The advert for the Black Stuff (Guiness) featuring crashing breakers charging horses and surfers coupled with philosiphical intonations and pounding drum and bass was recently voted the best advert of all time. The snail race and the Sicillian swimmers also drew a good share of the vote proving that the Guiness people take their adverts seriosly. Past directors employed inc Ridley Scott and Alan Parker while Jonathan Glaser who was responsible for the "Surfers" is at present completing a movie Sexy Beast out later this month, on here over the piece (footy talk) we have had bestest books, films, poems, nosh,pets, computers ,mobile phones,cars,groups, and much much more,

So fellow bb`s to get an insight into character behind the keys, why not list your three favourite adverts of all time with reasons

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

Answers

Now, do not delay -okay

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

I don't have a favourite three, but recently I received an advert for John West salmon which is hilarious. If any of you haven't seen it and want it then I'll forward it to you. Let me know!

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2000

I'd go for the Tango Adverts (specially those with Tango man in!), Budweiser Ad's (Frogs and Wassup) and i'm stuck for a 3rd.....I'll come back with one though....

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

The Davidoff `Cool Water` advert from about 4/5 years ago (you`d have to be a woman to appreciate that one)! More recently the Nike one with all the footballers (the one that had it`s own website). And the funniest one I`ve seen for years was the first Boddingtons cartoon one - the `love you like a cannibal` one. Don`t know why they took that one off, possibly because the sexy hip-grinding `male` cow was endowed with an udder!(:o)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

My favourite at the minute has to be the Reebok one with the big belly trying to catch the runner. "Belly's gonna get you, Belly's gonna get you"

I can't stand the "Wassup" crap. It's on the front of Santa hats now! Bring back the Lizards, at least children in the supermarket didn't run around yelling their catchphrase annoyingly.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

The one where the 'young lady' strikes the match on her oxter.

There are a few other hilarious subtleties in there as well. The little silver box he keeps his pulling match in.

That clapped out old pedicycle he hops on to go to the club.

Purely belter.

The galley slave one where caesar's supposed to be water skiing, from a few years ago

The bouncing bomb one, also from a few years ago.

Typically though, can't for the life of me remember what they were advertising. The oxter one's some sort of razor, but that's about it.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

I liked the Boddingtons one where all the models pose pretentiously, until the line "hey, Tarquin, are your trollies on the right way round?" - and his Y-fronts are on back to front. Mind, Boddiingtons tastes like fizzy piss so I wasn't 'that' impressed.

Quite intrigued by the new Dreamcast II (or is it Playstation? All the same to me) ads - disturbing but original (blerk confronted by people with the heads of a duck, pig etc).

Also liked the Levi's ad where the couple slowly dress each other before being caught by a shocked naked family - nice soundtrack, daft looking jeans.

Also got to mention that advert with Pedro and the Keegan team sheet year 2020 (or something) for Adidas. How I wish it were true.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

The bouncing bomb one, wasn't that Carling Black Label?? I liked the swimming pool one, when all the Germans were running to put the towels on the seats by the pool. That was quite funny.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

"Belly's gonna get you" is a laugh. Reminds me of Gav for some reason ;-))

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

Can I just mention that I, apparently, wrote the 40th best radio commercial of all time*? Thank you and good day.

Source: Radio Advertising Bureau:@)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

The ones where I piss mesel' are my faves...so here goes....

1. Carling Black Label......the Dam Busters one where the pilot's mate takes his flying mask off and STLL speaks in that squeaky voice.

2. Dunno what it is exactly but I think it's Birds Eye (quick dinners or something like that) or summat....where the young lad says to his friend "I fancy your mum"...pissed meself...you just DO NOT say that to your mate.

