikers from the International Brotherhood of Elves and Gnomes. The bloody melee marked a new low in the strained relationship between the union and SantaCorp, and is likely to result in the postponing or cancellation of Christmas according to union officials.The riotous clash began early yesterday when a sleighful of replacement elves arrived at SantaCorp's gigantic Workshop 8 Assembly Plant. The replacement elves were contracted last week by SantaCorp to fulfill burgeoning back orders for toys.
"The global economy has been very good this year, and we saw a 7% decrease in childhood naughtiness," noted SantaCorp spokessnowman Frosty. "Coupled with higher consumer expectations and depleted inventories, the company had no choice but to continue production."
The sight of the replacement elves enraged the striking IBEG workers who were picketing outside the gates of the plant. They were joined by sympathy strikers from the Amalgamated Federation of Sprites and Fairies, Labor Congress of Leprechauns, and the Teamsters.
"You're taking food out of the mouth of my family, you rat bastards!" yelled one of the enraged elves. "Filthy scabs!" screamed another. "We know where you live!"
As the replacement elves approached the plant gates, the strikers closed ranks around them. What sparked the ensuing violence is in dispute, but it appeared that a lump of coal lobbed from the strikers was the first volley. When the coal lump felled a replacement elf, it seemed to embolden the strikers.
The incensed strikers waded into the crowd of replacement elves, brandishing festive red-and-white candy canes, some of which had been sucked to produce razor-sharp points. Others wielded picket signs reading "Santa Unfair to Elves," "A Living Wage for Workers," and "120 Hour Week."
Using the hooked end of their candy canes, the strikers began tripping the replacement elves. As they lay face down, struggling to arise from the frigid polar snow, some of the strikers began cracking them over the head with the blunt end of their candy canes.
Many of the panicked replacement elves attempted to flee or protect themselves with adorable plush teddy bears. Others tried to return fire, hurling ornaments from a nearby fir tree. This, however, seemed only to further provoke the strikers. The Teamsters joined the battle with nightsticks, supported by the swinging shillelaghs of the leprechauns.
By the time Polar Police Bears arrived on their Norelco electric shavers, the scene was a tumult of blood-soaked snow and tiny crumpled bodies. When the police bears began making arrests, the strikers quickly dispersed. Ambulance dogsleds were called in to take the wounded to Arctic Memorial Hospital.
Over 30 elves, leprechauns and Teamsters were taken into custody, where they await arraignment on the Island of Misfit Toys. Among those arrested were Lucky, the beloved cereal leprechaun, and former Teamster President Ron Carey.
Lucky later complained of "police bear brutality," saying polar law enforcement officials were "no better than those fascist kids who are always after me Lucky Charms."
The dramatic confrontation was the latest chapter in the deteriorating relations between North Pole-based SantaCorp, the giant multinational toy distribution firm, and its 16,000 elf workers. For hundreds of years, labor and management at SantaCorp had enjoyed a genial relationship, says Labor Historian Michael Juric of the University of Michigan. "The elves were incredibly loyal, putting in hours that almost any labor organization would balk at, without a contract."
According to Juric, the elves received little in return. "No profit sharing, no health plan, not even the most basic workplace safety guarantees. In fact, they didn't even receive a paycheck. They received - get this - cookies. Now don't get me wrong, Mrs. Claus' cookies are delicious. But just try to turn them into a pension plan."
Given the work conditions at the SantaCorp plant, Juric says "it was inevitable that it was targeted by union organizers." In fact, AFL/CIO President John Sweeney had targeted SantaCorp unionization as one of the union's top priorities in 1998. On November 17, the Union dispatched a group of leprechauns to the North Pole to call for a unionization vote among SantaCorp workers. At first, the appeal fell on deaf pointy ears.
"We aren't interested in unionizing," said Jeepers, senior plant foreman. "We just want to bring joy to children, like our boss." However, AFL-CIO President Sweeney was undeterred. While the leprechauns continued to press unionization among plant workers, Sweeney was urging his contacts in the government to investigate and rectify "gross violation of labor laws at SantaCorp."
Sweeney, whose union contributed tens of millions of dollars to candidates during the 1998 election cycle, found an attentive audience in Washington. Within a week, regulators from the Justice Department, Labor Department, Commerce Department, OSHA, NLRB, and BATF descended on the North Poll to conduct a spot investigation of SantaCorp facilities.
Clinton administration spokesman Joe Lockhart denied that the inspections had anything to do with the AFL-CIO's campaign contributions. "We believe in the fair enforcement of our nation's labor laws, and we will take all appropriate action to see that they are obeyed. Even outside the United States."
Lockhart added that "essagemay to eenysway - e-way eednay another-ay entytway illionmay."
Meanwhile, union organizers were beginning to make some headway among the plant workers. Many expressed anger at their 168-hour December work week. Others vented their resentment at Santa Claus, whom many suspected was taking undue credit for SantaCorp's dizzying success. Whatever the cause, the plant voted to unionize on December 4.
