Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?

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Turn On the High Beams

© 2000

A new fashion accessory you may not have known you needed: faux nipples

Friday, December 15, 2000 By Marla Lehner

NEW YORK — Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?

You'll never know with the latest outrageous fashion accessory — fake erect nipples.

Although you may not have known you needed to, thanks to a couple of entrepreneurial women from the Midwest (and their male business partner), women can now shine their headlights all the time — no matter the temperature or the mood.

That there could be a need for faux nipples was discovered during a "girls" weekend in Las Vegas, according to Lori Barghini, one of the owners of bodyperks, the home of the false rubber nipples. Barghini and her gal pals got into the spirit of Vegas' over-the-top atmosphere and decided to hit the Strip wearing mini-shampoo bottle caps in their blouses.

"They were kind of big but we didn't care," said Barghini, 41. "We were sassy with our bottle caps." The "perky" women — surprise, surprise — got a lot of attention on their night out and, presto!, a product idea was born.

And it seems the need for fake nipples was already there. Since Barghini and her partners started bodyperks in July, they have sold 4,000 pairs — at $20 a pop.

And the appeal isn't lost on men, who buy 40 percent of the product, said Barghini. "For friends or girlfriends or their wife ... We're doing a lot of secret Santas."

Stand and Deliver

The nipple enhancers were designed to be in line with the trend toward a "natural" — i.e. no-bra — look. So why not just go au natural if you want to show off your wears?

"Because you don't have any control over your nipples," said Barghini. "You don't know if they will be standing at attention. And body parts are asymmetrical," she added. "Sometimes one headlight is on and one isn't."

Indeed, the perky body part is well known for getting men's attention. But why?

"Men are much more turned on by visual stimuli than women are," according to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., R.N., former president of the American Association of Sex Counselors and Educators. "Men have been given the message that erect nipples are an indicator of sexual arousal in women, which is not necessarily so, but it is a visual indicator ... so men think 'oh, she's turned on by me.'"

"These are all stereotypes," she added, "but it seems to pan out when research is done."

Blake Morgan, a 31-year-old musician from New York, took one look at the nips, fresh out of the bag and said, "The first thing I noticed is they're gross. The reason they're gross is they're weirdly colored." But he admitted, "And yet the first thing I tried to do was reach out and touch them." Once he saw them in action, he said, "They look real. They really do look real."

Morgan, who says he's never been the sort to meet women in bars, said "I could see noticing some woman who had very pronounced nipples, but to what end? And then what? Am I going to walk over and say 'Hi.' Where is this leading?"

Party Favors

The nips may not be appropriate for the company holiday gathering. But "If you're ever at a boring party, just bring out your Perks ..." suggested Barghini, who says she often wears them out on the town. "My husband's a fireman. He said to me, 'Men are oglers — they like to look.'"

Dr. Whipple, on the other hand, expressed some hesitation about deceiving the opposite sex. "If it's an ice breaker, a way to get people talking on a deeper level, it's fine, but if it's a way of bypassing communication then I have trouble with it ... I think there are many other ways of attracting someone."

At Patricia Fields, a New York boutique noted for selling extravagantly sexy fashions, they have bodyperks displayed next to their array of pasties, those little round items (mainly) strippers use to cover nipples. They've had the new accessory in stock for a month, but Alyssa Nitchun, who works in the lingerie department, said, "We've only had one person buy them, but we love them here and we wear them."

She suggests customers wear them under a tight dress, tank or T-shirt for the most erotic effects. But she also offered a word of caution. "They are provocative, so you have to be prepared for people to notice them." And it may not be the kind of attention you'd otherwise relish.

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), December 18, 2000

Answers

Uncle Boob, err..Bob

you're slippen dude...here's the pic.



-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), December 18, 2000.


and here's what they look like under your clothes.

Hey guys could wear these too...LOL!



-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), December 18, 2000.


Or, as George Carlin would say, "Betcha can't eat just one!" "Makes a great stocking stuffer," says the bodyperks website...

-- I'm Here, I'm There, (I'm Everywhere,@So.Beware), December 18, 2000.

I'm here,

Wasn't that word (tits) on George Carlin's list of things you couldn't say on TV?...and he said that it sounded like a snack...like tater tits?..LOL

-- Peg (here@gai.n), December 18, 2000.


Finally, a subject we can get our teeth into.

-- Barry (bchbear863@cs.com), December 18, 2000.


Barry,

Somehow I imagine it wouldn't taste the same.

But I do understand people have different tastes. :)

-- (Sheeple@Greener.Pastures), December 18, 2000.


So true my dear, so true.

-- Barry (bchbear863@cs.com), December 18, 2000.

Just great! Now there are two forums with the same posts so I have to give the same replies on both.

HHMMMMmmmmm. That just gave me an idea. I think I'll market long rolled up mens tube socks to stick in their briefs, maybe with velcro....

What's good for the goose and all....EG

-- Cherri (sams@brigadoon.com), December 18, 2000.


Peg,

Absolutely correct. That line came right from his routine. ("...and, come on, 'tits' doesn't even belong on the list! It's such a friendly word... Sounds like a snack doesn't it? NEW NABISCO TITS! ...and Cheeze Tits, and Corn Tits, and Pizza Tits... Sesame Tits... TATER TITS...")

-- I'm Here, I'm There, (I'm Everywhere,@So.Beware), December 18, 2000.


Cute but false advertising. I like to watch women's nipples harden. That's a good sign that I'm doing something right.

-- (im@wake.now), December 18, 2000.


A girl I once knew had an inverted nipple,that would hardly ever become erect,while the other one could have cut glass,she was very,very self conscious of it.She used to put this little thing in her bra to simulate a nip,I hope she sees this : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), December 19, 2000.

That's a sad story capnfun, we all have some kind of abnormality, damn, I wish I were born perfect!

-- tits up (titsup@titsuptoyouu.cob), December 20, 2000.

To tell ya truth Tits,(allways did wanna say that!) It wasn't really all that bad,she had a very good nature about it and it seems a nifty gift God threw in in exchange,she could orgasm very well with just the slightest stimulation on the other breast. World's a wacky place huh: )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), December 21, 2000.

Just a little stimulation on the breast huh? Sounds like a real time saver.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), December 21, 2000.

My hero admits he wants to save time in the sack...disillusioned again.

-- helen (b@r.f), December 21, 2000.


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