As if anyone has their wits about them enough to think of taking Artichoke tablets ot a pint of water when they get in after a night/day on the booze. Any more suggestions for decent hangover cures during the festive season.

A Thoroughly Unscientific Look At What To Take The Morning After

Dec 21, 2000 -- Considering it's one of the most common afflictions in the world, you might expect the humble hangover -- and the search for a perfect cure -- to have been the subject of volumes of in-depth research down the years. Think again. It seems that while recruiting willing guinea pigs to clinical trials would certainly not be a problem, securing the funding is. The Government understandably prefers to plough cash into strategies to stop people getting drunk in the first place, rather than helping them recover from their over-indulgence. In the absence of any hard scientific data, WebMD rounds up the purely anecdotal evidence on what works best when you've got the mother and father of all hangovers.

Preventive action

Okay, it might sound condescending but it's still the best advice around. Have a good time and enjoy your alcohol but try not to go way over the top. If you know it's going to be an all-night, heavy drinking session there are some basic measures that might stave off the worst of the after-effects. Current thinking is that eating healthily on the day of the party can help. Plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables are good because the antioxidants in them can cushion the blow to the liver from the influx of booze. And drink plenty of water before you go out. It gets the body ready to flush out the toxins.

More water

At the end of boozy night, the last thing you might think you need is more liquid. But swallow another pint of water before you go to bed, just to help the body cope with the dehydration that alcohol can cause. The ethanol in booze acts as a diuretic, boosting the amount of urine that's produced. This dehydrates the body and explains why you wake up with a raging thirst the next morning.

Sports drinks

As well draining the body of fluids, alcohol also depletes its sugar reserves. The resulting condition -- hypoglycaemia -- explains why you can feel weak and feeble next morning. So-called sports drinks, which contain large amounts of sugars and ions, may help by replacing lost sugars, boosting energy levels and rehydrating the body.

Amino acid supplements

A product called N-acetyl-cysteine (NAC) -- an amino acid supplement that can be bought over-the-counter in health food stores -- has emerged as another hangover cure. It's thought to work by boosting levels of an enzyme called glutathione. This enzyme normally helps clean up chemicals from the liver but levels of it drop after a large alcohol intake.

Hair of the dog

Does it work or doesn't it? Some people swear by it, others fear they'll meet their maker earlier than expected if they so much as sniff another drop. According to a report in New Scientist, one reason why it might seem to have an effect is the influence it has on the liver. The way the liver copes with alcohol is to break down the ethanol first, then the methanol. There's some evidence that it's the processing of the methanol that produces the worst effects of a hangover. By introducing yet more alcohol next morning, you may postpone this for a few hours -- but there's still no avoiding it.

Artichoke capsules

They may sound even less appealing than a hair of the dog but capsules made from dried artichoke and its active ingredient - cynarin -- could help. Sold in health food shops and pharmacies under the name of Cynara Artichoke, they work by helping the body break down the alcohol. The manufacturers recommend taking two before you start imbibing, two halfway through the evening and two more before falling into bed.

Prairie oysters

Strictly for those of an iron constitution, this one. Put two spoons of ketchup in a glass and drop in an egg yolk. Then add salt, pepper and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco and vinegar or lemon juice. If your stomach will let you, swallow quickly. How, or even if, it works is a bit of a mystery but it may be to do with the fact the egg contains a substance called cysteine -- a substance also found in the amino acid supplements mentioned earlier.

Fry-up

Eggs again. You may be able to skip the bacon, sausage and black pudding because if there is any benefit to be had from the traditional English breakfast, it's probably from the cysteine in the eggs.

Painkillers

If your head feels like it's been strapped to a jet engine at full throttle, it may be tempting to dash to the medicine cabinet. Taking painkillers will not cure the hangover but will get rid of your headache. But if possible, take ibuprofen as aspirin and alcohol can irritate the stomach and a combination of alcohol and paracetamol could damage your liver.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

Answers

Hair of the Dog ONLY works if you wanna go straight back on a bend....if ya wanna sober up and feel better it doesn't work...it's bollox...IMHO....

My way is 2 pints of oggin forced down before bed and a bottle of what the Jocks call ginger...preferably Irn Bru...in the morning.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

Oggin? Que?

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

And drink plenty of water before you go out

Ahhhh...that's the part I missed before the semi last year! I thought you were supposed to drink plenty of wine.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

I thought beer contained a massive precentage of water anyway, so surely having one or two more pints at the end of the night would make more sense. No maybe not.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

Oggin......ask Buff :-)

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2000

Another Definition :-

1 star hangover * No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries. 2 star hangover ** No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessley surfing the net and writing junk e-mails. 3 star hangover *** Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once. 4 star hangover **** You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls,it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following - 1. Home time 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone. 3. a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 star hangover, aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell ***** You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe...very gently.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2000

Try Again with proper lineup :-

Another Definition :- 1 star hangover * No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 star hangover ** No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessley surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover *** Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

4 star hangover **** You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls,it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following - 1. Home time 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone. 3. a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 star hangover, aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell ***** You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe...very gently.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2000