Two days later, federal inspectors announced they had found hundred of violations of labor laws at SantaCorp. Labor Department spokeswoman Christine Reynolds said that "this is the worst case of labor exploitation I have ever seen. SantaCorp has flaunted minimum wage and hour laws. There is no pension plan in place. Occupational safety here is virtually non-existent. The workers have outdated tools and work in insufficient candlelight. They risk fatigue and frostbite. Some of the floor workers are over 300 years old, well past the federal mandatory retirement age."
She announced a record $190 Billion fine against SantaCorp for rule violations and overdue Social Security and Medicare premiums. SantaCorp remains under investigation by the EEOC for discrimination against brownies.
Buttressed by the findings of federal inspectors, the newly unionized IBEG workers announced an immediate strike. In a dramatic press statement, newly elected adorable elf Winky warned "No justice, no peace, no toys."
The strike and the heavy fine shocked SantaCorp CEO Santa Claus, who was visiting Macy's in New York on a business trip. "Oh deary me, what will the children do? I'm not feeling so jolly," said Claus in a tersely worded statement. Knowing that the firm was cash-strapped, Claus put together a hasty IPO plan to present to Wall Street venture capital firms. There he found little interest among investors after it was revealed that, despite its huge workforce, SantaCorp had 1998 revenues of only $0.00.
"In terms of street buzz, SantaCorp was up there. Great product, great reputation, excellent distribution channel," says Henry Goldblatt of Avex Securities. "But their financials are a mess. Almost as bad as some of the Internet stocks. Plus, who's going to invest in a firm in the middle of a labor dispute?"
Through the month of December, it appeared that management was in denial. Claus continued to take millions of orders, knowing that inventories were dangerously low. "I just have to believe there is a way out of this," said Claus to Forbes magazine last week.
Desperate for workers, Claus last week decided to ship in undocumented workers from the impoverished South Pole. Elf unemployment at the South Pole runs at nearly 100%, and the Antarctic elves jumped at the chance for even seasonal jobs. When word of the worker importation reached IBEG, the union was enraged.
"This is the thanks we get? Replacing us with a bunch of filthy, penguin-eating icebacks?" complained Winky. "That bastard Claus better watch his back."
Winky later denied that the statement was a threat of violence, after Santa Claus was nearly killed in a sleigh bombing on December 19. The incident is still under investigation.
After today's violence, most of the undocumented elves say they will return to the South Pole. "It's just not worth it. I'd rather be alive and poor," said South Pole elf PePe through an interpreter. IBEG President Winky declared victory, noting that "SantaCorp can't hide behind the scabs now. Christmas is coming, and that scum Claus better come up with the toys, or those kids'll stop believing. It'll be the end of SantaCorp."
SantaCorp officials were unavailable for comment as of yesterday afternoon. They were on a trade mission to scout production facilities at the new East Pole, being built by the People's Republic of China.
-- JCL Jockey (WeThrive@OnStress.com), December 23, 2000.
MEMORANDUM 22 Dec 2000 From: Santa
To: Staff
Subj: North Pole Annual Report Seasons Greetings! The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a great deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, mail-order catalogs, and a rapidly growing Internet commerce environment have diminished Santa's market share and he could not idly sit by and permit further erosion of the profit picture. The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchasing of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernable loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavorable press. I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold, but by substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of year when he was known to be under executive stress. As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary: 1. The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop envisioned. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance. 2. The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost-effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated. 3. The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French. 4. The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call-waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often, and how long they talked. 5. The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and technology stocks appears to be in order. 6. The six-geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in selection criteria by personnel will assure management that from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one. 7. The seven-swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retained to learn new strokes and therefore enhance their out placement. 8. As you know, the eight-maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring, or a-mulching. 9. Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. 10. Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work Congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of out-of-work Congressmen this year. 11. Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new musical instruments, and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line. We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals, and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over 12 days is inefficient. If we can drop-ship in one day utilizing Fed-Ex or Airborne Express, service levels will be greatly improved. Regarding the lawsuit filed by the Attorney's Association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), action is pending. Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs really are necessary.
-- JCL Jockey (WeThrive@OnStress.com), December 23, 2000.
The 12 Days of Christmas Love Notes (Another oldie, but a goodie)1st DAY
My dearest Darling John,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree! What a truly delightful gift. Thank you 'Darling' for the lovely thought.
With deep love & affection,
Your ever loving Agnes!
2nd DAY
My Dearest John,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift -- Two Turtle Doves, I am Delighted. They are adorable!
All my love,
Your ever loving Agnes!
3rd DAY
Dearest John,
Oh! How extravagant you are! I really must protest! I don't deserve such generosity! Three french hens I insist....you are too kind!
Your loving Agnes!
4th DAY
Dearest John,
The four calling birds that I received today are lovely, and should be good company for the hens, doves and partridges! I really must consider getting an aviary!
Kind regards,
Agnes!
5th DAY
Dear John,
What a surprise ... today the postman delivered Five Gold Rings!- One for every finger. You are really impossible, but I love you. Frankly though, all the birds are beginning to squawk and get on my nerves!
