Q)What's got 3 pairs of balls and f**ks you twice a week?

A)The National Lottery

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2000

Answers

So the good old Pope is in the shower, contemplating life in general, the warm water flows over his head, down his chest and to his loins. Something happens and before he know it he's having a good old stroke. Moments later the "holy seed" spurts forth and there is a terrific flash and the room lights up momentarily. Thinking it's God himself, he blurts out an apology. "No need" says the photographer, I have my pictures and I am going to sell them for a fortune. Absolutely stunned the Pope negotiates and ends up buying the camera and film for five million quid. Later he is walking through the halls of the Vatican, camera in hand. a Cardinal comes up, "nice camera your Holiness". "Aye", says the Pope, "it cost me five million quid". "Holy Sh!te" says the Cardinal, "they must have seen you coming".

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2000