3. A variation on the above....where the lad's mate volunteers to get the washing in and he's out in the garden.......in th eoissin' rain for a LONG time...just staring at his mate's mum's underwear.....lovely :-)

3.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

MOST of the Boddies one's with the cartoon cow are brills....and that car one where matey-boy says "has it got one of those things in the back to hang yer coat uo with".....oh...and the same kinda advert but they are at the dinner table having a dinner party and the bloke says "does this taste all right to everyone"

:-)

Adverts...better than the telly progs.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

LR,

The follow up to the bird's eye one was even better. Same lads round the house, fancied mum shouts down that it's raining, and could they get the washing in off the line. Cuts to foxy mum coming into the kitchen and asking her son where his mate is. Cuts to the garden, with the other lad getting pissed wet through as he's completely unable to take foxy mum's underwear off the line.

Fantastic.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

LR,

Arse. Force of habit mate. Should read your positngs properly from time to time.....

;-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

forget it D...... I'm always making a twat of meself too :-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

All time favourite was Hovis.

Little 4 or 5-y-o boy with a superb picturesque Yorkshire village background in the middle of open country. A male voice - the now grown up boy, is narrating.

"Aa were knee 'igh to a grasshopper when aa first left 'ome. Aa packed all me marbles 'n' me comics 'n' me sandwiches in me tin and set off dahn t'lane. Aa hadn't gone far when aa met t'postman. 'Is this London yit?' aa asked him. 'Nay lad 'n' if th'aas leggin' dahn thier th'aal need a few more Hovis butties in thee tin. Come along 'ome wi' me 'n' we'll get thee mother te mek thee up a suitcasefull.'"

Gorgeous scene of the boy at a distance all of about 200 yards from his own house looking up at the postman standing by his bike and patting the boy's head and explaining that this is not London yet. Funny, poignant and priceless - I was disappointed it got no mention in the recent TV prog of all time fave ads, although Hovis did get a mention.

Other faves - all the Boddies are excellent "Do you want a flake with that?" etc. The original Heineken "refreshes the parts" ads were superb. The very first one with the row of barefooted policemen was a gem.

Great stuff. You're never alone with a Strand...

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

Pretty good Yorkie 'accent' that Jonno :-)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

It's taken 10 pints and unlimited champagne this afternoon to unloosen my memory but "TUDOR CRISPS" is my favourite advert.....

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

10 pints and a canny bag of Tudor eh Gav, ready to climb a moontin ,

Off the subject a wee bit but in my opinion the best logo of any company I have ever seen delivers onto the plant daily, White van, Fife Creamery , the logo is simple , a shot of 20+ of their vechicles crossing the Forth Road Bridge , the white against the blue sky , silhouetted inside the spans of the bridge - superb

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

And on the subject of logos, a scaffold firm around here own lorry's and T-shirts with "satisfaction with every erection" on them.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

Give you your due Garcie, humour,jokes in all your postings, I knew of a G Clennell , (Do you play cricket for starters)

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

No, I once won a signed cricket bat at a charity dinner though.

Clennell is not a popular name at all, infact I have only come across one other who is not related.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

2 x Clennells played cricket for Lintz CC in the Tyneside Senior Leag up to last year (my old club)

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

I know not of any of the 'family' who play cricket around Newcastle. The name 'Clennell', so I am told, originates from the N.E./Borders area, so is lot more common up north. I will be meeting an uncle for the Derby game on saturday, he keeps in touch with most of his brothers pretty often, so I will ask him if any play cricket.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 2000

Shouldn't forget those Guinness ads that started the ball rolling for them: those smooth ones with Rutger Hauer.

Current faves are the wonderful Time cumputers ads with Doctor Apocalypse "With this computer you could rule the world....no, really." Hosed myself laughing when I first saw it.

That Royal Bank of Scotland one with the pipe-cleaner men where one of them invents boots was also pretty memorable as was the "Mr Soft" soft mints ad. Kia-Ora still wows them at the pictures.

-- Anonymous, December 26, 2000

Softie - how's the bairn's first christmas been then?

-- Anonymous, December 26, 2000