Ok. I just heard the strangest thing come out of my boss' mouth. I'm sure it was out of context seeing as I didn't hear what he said before that or what the person he was talking said. Anyway, he said "...I thought my wife would put me in a bag and suck all the air out." I've been chuckling ever since.

What's the strangest/funniest/weirdest thing you've overheard?

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

Answers

I don't know if this counts, because it was said directly to me by one of my dearest friends, but it's one of my favorite lines ever:

"Life's too short to dance with ugly people."

And I did listen in on a conversation at a party a few weeks ago where a guy said, in all seriousness, "Transgenderism will be to the aughts (00s) what piercing was to the 90s". Everyone but me kept a straight face and seemed to take the statement seriously. I snorted and turned my head. True to my nature, I did finally say "I think that chopping off your penis is incomparable to getting a belly ring." Maybe I'm not as forward thinking as some, but I'll avoid that trend the same was I avoided tattooing Mickey Mouse in a precious pose on my ass or calves.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

When I was a kid and would act up, my mom would say one of two things:

"Straighten up or I'm gonna snatch you bald-headed,"

or...

"Straighten up or I'm gonna grease and flush you."

Travis' story reminded me of that. *grins*

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

Southerners have colorful expression for this sort of thing. My father's was : "Boy...I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry."

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2000