Make-A-Wish Foundation Criticized After Dying 14-Year-Old Crashes Jet

© 2000

PASCAGOULA, MS-- The Make-A-Wish Foundation is under fire following the deaths of 39 people Monday, when a Harrier jet piloted by terminally ill 14-year-old Joshua Hewitt crashed into an apartment complex near Pascagoula. "We wish to point out that the training and licensing required to fly an AV-8B Harrier ordinarily takes two years--two years Joshua unfortunately did not have," Make-A-Wish spokeswoman Patti Darby said. "Joshua died living his dream, and that's what matters." The foundation has offered wishes to 17 children currently in critical condition at Pascagoula Memorial Hospital as a result of the disaster.

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), December 13, 2000

Answers

Love that Onion.

-- SydBarrett (dark@side.moon), December 13, 2000.

Perhaps Ralph Nader could be granted his wish to be President.

-- Dr. Pibb (dr.pibb@zdnetonebox.com), December 13, 2000.

From the same site:

Area Man Glad His Brother Is Giving Mom Grandkids

ROME, GA-- Area resident Larry Spoerl was thrilled to learn Monday that his brother's wife is pregnant, temporarily relieving him of the pressure to produce grandchildren for his mother. "That's the most wonderful news I've heard in ages," the 31-year-old Spoerl told brother Marc. "Now I can get through Christmas without the whole so- are- you- dating- anyone- how- serious- is- it- does- she- want- a- family interrogation." Despite his momentary elation, Spoerl said his brother's expected child "only buys me a year or two at best."

Direct Marketer Offended By Term 'Junk Mail'

SPOKANE, WA-- Dan Spengler, CEO of the direct-mail-marketing firm Mailbox Of Savings, took umbrage Monday at the use of the term "junk mail." "I'm sorry, but we didn't earn receipts in excess of $8 million last year by filling people's mailboxes with 'junk,'" Spengler told the offending party. "How else will potential customers know about bargains like 500 mailing labels for $8.95 or 10 percent off framing at The Great Frame-Up if not by direct mail?" Added Spengler: "It's not like my company calls people at home like telemarketers. Everyone hates that."

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), December 13, 2000.