Regards,
Agnes!
6th DAY
Dear Johnathon!,
When I open the door this morning there were actually six bloody great geese laying eggs ALL over the porch! What in hell do you expect me to do with all of them?? The neighbors are beginning to complain and I can't sleep! PLEASE STOP!!!!
Cordially Yours,
Agnes!
7th DAY
JOHN!
What is it with you and these rotten birds??? Now I get SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS SOME SORT OF A GOD DAMMED JOKE????? The house is full of BIRD SHIT and IT IS NOT FUNNY ANY MORE!!! Stop sending these bloody Birds!!!!!
Yours,
Agnes!
8th DAY
O.K. BUSTER,
I THINK I PREFER THE GOD DAMMED BIRDS.... WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH EIGHT BLOODY MAIDS-A-MILKING?????? AS IF IT WASN'T ENOUGH WITH ALL THE F**KING BIRDS!! NOW I HAVE EIGHT COWS TO SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND MOO ALL NIGHT.......
AGNES!
9th DAY
LOOK DICKHEAD!
WHAT ARE YOU???? SOME KIND OF NUT???? NOW YOU SEND ME NINE PIPERS PLAYING AND THEY NEVER F**KING WELL STOP!!! WHEN THEY ARE NOT PLAYING THEIR BLOODY PIPES THEY KEEP CHASING THE MAIDS THROUGH THE COW SHIT. THE COWS KEEP MOOING AND TREADING ALL OVER THE BIRDS. THE NEIGHBORS ARE NOW THREATENING TO HAVE ME EVICTED...GET KNOTTED!
AGNES!
10th DAY
YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!
NOW I HAVE TEN LADIES DANCING....HOW ON EARTH ANY ONE CAN CALL THE WHORES, "LADIES", IS BEYOND ME!! THEY SPEND ALL NIGHT PULLING THE BLOODY PIPERS!!! THE COWS HAVE DIARRHOEA AND CAN'T SLEEP. MY LIVING ROOM IS A SEA OF SHIT. THE LANDLORD HAS JUST DECLARED THE BUILDING UNFIT FOR HABITATION..MINE OR THE ANIMALS'!!! PISS OFF....
AGNES!
11th DAY
LISTEN SHITFACE,
WITH ELEVEN LORDS A-LEAPING ALL OVER THE MAIDS A-MILKING, WELL, WE SHALL NEVER WALK AGAIN!!!! THE PIPERS ARE FIGHTING THE LORDS FOR A BIT OF TIT AND COMMITTING SODOMY WITH THE COWS!!! THE BIRDS HAVE ALL BEEN TRAMPLED TO DEATH AND ARE ROTTING IN THE SHIT HAVING BEEN TRAMPLED IN THE ORGY!! I HOPE YOU ARE SATISFIED ...YOU BASTARD!!!!
YOUR SWORN ENEMY,
AGNES!
12th DAY
YOU STINKING LOUSY PRICK!
THE TWELVE DRUMMERS DRUMMING HAVE TEAMED UP WITH THE ELEVEN LORDS A-LEAPING IN MAKING ONE HELL OF A RACKET. BOTH LOTS HAVE BEEN BUGGERING THE PIPERS AS WELL AS THE COWS.... AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAIDS. THEY HAVE PROBABLY DROWNED IN THE COW SHIT BY NOW!!!! THE ONLY WAY I HAVE SAVED MYSELF IS TO LOCK MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND TO HIDE IN THE PEAR TREE WHICH HAS NOW GROWN THROUGH THE ROOF! YOU ROTTEN BASTARD! THANK GOD IT IS FINALLY CHRISTMAS......
AGNES!
13th DAY
Mr. Jonathan Miller
RE.: Agnes Brown
Dear Mr. Miller,
We are writing on behalf of Ms. Brown who has retained us to advise you as follows:
1. Your contacting her by any means will be responded to with any means lawfully available to us to initiate proceedings against you that will result in maximum penalty.
We are hereby advising you that these may include harassment, mental cruelty, trespassing, mischief, invasion of privacy, disturbing of the peace, causing undue hardship, unlicensed transport of livestock, unsolicited mailings, pre-meditated damages, failure to procure veterinary health certificates, disregard of regulations of the Federal Agricultural Act., Health Standard Code, Public Entertainment Licensing, being an accessory to illicit sexual conduct, and prostitution. breach of local bylaw OB/A.[gr.XXV (a(iv) (1846))], Precedent ruling Jerk vs. Jerk and possibly more.
2. Disregarding the above will result in court proceedings in which damages of at least $2.4 million will be sought, as well as reimbursement of clean-up and eviction related expenses.
We strongly recommend you heed this notification.
Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe
Attorneys at Law
-- I'm Here, I'm There, (I'm Everywhere,@So.Beware), December 23, 2000.
Didn't want to start a new thread for this one, but it's fast becoming a "tradition" of sorts and wanted to post it.
(Hey -- it's not just for kids.)
The story of how this all started is really sweet; you can find it on the site.
-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), December 23, 2000.